Life With Him

Chapter 65

Amber's point of view.

I don't think I'll ever get used to this feeling. Without realization, I find myself playing with the shiny new wedding band, twisting it around and around on my ring finger. 

There's been a smile plastered on my face for the last month. I might even be smiling in my sleep. I just can't believe this is real, it still feels like I'm dreaming, like one day I'm going to snap back into reality and realize that this was too good to be true. I'm married to the most amazing man I've ever met, I have a beautiful five year daughter, and another little one on the way, and a solid group of friends who are more like family that I wouldn't change for the world.

It was a nice day so Cam and I decided to take Logan to the park that is in walking distance from our house.

I get Logan dressed while Cam is supposed to be putting Hailiee's leash on but honestly he's probably just playing with her.

Once we're ready, we all leave, making our way to the small park that is always at least almost empty.

We let Hailiee run around the small area since it's fenced in all around, and Logan goes straight for the slides.

As Cam and I sit on a nearby bench, I can't help but try to remember the last time I felt like this- nothing but pure, genuine happiness, no worries, no fears, no angers... I couldn't remember.

"I have an ultrasound tomorrow," I say, suddenly thinking about the little boy or girl inside of me, "do you want to come?" I already know the answer.

"Of course I do," he says, "I wouldn't miss it for the world, plus you're my wife, I think it's my responsibility to be there." I smile.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to hearing you call me that." I tell him, the grin never straying from my face.

"I'm so not ready for Logan to start school tomorrow," I blurt out, watching our happy little girl running around and playing.

"Neither am I, it's gonna be so weird not having her around during the day. But pretty soon we will have another little guy to keep us busy while she's at school."

"Do you the think the baby is a boy or a girl?" He asks, curiously.
"A boy," I state, "I don't know why, I can just feel it, but I guess we will find out tomorrow" I'm about four months now so we should be able to know the sex tomorrow.

The rest of the night was super unproductive, Logan was playing with toys until we finally put her bed. Afterwards cam and I were basically just sprawled in the couch doing nothing. The Tv was on but it was mostly just background noise. We both eventually fell asleep on the couch.

The next morning was hectic. I was getting Logan ready for school but I was also trying my best not to have a mental breakdown. My babygirl is starting school today. Maybe I only feel like this because school was pretty damn awful for me, maybe it's just me being irrational, maybe both. All I know is that it took everything in me to not cry as I watched her step up into the bus.

She's only ever been watched by family or close friends and now we're basically just putting her in the hands of a total stranger. Why are we even doing this? It's not like you actually learn anything in kindergarten! What if something happens to her and we're not there? What if-

"Amber! Stop." My thoughts were cut off by cams voice and I quickly realize that those thoughts weren't just in my head.

"I know you're worried but she's going to be fine. I promise. Cmon we should start to head out for the appointment." He says. I nod my head and follow him out to the car.

We show up at the office and are waiting in the waiting room for a good twenty minutes before my name finally gets called.

The doctor does a quick ultrasound and asks us if we would like to know the sex. Of course I eagerly nod my head yes as I feel cam take my hand in his. This is really happening.. with Logan, I was by myself, and having cam here this time, and knowing that everything is actually going to be okay this time is one of the best feelings every.

"Congratulations, you're having a little boy"

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry

It's been literally months

And I come back with this shit chapter

I get it if you wanna give up on this and leave