One and Only

Part 7

One and Only - Chapter Seven

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Camila's POV
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"Dinah, you're about to pop." I said to the Polynesian girl. She was pregnant with her first son and it was obvious she didn't have much longer before he was going to be here.
"You tryna say I'm fat, Cabello?" She joked. "Well, it won't be long before I'm a mommy. Then I'll get my sexy bod back."
The girls laughed, Normani clearing her throat. We all turned to her, her eyes gleaming. "I have some news." We all leaned in, eager to hear. "I'm pregnant!" Everyone squealed, except for my Lauren. Normani hugged us all one by one, ecstatic. When she reached my best friend, we all fell silent, waiting for her reaction. It was like this all of the time, wherever we were, Lauren's reaction was always the most important to people. It was like people sought her approval.
"Congratulations, Mani, you'll be a great mother." Lauren smiled, hugging her gently. I could hear everyone's sigh of relief, even my own. I was beaming about it, especially because I knew Lauren's past.
The girls continued to celebrate, thinking of baby names, what gender Normani hoped the baby to be, how excited her husband was, but I didn't fail to notice how Lauren had checked out of the conversation. I made my way behind Lauren's chair, resting my hands on her shoulders, as I leaned down to whisper into her ear. "Are you okay?"
She nodded, "Why wouldn't I be?"
"All of this baby talk..." I trailed off.
Lauren looked up at me, twisting her head to meet my eyes. Our faces were centimeters apart. I had to stop myself from breathing so heavily. "Ally's a wonderful mom. Dinah and Normani will be wonderful, too. They're nothing like my mother, Camila-the complete opposite."
I frowned. She sounded so sad. "You deserved better." She tensed, facing forward again, and I started to massage her shoulders, hoping to ease her discomfort about the topic. "I love you, Lauren, even if your mom didn't." I spoke quietly, so that the girls wouldn't hear. They were too caught up in planning, anyway.
"Can we not do this here? I don't want to discuss my childhood now. I've had a pretty stressful day." She snapped.
Grumpy Lauren was out today. I started to reply when Ally turned to me.
"It won't be long before Camila is pregnant, too!" She exclaimed. I straightened myself up, my hands still resting on Lauren's shoulders.
Normani grinned. "Oh, yeah, Camila, we'll all be mommies soon."
"What about Lauren?" Dinah asked.
"Well, I'm assuming Mila would make her the Godmother." Normani replied as if that was the most obvious answer in the world.
I heard Lauren inhale sharply and I decided to start massaging her shoulders again, trying to comfort her. "Of course I would. I can't think of anyone better than her."
Lauren stood up suddenly, all eyes on her. I took her hand into my own sympathetically. It was obvious that this was too much for her. She cleared her throat as if to explain herself while smoothing her skirt out. A flash of pain came across her delicate face before it was gone again. "I need to get some air." She spoke.
"Do you want me to come with you?" I asked.
She turned to me, pausing a second as if considering my offer, "No. Stay here." She began walking off, but I still had her hand. She stilled, turning on her heels slowly. "Camila." She warned.
I let go hesitantly, watching as she flashed a fake smile to the girls before leaving.
"Did we say something?" Ally asked, worried.
"No. It's not any of you guys, believe me." I reassured them.
They nodded, not pushing it any further, and I silently thanked them for that. The girls talked about plans for their lives a bit more before they scattered off to their own desks.
A while later-it felt like hours, but really, it had only been around thirty minutes-Lauren returned. She was walking toward me to sit back down at her desk, but Mark quickly joined her side, a little too close to her for my liking. I grimaced as she sat down, Mark towering over her.
"I miss your body." He whispered and Lauren rolled her eyes, beginning to type. Mark moved her hand to lay on top of hers. "Don't you miss mine?"
I couldn't stand to watch this any longer. "Mark, don't you have something better to do?" My tone was bitter.
"Something better to do than the one and only Lauren Jauregui? Of course not." He moved closer to her face. "If you get lonely tonight, call me. You know I'll be there."
"I'm not going to call you." Lauren scoffed.
Mark just smirked at her, "We'll see," and he walked off. Lauren relaxed when he was gone, driving her palms into her forehead and closing her eyes.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
Lauren looked up at me, "I'm just not having a good day, Camila, that's all."
"Why didn't you let me go with you outside?"
"I wanted to be alone... Plus, I don't need those girls thinking that you and I are those weird friends that can't function without one another."
"Lauren?"
"Yeah?"
"We are those friends."
She laughed softly. It wasn't her usual one. It sounded... tired, almost. "I know." She watched as I frowned at her demeanor, speaking again. "Camz?"
"Yeah?"
"Love you." She said.
I smiled, relieved. "I love you, too."
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When we were packing up, I stayed close to Lauren's side, holding her hand, making her know my presence. We were walking in the parking garage when she decided to address it.
"I'm not dying, Camila." She said, referring to my excessive display of affection.
I pulled her closer, wrapping my other hand around the inside of Lauren's arm. "It makes me worried when you have a rough day."
"I'm fine."
"I just want to make sure."
She pulled away from me, her voice calm yet stern. "And you're doing that by being all up on me?" I could tell she was annoyed. "I can take care of myself."
There it was. That was the one thing she was always trying to prove to me. I was a little hurt she was acting this way toward me, but I knew it all stemmed from the way her mother had never taken care of her. All of the pregnancy talk must have brought this on. "I know you can."
"So, let me do that."
"You had a bad day, Lauren, and I want to help make it better."
"Then leave me alone."
She was trying to hurt me on purpose. "No." I grasped her hand again.
"Camila!"
"No, Lauren! I'm taking care of you."
"I don't need you to." She huffed.
"Well, I want to."
"It's just one bad day." Lauren groaned.
"One is too many."
"Whatever, you're leaving tonight with Adam, anyway." Her tone was harsh.
I knew that even though Lauren was saying she was glad I was staying at Adam's for the weekend, she was disappointed I wouldn't be home to take care of her like I said I would. I tightened my grip on her hand. "You can get rid of me then, I guess." She stayed quiet the whole ride home, but she let me hold her hand, and that was all I was going to ask for at that point. I just needed her to know that I was there for her.
When we got into the apartment, she walked straight to her study, but I grabbed her arm. "No!" I pouted. "Spend time with me."
"We spend all of our time together, Camila. We spend the mornings together, we spend all day at work together, and we spend our nights together, that is when you're even here." I could hear the anger in her voice, but it remained at a low level. I sighed. She really was upset. When I turned to walk away, it was her who pulled me back. "I'm sorry... You know how I get when all of that stuff is brought up." She said, referring to her mother.
I nodded. "It's okay, Lauren, and it's okay to let someone other than yourself take care of you sometimes." I hugged her, resting my chin on her head as she wrapped her arms around my waist.
"I really am sorry." She mumbled into my shoulder.
I kissed her lightly on the top of her head. "Don't be."
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Eventually, Adam came over to collect me, and somehow, I had persuaded him to stay a while. He was sitting on the chair opposite of the couch, staring at Lauren and I uncomfortably, I would assume because we were cuddling.
He took a sip of the wine Lauren had poured for him, "So, Camila, when do you plan to move out?"
I sat up immediately. "Move out?" My voice was barely above a whisper. He nodded. "Uh-"
"To come live with me." He added.
I looked to Lauren who was smiling at me, like she had expected this to happen for a while now.
Adam chuckled at my lack of response. "Surely you didn't think that you would live with Lauren forever, especially after you are married to me."
I couldn't help but stutter. This was all becoming so real. "L-live with... live with y-you?"
He leaned forward, his eyebrows furrowed. "Is something wrong?"
"It's just that... well, I've never not been around Lauren for several years now." I turned to her and she rubbed my back.
"Well, it's time to start saying goodbye. You know I have to move out of state and you're coming with me, Mrs. Fiancé."
Lauren's hand stopped as she retreated it. I looked at her once again and her expression was one I'd never forget. "Out of state?"
"California!" Adam's voice boomed across the dead-silent living room.
Lauren gaped at me and I had to cover my face. "Camila, that's across the country... You didn't tell me about that. Why didn't you tell me about that?"
Adam laughed and I looked up at him. "You two can talk about it later. Camila, I'm off to go home. You're coming with me, yes? Tonight is our night." He winked. I didn't even hear Lauren laugh at that. This was so wrong.
I got up slowly and Lauren mirrored my stance. Frowning at her, I spoke. "I'll see you tomorrow."
Lauren looked like a bomb had just gone off. I knew she wasn't expecting this news. "Okay." She croaked out, nodding. "Okay." She repeated.
I turned to Adam who was gathering our things for the weekend then back to Lauren to hug her goodbye. She was already walking toward her study then, not in the mood to see us out of the door. My frown deepened. This was not good.
As Adam and I were driving to his house, I was fuming. I looked at him, my eyes ablaze, as his were glued to the road. "Why did you say that in front of Lauren?"
"Say what?" He asked, not giving me any more attention than that.
"You told her we were moving out of state."
"Well, we are."
"I wanted to tell her myself."
He chuckled. "I thought you already had. You're best friends-you tell her everything, I'm sure. Why should I assume us moving is anything different?"
I glared at him. "Well, I hadn't told her. I didn't appreciate you telling her, either."
"She doesn't tell you everything, either, Camila."
"What the hell does that mean?"
"It means I know something you don't."
I pursed my lips. Lauren had told Adam something and not me? "What are you talking about?"
"Gabrielle-she said some unnecessary things to me the night I was waiting for you to finish getting ready." He clenched his jaw. "Lauren happened to overhear. She wasn't entirely pleased with the whole issue. In fact, that was the only time she has ever apologized to me."
I blanched. "What did Gabrielle say to you?"
"She said you weren't in love with me." He shook his head as if dismissing the thought. I gulped. "And then made a slight remark about how she thinks you have feelings for Lauren."
Oh, shit. "Why did Lauren apologize to you?"
"Like I said, she overheard the way Gabrielle was speaking to me. To be honest, that girl got to me a little-started to make me think that you really didn't love me as much as you say you do-but Lauren fixed that. She apologized for Gabrielle's behavior, assuring me there was no truth to them." My heart sunk a little-no truth? Lauren didn't have feelings for me. "Anyway, that's why she broke up with that incessant girl."
"She broke up with Gabrielle because of you?"
He glanced at me quickly, looking at me as if I were stupid. "Because of me? No, Camila. She broke up with Gabrielle because of you."
"Why? I didn't want her to do that."
"Gabrielle tried to hurt you, Camila-tried to hurt your relationship with me and your friendship with Lauren." A faint smile fell onto his lips. "Lauren doesn't like when you're messed with and neither do I. No matter how much we disagree on things, we're always in agreement on how much we both love you."
My body sagged. "Why didn't she tell me?"
"Why didn't you tell her?" He asked, trying to make a point about the accidental news of our move to California.
We stayed in silence for the rest of the ride, Adam's choice of classical music flowing through my ears.
Lauren broke up with her for me? I would have never asked her to do that. And what the hell was she doing filling Adam in on things that I had already personally asked her about? She didn't even like Adam. What other things hadn't she told me about? I winced remembering the look on her face when Adam mentioned California and wondered what she was doing right now. I had told her that I was going to take care of her and then I left. I was silently reprimanding myself. I fucked up and I knew it.
The night was unsatisfying as always and when Adam checked it off of his clipboard, I smiled thinking of how Lauren thought it was preposterous. We spent the entire weekend apart, excluding the one time we had sex for, like, less than a minute. He stayed working on his laptop, glued to it like it was his religion, and I found myself praying to God that Lauren would show up, but she never did. I knew Adam would find that extremely unacceptable, though. By nine in the morning on Sunday, he rushed me out of his house, driving me home quickly. I wished I took our car instead. He didn't even say goodbye when I left. He just sped off, like he was glad to have me gone.
When I walked in the loft, I wasn't expecting to see a naked man in my kitchen. I screamed, surprised that Mark was in my home.
He smirked at me. "Hey, Camila." Mark took a swig from the milk carton he grabbed from our refrigerator and I was speechless.
"What are you...?" My voice trailed off as I put two and two together. Oh, no. No. Lauren can't be with him. She was doing so well. I left in search of her immediately, finding her asleep in her bed. "Oh, my God." I ran to her side, slapping her face lightly. "Wake up, wake up, wake up!" They must've spent the weekend together. I shuddered at the thought of what they must have been doing.
She groaned, stirring in her sleep. Her eyes fluttered open and she wiped harshly at them, like she was adjusting to morning light. "Camz?" She laughed. "Hhhhhey." Her hands moved to cover mine which were caressing her cheeks. "How was your clipboard sex?" She giggled and I rolled my eyes.
"Did you go out last night, Lauren?"
She nodded. "And yesterday."
"Did you sleep with Mark?"
Lauren blinked, her smile fading. "I'm going to miss you, Camila." I frowned at her, the sudden change of topic catching me off-guard. "Who's going to take care of me?"
I hadn't noticed Mark had entered the room until he spoke. "That would be me." I scoffed in disgust. "By the way, you're out of milk."
"I wonder why."
Mark chuckled and turned to Lauren, walking toward her, completely unfazed by his nakedness. "Don't worry, baby. Once Camila here is married and moving on with her life, away from you, I'll take care of you." He stroked her arm. "Really well."
I smacked his hand away, Lauren faintly saying an 'okay' to the idea as she drifted to sleep.
"Did ya hear that? Apparently, I'm the new you-except with sex. Have fun in California. She told me all about it... that is, when we had time to talk." His eyebrows raised suggestively and I had had enough.
I got up from Lauren's side, "You fucking asshole! You know she would never consent to you if she was sober!" I grabbed his clothes up from Lauren's floor, knowing she had more than likely been drunk the whole weekend. "Get out!" I screamed, repeatedly. "Get out! Get out! Get out!"
Mark left quickly as I followed him, tears gliding down my face in anger or sadness, I didn't know anymore. I slammed the door shut behind him, my back sliding against it as I sat down. Oh, I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to leave Lauren here with Mark and I didn't want to leave with Adam as my husband. I closed my eyes, trying to block out the imagery of a more than sober Mark messing around with my intoxicated Lauren. I couldn't shake the feeling that this was all of my fault. I left her here, alone, after Adam had dropped this huge news on her. I rubbed at my temples, trying to ease my newfound headache, knowing that all Lauren wanted was for someone to take care of her. My head whipped up at the sound of Lauren's faint calls for Mark. I wiped my tears, walking into the bedroom. "Mark left, baby."
Lauren looked at me, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "I thought he was going to take care of me."
"No, Lauren."
"I thought you left me." She grabbed at my hand.
"Not yet."
"Oh." She was slurring, the alcohol probably fresh in her system. "I'm going... to miss... you."
I nodded, a sad smile gracing my lips. "Move over." She obliged and grinned up at me.
"Are you going to take care of me?"
"Oh, Lauren, I always will." I climbed into bed with her, her head resting on my chest.
"Did you have fun with Adam?"
I sighed. I might as well tell the truth about that for once in my life. Besides, Lauren was drunk. I needed to tell someone-and I knew she wouldn't remember the next day. "No, Laur, I didn't." She nuzzled further into me, trying to get comfortable. "In fact, I don't think I'm in love with him." I paused, swallowing hard. "I don't think I ever was."
Lauren yawned. "That's nice."
"Go to sleep." I said, brushing hair out of her face and then stroking it gently.
"Okay." She wrapped every limb she had around me, trying to get comfortable. I stifled a laugh despite the overwhelming guilt I felt. "Sweet dreams, okay?" Lauren giggled.
"Okay, Lauren." I agreed, planting a kiss on her hair. She fell asleep quickly and I realized just how exhausted she must be. "Sweet dreams." I whispered, tears threatening my eyes again.
No, I didn't love Adam, but how much longer could I ignore that fact? I looked down at my best friend, the girl I now had feelings for, and I could see the spots Mark had been, dried throw up in her hair, and the smell of vodka was undeniably taking over my senses. She had called Mark because I had left her feeling alone by going off to have a less than delightful weekend at my fiancé's. I was clutching my unconscious, drunk, and naked best friend, afraid to let her go for fear something else bad would happen to her. So, how much longer could I ignore the fact? I was guessing I didn't have much time to hide it anymore.
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