Generations's (Spin Off/ Book FOUR)

Doubles

Kali:

I sat up quickly, fully dressed in bed and quickly moved away from Dean, trying to get into the bathroom before bursting into tears, holding my stomach with how badly the pain was from my nightmare. My fangs were out, my eyes a weird pinkish colour as they tried to both fill with blood and go silver for a vision as I fought them both. "Stop! Stop it, stop it, stop it!" 

Locking the door quickly, I dug through my bag, finding the small load of Haldol in a pot and took three of them, closing my eyes until the room stopped spinning. But when I opened my eyes and looked back into the mirror, my reflection may have gone back to normal, there was just the little problem of my brothers form standing behind me. "Get out of my head!" I cried at him, throwing the soap bottle at him, but there was nothing there. "Please, please, please, I don't want this, I just... Normal, let me be normal again... Castiel, I love you, but I need you to leave me alone..."

"You need to stop this. The Haldol won't always save you, you know. You're no better than him, your father." He told me as I curled into a ball in bathroom floor, sobbing. "He was weak, he kept taking these drugs, anything and everything just to be the best. You're even weaker, because you try and be the worst, to hide from it all."

"Hiding is what I know. I can't run, not like my family." I told him, losing control of my ability, ice starting to form on the floor around me, spreading out. "Please, please... Stop this, brother..."

Then there was a knock on the door, and on instinct I froze time, getting to my feet and poured scalding water onto the floor, thawing the ice as Cas kept watching me. Then I dried it as best as I could and unfroze time, opening the door to look at Sammy. "Hey, sorry. Bad dinner last night."

He raised his eyebrows at me. "You ate salad last night, and we ate it too. Why's the floor wet?"

"Oh, um, slipped when I was washing my face. Why, why are you up so early, Sammy?"

"I heard you, Khalilah." Shit... "You're not as stable as you make out either, are you?"

Gripping the wash bag in my hand tighter, I just pushed past him. "I'm fine, Sam. Been through worse than this. Just focus on getting yourself better."

Then I got back into bed with Dean as he was starting to wake up, and cuddled into him, feeling so safe now that I was with him again. "Hey, baby."

"Hey." I smiled, kissing him softly, laughing as he tried to turn away. "Honey, I've dealt with your morning breath for a very long time now. I don't care."

His arms tightened around me. "You were up pretty early."

"Yeah, needed the bathroom. We should probably get up properly, we need breakfast. I can make pancakes..." Dean's face lit up, but made no sign of moving. "We should really get up, Bobby could need some help downstairs."

"I just want to look at you, and wonder what I did to deserve you." I tried to hide my face then, feeling like he deserved someone who could manage to go a day without being haunted by her dead Angel brother. "Hey, hey, it's OK, baby... It's alright, I know you're halfway to checking out yourself, but just know, I am here for you, I want to be here for you for as long as I can be."

I didn't deserve him... Oh, Dean... "I love you. I'm sorry, I'm sorry that I'm such a piece of crap, and that I'm going crazy when we need to focus on Sammy, and the Eternals, the Leviathan. I don't know how to do this, or how to be what you need, or how to even be myself..."

Dean hugged me tighter as I started to cry, kissing my hair and just holding me. "This isn't your fault. You were forced into this, and you deserve a lot better than this. Hell, we both do. Best just put on a brave face and start fighting again. Another day, and another battle in the war, yeah? I love you, Khalilah, so much."