Life With Him

Chapter 21

Amber's point of view

Cam has been on the phone arguing with Lia for the past twenty minutes because she refuses to tell us where Logan is, while I have been trying to look up any abandoned hospitals that are an hour away from here but it's useless. I just want my baby girl back, home and safe and...

"I DON'T CARE IF TOMORROW WOULD BE SAFER WE NEED TO GET HER BACK TONIGHT!" cam yells into the phone.

"Just tell me where the hell my daughter is, Lia" He says, angrily.

I find a hospital that's about an hour away from here and it's says that it's been abandoned for about five years now.

"Cam, look at this." I say.

He hangs up the phone and walks over to me.

"Please tell me you found something"

"I don't know. There's a hospital in Sacramento. It says that it has been abandoned for over five years but it doesn't say why." I tell him.

"Start calling the guys.." He says

"Cam it's 4:30 in the morning." I remind him.

"I don't care, they're probably up anyways, they don't sleep. We need to get Logan, tonight"

"Cam don't call Shawn."

"Why? he can help. We need to call him." He states

"He has Jordyn tonight."

"Amber we need his help! Logan is in danger!" He says, sternly.

"Cameron he's probably asleep, she's probably asleep, and what do you expect him to do with her, just leave her there?! Ps parenting doesn't really work that way. Then again I guess you wouldn't know that." I don't even realize what I'm saying until it's too late.

"I know I haven't been there for all of her life. I fucking know that. I think about that every time I see her. But that's because you didn't care enough to tell me about her for two years. I missed her first steps, her first word, everything, because you didn't tell me. So don't even try to blame that on me"

"Cam what did you expect me to do, text you?! Like 'hey i know you moved halfway across the country but I figured I'd let you know you're in charge of another human being's life'. I yell

"You knew before I left! You could've told me in person, to my face, before I left! And maybe that information would've kept me from leaving. But you were selfish and kept it to yourself" he screams

"I was selfish? You don't have any fucking clue how difficult it was to stand there, and watch you just leave, knowing that in less than a year, I was going to be a parent and that there was an actual person inside of me, right at that moment. And i was going to have to raise her into a good, smart, perfect person. And who better to do that than the queen of bad decisions. I didn't want you to leave but I didn't tell you because you were leaving! You were already stressed out and I didn't want to make it worse! Neither of us were ready to be parents! We were fifteen years old Cameron and I didn't want to burden you with the responsibility of a child if I didn't have to!" I'm not even thinking about what I'm saying to him, not thinking about how much what I'm saying probably hurts, I'm just saying it. It's like word vomit.

Cam's face is red and I know he's angry and hurt and I feel awful.

"Fuck you, Amber. That wasn't your decision to make" he says slowly, I feel like crying but I try my best to hold it together, try my best to pretend like those words have no affect on me.

He turns around and just leaves, walking right out the front door and I can't do it anymore, I burst into tears.

What did I just do

I sit there crying for who knows how long.

Cam's gone, Logan's gone... Everyone is gone and I don't know what to do.

I call Jack (g) and see if he could come over, 1 because I don't want to be alone and 2 because I want to show him what we found about the hospital, 3 because I think I need someone here to stop me from doing something stupid.

He shows up In under ten minutes.

"Amber" he calls

"Hi.." I say quietly.

"Hey so what'd you..." He stops when he sees my face

"Amber have you been crying? Where's Cam?" He asks

"He left.." I say, still crying, "we got into a fight and he just left. I said some really bad things to him, jack. I don't think he'll ever forgive me for what I said"

"Amber he loves you, so much, I'm sure it's not as bad as it seems. What happened?"

"I was angry and upset about Logan being gone and I took it out on him and said some really awful things, jack, I really screwed this one up. He's been gone for almost three hours and I don't know what to do. I don't know where he is or if he even has any intention of coming back. Cam left and Logan's missing and.." He wraps his arms around me and I cry into his shoulder.

"I really screwed up, Jack" I cry even harder.

"Hey, I don't know what happened between you two earlier, but I know you'll get through it, you always do. Think about how much you two have gone through. And let me just say that I have never seen a guy look at their girlfriend the way cam looks at you. I've never seen two people so in love until I met you. You two have been through so much and have always made it through"

"Yeah but this is different. I mean we've definitely had our fights, but it's never gotten so bad to the point where I was so shitty to him that he couldn't even stand to be in the same building as me. I fucked up and I wouldn't be surprised if when cam walked out that door he never decides to come back. Jack I told him that he didn't know how to be a parent because he wasn't around for the first couple years of Logan's life even though I'm the reason he wasn't around. I blamed him for so much that he didn't deserve to be blamed for. He's been amazing and I've just been a bitch. It's probably best for him to never come back because he could find a new beautiful girlfriend and start a new family and do amazing things. I was probably just holding him back anyways. He deserves so much better than me. He could have a beautiful wife and an amazing family. He deserves more than a slut that can't even give him a big family."

"Amber what do you mean can't give him a big family?" He asks

"Um, we thought I was pregnant again.. So I took a test and it - it came out negative. But then my period was late and I thought maybe the test was wrong, so I went to the doctor and.. I'm not pregnant, but they didn't just tell me that I'm not pregnant, they told me that I never will be again, that it's just not gonna happen." I cry even harder

"wait then how did you have Logan, or get pregnant with the twins?"

"I-I don't know. They said it was a miracle that it happened at all but there's only like a 2 out of 100% chance of me ever getting pregnant again. It's just not gonna happen for me, besides Logan. But for all we know Logan might not even be alive anymore" I don't remember the last time I've cried so much.

"Amber I am so sorry" he says softly "why didn't you tell us sooner?"

"I haven't even told, Cameron. I don't know how to. Jack I don't know what to do"