One and Only

Part 13

One and Only - Chapter Thirteen

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Lauren's POV
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Camila had decided that she wanted to walk to work today, like so many times before, and I was again grateful that we lived so close.
She swung our hands back and forth, grinning the whole way as we talked about whatever came to mind. The blissful moment was cut short when a familiar face approached us. I smirked at the resurfacing memories I had created with this girl once before.
"Who's this?" Natalie asked, not bothering to greet either of us. She was jealous-you could hear it in her voice.
"This is Camila." I replied, taking in Natalie's features. She looked good, but not as good as my Camila. We dated, sort of, when I first moved to New York.
The blonde ignored Camila, stepping up to me. She didn't seem to take the hint of our interlinked hands-or maybe she did and just didn't care. "Camila?" She scoffed, staring intensely at me. "Does she know how to make your heart race like I do?"
I sensed Camila's uncomfortableness at the situation, guessing it was probably because her and I still hadn't taken that step together, but remained smiling, even as Natalie's index finger began tracing over my lips. I found the whole thing almost laughable-how embarrassing this must be for her.
"I remember what those lips did to me." She husked, her voice low. I let go off Camila's hand to gently move Natalie away from me.
"Okay, Natalie. I mean, you're a nice girl, but-"
"Nice?" She says the word like it's an insult. "Surely I was more than nice to you. Don't you remember what those nights were like? I can't forget them."
Camila looked away from us, just after I saw her face flash with hurt. "I'm sorry, Natalie. I can't give you what you want." I quickly grasped my girlfriend's hand again, moving us away from the blonde.
Camila was fighting back tears, I could tell. "I looked like a fucking idiot standing next to you."
My heart sank. "No, you didn't."
"Yes, I did!" She snapped angrily. "She could see it on my face that she had already one-upped me. Jesus, Laur. You were with her for what, a week at the most, and you slept with her. You've known me for over seven years."
Oh, we were back at this again. "We talked about this, Camila." I couldn't help but throw a hint of annoyance in my tone.
"No, you talked about this." Camila increased her pace. I had to speed walk to catch up with her.
"Why are you mad?" I asked, flustered. "Because some girl embarrassed herself back there?"
"No. Because some girl embarrassed me back there."
I rolled my eyes as she took her hand back, crossing her arms so I couldn't try to hold them again. Our fleeting moment of bliss was gone.
Once we entered our work, we sat down in silence. I was hoping the quiet would ease her tension before lunch. Just as I started to think we would be okay, Mark walked up behind me, whispering in my ear. I couldn't even look at Camila-I knew how furious she was going to be.
"What do you say to the both of us meeting in the utilities closet over there?"
I declined, trying not to make a scene, especially with Camila listening, but he was being persistent.
"Come on," Mark kept saying.
I turned to him, our faces inappropriately close. He smirked as if I was going to let him take me right there on the desk. "Mark, we had a couple of flings when I was drunk. Nothing more. You might have gotten me with tequila in my system, but don't ever think you'll get me sober."
His smirk vanished, replaced with anger, and I noticed Camila glaring at him. Mark gestured to her, then looked at me. "What's her problem? Did you fuck her, too?"
Camila got up, her breathing uneven as she glanced around the room. A few people were staring at her to see what she was going to do, but she remained silent as she stormed off. I noticed Ally sending me a questioning look, but I decided to return my focus back to my desk.
"You did fuck her." Mark chuckled. "I can't believe it."
I scolded him. "You really need to leave me the fuck alone. You just made things way worse."
"Hey, I didn't know you guys were occasionally fucking. Maybe you should've told me."
I took a deep breath, trying to keep my temper low. "When you talk to me like that, do you ever think about your daughter?" He stiffened. I knew he hated talking about this. No one at work knew he had a kid but me. "What if she heard you? Do you think she would grow up thinking it's okay for guys to talk to her like that, too?"
"I'm sorry." He apologized. "I would never purposefully do anything to make you unhappy."
"I know, Mark, and I know we have this... connection, or whatever-we both care about each other. I know you promised to protect me from the assholes at work in exchange that you act like the asshole, but... lay off of the act when Camz is around, okay? I just really don't want to fuck this up."
He nodded. "Yeah, of course, Lo." I smiled. He was the only one that called me that. "You know you're my favorite girl around."
"Yeah, whatever." I laughed. He gave me a sincere smile before he walked off.
My hands found their way to my forehead, trying to massage away the overwhelming headache I had. I really needed to sort this out-this whole not being with Camila thing because, if I was being honest, I didn't know how much longer I could go with this much desire for someone. I wasn't used to it. It made me uncomfortable in the best ways. Just the thought of her and I together-I had to shift in my seat and cross my legs.
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About an hour or two had passed before Camila came back. She looked significantly different than before-her hair was styled and her makeup fresh. I noticed she had hiked up her dress higher than it was this morning. You've got to be kidding me. I looked away as fast as I could, knowing full well that if I really took in her appearance, I'd be dragging the both of us home, no questions asked.
I glanced over at Dinah who was watching my every move, probably trying to see what reaction I would give Camila. When she saw me looking back at her, she moved her gaze elsewhere, nervously working.
"Camila," I said, my desires pushed back after figuring out her little game.
"Yes, Lauren?" Her voice was husky, just like Natalie's.
I grinned at her, leaning forward. "Does Dinah have to know about every single thing with us?"
Camila looked shocked that I had said that. I watched as she turned her head to look for the Polynesian girl for what to do next. I followed her gaze, looking at Dinah challengingly. Her eyes widened, turning her attention away from us, leaving Camila to fend for herself. Camila turned back to me. "Well..." She said. I arched my eyebrow, waiting for her response. "She might have spruced up my appearance a bit."
"Why?"
She sat down at her desk in front of me with a huff. "Because I want to be with you, Lauren, and I don't know what else to do. I know that you aren't telling me the full reason, either, about why you haven't let anything go beyond making out." She sighed. "How are we supposed to fix a problem you won't even tell me about?"
"We don't have a problem."
Camila glared at me. "You've fucked half of New York City, Lauren, but won't go near me? What the hell do you call that?" She whispered urgently.
My eyes narrowed at her. She wasn't playing fair. This wasn't about who I've slept with-it was about why she wanted to sleep with me. "I'm not discussing this here." Especially not when I want to rip that dress off of you.
"Of course you aren't discussing this here. You don't discuss anything with me anymore."
"Do you want to make a scene? I wasn't planning on getting fired today." Why was she being such a child about this?
She replied with a moody 'whatever' before we settled back into silence, both of us pretending to do the work we were supposed to be doing.
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I looked at my reflection briefly before I turned my attention back to my hands, washing them in the sink. A smile tugged at my lips when I remembered all of the times I had been with coworkers of mine in here. After all, I was pretty proud of myself. Being able to take what-and who-I wanted was something I always valued in my life. Having said that, I didn't know why I just couldn't get over the thought that Camila was using me for sex. It's not like it was the first time it's happened to me, so why was I so obsessed with making sure Camila didn't do it to me? I knew most of my reasoning was because I simply cared for Camila. She was important to me and I didn't want to jeopardize that further than I already had. But a part of me knew it ran deeper than that. I had feelings for her-strong feelings. I couldn't bear the thought of her not returning them. I couldn't bear the thought that I was just an experiment, like she was testing the waters before she got back with Adam for good. What would I do then? She would have the house, the husband, and the kids and all I would have would be feelings for her.
The recollection of my biggest fear vanished as I heard the bathroom door open, Camila walking in. I looked at her through the mirror, her appearance making me weak. It would be so easy to just push her up against these sinks and take her, but I refused to. It wasn't the right time-especially not in our workplace bathroom-but Camila didn't seem to care as she waltzed over to me, standing behind me. She looked at me through the mirror, her fingertips moving to trace my arm. I could literally feel my resistance cracking at her touch, my eyes shutting as I took in a deep breath to control myself. This was insane. I was always in control.
I turned around to face her, to tell her 'not now', but her smirk got to me, and in that immaculate and spotless bathroom, I wanted nothing more than to just give in.
So I did.
She leaned in and, before I knew it, we were kissing. I knew she didn't lock the door-I was pretty sure she didn't even know there was a lock-but at that point, I didn't care. Her lips showed urgency, her hand coming to my neck, pushing us closer. Camila released a breathy moan into my lungs when my hips pinned us to the wall. Her other hand moved to the back of my thigh, trailing its way up my skirt.
And I was once again aware of what we were doing-or rather, what we were about to do. There was that deafening reminder in my head, an alarm blaring in my ears. I was almost unsure of whether or not I would be able to pry myself away from her. Surely, she didn't want our first time to be in a bathroom, especially this one. I started pulling myself away, trying to prevent something from happening that we couldn't undo.
Camila sensed that this was about to end, her breathy voice returning as she let out a, "Lauren...", her leg moving up to rest on my hip. She brought our lips together again as I kissed her hesitantly, my thoughts racing. Finally, I managed to pull myself away from her, looking nervously back at Camila as she ran a hand through her hair, frustrated.
"Am I doing something wrong?" She huffed. I opened my mouth to reply, but she interrupted me. "Why don't you want me?" I began to say something when she cut me off again. "I've seen you come home with all of these girls, even some guys, and you want them. What's wrong with me? What am I doing wrong? Do you just not find me attractive?"
"Camila, no-"
She disregarded me again. "Why won't you have sex with me?"
My eyes widened at the bold question and now that I had the chance to speak, I was speechless. I was never speechless. I saw tears brimming at the edges of Camila's brown eyes before she turned her face away from me.
"Excuse me." She said, walking out of the bathroom.
I turned back to the mirror, my lipstick smudged on my face and, despite the problem with Camila, I smiled. I couldn't remember the last time someone had smudged my lipstick. I couldn't remember the last time someone had caught me off guard like that. Oh, no, Camila wasn't doing anything wrong. It had never felt more right. I had never felt so alive under someone's touch and the feeling I got when she was so desperate to pull us closer was indescribable.
I shook my head. No, Lauren. It's not the right time. What if she goes back to Adam? I shuddered at the thought.
I fixed myself up as quickly as possible, wiping off the smudged lipstick with the pad of my thumb. A grin formed on my face when I had to pull my skirt further down, obviously a result of her hand trekking to places it wasn't supposed to be during work hours.
With a final glance, I walked out of the bathroom, the air seemingly easier to breathe in now that I wasn't fighting off my own urges. When I returned to my desk, I noticed Camila wasn't there. I glanced over at Dinah who pointed in the direction of Mr. Clarke's office where, not a moment later, Camila reappeared, not sparing me a look before walking out of the office with her coat and purse draped over her arm. Dinah gave me a questioning look to which I responded with a shrug. Was Camila really so upset that she would leave work? I grimaced. We hadn't ever been at work without one another. The rest of the day was going to drag by so slowly.
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I practically rushed home, whipping the front door open to walk into my sanctuary. I relaxed immediately at the sound of the click when the door shut, moving to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of wine. I noticed how quiet it was before I called out for her. "Camila?"
"In here." I heard a small voice. She was in her old bedroom. I left my wine on the counter as I walked in there. Camila looked up at me from her book, still in that dress, "How was work?"
"It was good-really good-until you left." I leaned my side against the door frame, watching her.
"Sorry."
"You've been coming in here a lot recently." I said, referring to her old bedroom.
"Only twice."
"Twice too many."
She frowned at me. "I can think here."
"You can't think in our room?"
She stood up, crossing her arms. "I know this is all new for you, Lauren, but might I remind you, it's new for me, too. Our room was just your room a couple of weeks ago. At least here I can sit without constant reminders of you." Camila must have sensed the hurt on my face because she spoke again. "Not that I don't love the reminders, but sometimes I need to clear my head."
"Is that why you left work?"
She sighed, looking around the room before she locked her eyes back with mine. "I've been sitting here trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong."
I rolled my eyes, angry-not with her but with myself. "Camz, you aren't doing anything wrong."
"How do you expect me to believe that?" Her hands went palm up in confusion. "I know you aren't telling me something and I don't know why. Do you think I can't take it? Do you not want to be with me anymore? Just fucking tell me. Tell me so I can stop losing sleep over it."
I took a deep breath, weighing my options. I didn't drink enough wine for this conversation. "I just-I don't..." I rubbed at my throbbing temples. Enough of this. It was time to say it. "What is this thing with Adam? Is it a break? Are you going to get back together with him after me?"
She glared at me. "You think I want to get back together with Adam?"
"You just broke up with Adam after four years together and... well, it was all just so sudden. It was like one second you were moving to California and I thought I was losing you and then you were staying here without Adam and then we happened and-I just don't want you to look back on this as a mistake." I gulped. "I don't want you to think of me as a mistake."
"Why would I ever think that?"
"With Adam, you have everything. What do you have with me? You wanted passion and I understand that, I do, I just can't help but wonder if that's the only reason we're together-just for the romance you lacked with him."
"You think I'm using you?" She looked at me in disbelief. "You think that I would jeopardize our friendship for my own selfish benefit? I've given you no reason to believe that, Lauren, and I won't stand here and be accused of it."
"You have nothing with me, Camila. I can't give you the American dream you want." I shrugged. "I can't give you what Adam could have."
"That's not my dream. It might have used to be but my dream is you. It is." She said, as if dismissing the uncertainty in my head. "For the longest time, I thought I wanted a life with Adam, but I don't. I want you."
"You're so sure of that, huh?"
"Yes." She nodded, biting on her bottom lip out of nervousness. I groaned internally at the sight.
"Why?"
She considered the question for a split second before she responded, eyes gleaming. "Because I know you, Laur. I know that despite everything and despite the front you put up, you care. I know you. I'll always know you. You're my dream."
Without a second thought, I walked forward, towering over her. I heard her breath hitch, the tension between us almost unbearable. Realizing what I was about to do, I restrained myself, hesitant to move. We stared into each other's eyes before she kissed me, moving back to look at me.
"Camila..." I warned, my resistance wearing thin. My voice was unconvincing as she kissed me again lightly, pulling away once more.
"Touch me." She whispered, her hands guiding mine to rest on her waist. "I want you." I was slowly breaking down, almost positive Camila could see the desire in my eyes. "I need you." Her soft lips went to my neck, planting kisses there before she connected our lips once more.
I couldn't help but to reciprocate. Her pace was slow, but I couldn't take it anymore. There had been so much waiting, so much fear and worrying over this, and it was finally here. I was going to make it worthwhile. I reached around to unzip her out of her dress when it got stuck. I tugged on it a few more times before I moved my hands to the front of the dress, impatiently tearing at it. It ripped quickly, Camila letting out a small gasp as the shredded garment fell to the floor. I almost melted at the sight of her lace undergarments, a matching black, and pushed her against the wall, hearing her groan at the unexpectedness of it all. I brushed my tongue over her bottom lip, remembering how sexy she had looked when she was biting it, before our tongues met, urging me to deepen the kiss. She moaned into the contact before wrapping her legs around my waist as I carried her to the bed, my lips attacking her neck. I laid her beneath me, her breathing becoming even more labored when I straddled her. Our eyes met in a sensual haze and her hands moved to rid me of my top, throwing it to the side before she leaned up, bringing us back into a heated kiss. Her hands knotted in my hair at the sound of our heels hitting against the wooden floor as we kicked them off simultaneously. Camila released a hand from my locks to unzip my skirt, pulling it off desperately when I shifted my position, my leg resting in between her thighs. I pulled her bra down, her breasts trussed up and resting above the fabric, and without hesitation, attached my mouth to one, my other hand moving to graze over her other delicate breast bud. She gasped at the sensation and I briefly wondered if Adam had ever even touched her. I gave the other the same treatment, lavishing in the way her choppy breaths filled the air. Eventually, I properly took her bra off, taking in the sight of her breasts fully, my own breath catching at the view. I met her eyes which were filled with a mixture of lust and love and my heart swelled. "You're beautiful, Camila."
She answered with a smile, pulling me closer to her as she kissed me again, our pace slowing down. Our lips molded together effortlessly, the sound of her breathing increasing by the second. She arched her neck toward me when I began kissing it, purposefully leaving love bites in my path, and unhooked my bra. The feeling of our chests pressed together set a new blaze in my desires, and I rapidly went to remove us both of our panties. My hand moved to cradle her head, the pad of my thumb brushing against her cheek as I kissed her gently. My free hand slid in between us and even I wasn't prepared for the amount of ardor I felt when I came in contact with her center, my fingers purposefully gliding through her folds. She moaned onto my lips, finding it more difficult to keep up with the kiss when my thumb brushed against her bundle of nerves. She tilted her head back, working through the pleasure, and I began my journey of placing kisses down her neck until I found her breasts once again. My free hand and mouth manipulated them sensually as I sunk two fingers into her pulsing core. She released a string of curses in Spanish, driving me to increase my pace. I added a third finger and decided that there was nothing more sexy than the way her nails dug into my back, scratching and clawing-nothing more sexy than the frequent moans filling the air around us. I plunged as deep as I could into her, my fingers curling and twisting skillfully.
It didn't take much longer for her to come undone at the mercy of my hand, the sound of my name tumbling out of her mouth. She laid limply under me, but I had other plans. I sat up, running my hands down her body, easing her legs open. My hands rested on the sides of her, sinking into the mattress, while the top of her thighs were pressed up against the back of my knees. I gave her a small kiss on one of the marks I left on her chest before I eased back onto her, our centers meeting. Our straggled moans mixed together, our eyes locked. I gyrated against her, her hands gripping my forearms, and she soon broke eye contact, her own eyes shutting as her head fell back. The sight of her slowly shifting up and down with our movements etched itself in my mind, her mouth agape slightly and her hair a perfect mess. At a particular thrust, her body gave over to a wave of pleasure, her body arching off of the bed and into me. My body was spent as I collapsed on top of her, relaxed more than ever.
I felt her shaky breath and heard her erratic heartbeat, a small smile forming on my lips. She pulled me upward after she managed to get herself together, kissing me longingly. She planted another small kiss on my neck, her fingertips tracing my arm just like she did today in the bathroom. We didn't talk, just laid in silence. I don't think either of us wanted to ruin the moment or the feeling that lingered around us. We kissed for a while more until she just buried her face into my neck, drifting off to sleep. And this night, I slept, too.
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