Love is a Ruthless Game (Taylor Squared)

Chapter 8

*****TRIGGER WARNING*****

Please please don't read this chapter if you feel that reading about cutting will trigger you into doing something you will regret, then please skip to chapter 9. I'd rather you all be safe than get a few more reads.

Chapter 8

For the first time in a long time, I felt safe.

Maybe it was Taylor's calming presence or the fact that he was a total sweetheart despite his strength but whatever it was, I liked it and I liked him. I looked over at him, eyebrows furrowed as he navigated through the heavy LA traffic. I smiled peacefully to myself as I sat back, this guy was something else.

"Taylor? We're here."

 I woke with a start and yawned, "Already?" I stretched my arms out before unbuckling and hopping out of the car. He chuckled before following me into the house. I could feel his stare, and it made me feel slightly uncomfortable but also very happy. "What?" I rolled my eyes at him. 

"Nothing, you're just adorable. Want to stay for lunch? I can make some mean boxed macaroni 'n' cheese!" 

Not exactly the response I was looking for. How about beautiful? Or gorgeous? Is this just a friendship, or does it have the potential for more? I know I wouldn't date me if I were him. I'm damaged goods. 

"No, I'd better get going, I have a lot to do." I said, sort of coldly. 

"Oh, okay, well let me walk you out at least." He seemed disappointed, gazing at me with those huge puppy dog eyes. 

"That's not necessary, I've inconvenienced you enough as it is." I walked quickly towards the exit but not as quickly as Taylor. 

He slid in between me and the door. "Hold on, are you mad at me?"

 I grabbed for the doorknob, "Of course not, you're my hero. I just want to get to Selena's, is that a crime?" 

He folded his arms, looking quite unconvinced. "If that's your story." 

"It is. Now move out of my way, Lautner." I tried for the knob again but Taylor thwarted my attempt yet again. 

"Enough. You're not leaving until you tell me why you're mad at me." Fear shivered through me as I looked over Taylor's muscular physique. He could definitely make good on his promise of not letting me leave. 

"Oh god. Oh I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to be threatening." Taylor unfolded his thick arms but hesitated to approach me. 

He's so disgusted that he won't even touch me. "I-I need to go." I reached for the knob yet again, this time uncontested by the handsome actor. 

"Taylor, please!" I heard the echo of his pleading words after the slam of the door.

 I ran out to my car, sobbing. I always messed everything up. I looked at the little pocket knife that I always kept in my purse, a despair rising from my very soul.

"Taylor?" The door of my car opened. "Oh god, Taylor! Where's the phone? Oh god!" 

I opened my eyes slightly, an athletic male form was joined by a smaller womanly figure. They were both blurry and I wondered why I couldn't see. Why am I so weak? Why do I have warm water all over me? Oh shit, did I pee myself? Haven't done that since 2nd grade. 

"Oh good, she's alive!" The girl said. 

Is that you, Sel? 

"She's trying to talk. Shh, Taylor, save your strength." That was definitely Taylor Lautner's high tone. 

Why is he here? And why do my wrists hurt so much? 

I felt the sensation of movement as I dangled helplessly from the strong, tan arms of my Taylor. 

He's not yours though, he never will be. He dates girls like Selena, girls who have it all together. 

That new, but familiar, sense of despair and longing hit me. I then realized why my wrists hurt so much, and why I couldn't move. How could I have let some well-meaning comments drive me to this?

As I was strapped into the gurney, I contemplated why I had done this.

Then I realized I would've kept on going if I hadn't passed out.

And then I realized that this wasn't about Taylor at all.

Later that day

I sat up in the hospital bed, eager to finally leave. "Please, Dad, it's been hours. I can't stand being here!" My dad looked sympathetically at me but shrugged in defeat when my mother arrived. 

"You can't go anywhere before the psychiatrist takes a look-see." 

I rolled my eyes. "I know that what I did was a mistake." I held up my heavily bandaged wrists, 

"But I need to recover in a place where I feel safe, like Selena's." 

My mother raised her eyebrows. "There is no way in hell that you aren't coming home. And by home, I mean your real home. Your home with Joe. He already has everything ready, and he's taken time off to help you with the recovery process." 

Fear and anger coursed through me, causing one of the many machines I was hooked onto to start beeping like crazy.

 A nurse sprinted in, shoving my mother aside. "Get out of the way!" The nurse started doing one of her nurse things as I felt pure fear take over my body. 

"Just breathe, Taylor, breathe." The nurse put her hand on my shoulder, effectively calming me enough to actually take a breath. She then handed me a glass of water, which I downed in a matter of seconds. 

"Mr. and Mrs. Swift. Your daughter has suffered intense trauma, shown by this anxiety attack she just experienced. We are putting her on anxiety medication, as well as scheduling her for regular check-ups with our on-call psychiatrist in order to keep this unfortunate incident from happening again." The nurse glared sternly at my parents as if it was their fault that I was lying here with bandaged wrists. "Mrs. Swift, something that you said triggered this panic attack. What was it?" The nurse, Nurse Gail, continued to interrogate my mother. 

"I can't imagine how anything I said would be upsetting, Nurse." My mother said exasperatedly. 

"Very well. However, Taylor will need a stress-free environment in which to recover. The young man who found her has already insisted upon her staying with him. Should I discharge you to him, Miss Swift?" 

He probably feels crappy about me doing it in his driveway. I shouldn't inconvenience him. But how could it be worse than returning to Joe? Nothing was worse than that.

"My daughter won't be staying with some-" 

"Okay, tell Taylor that I'll be down as soon as I'm out of discharge." I cut in before my mother caused more damage. 

"Of course." With that, the nurse walked briskly out of my hospital room.

We sat in silence as he drove home from the hospital, the only sounds from when I occasionally rubbed my bandages self-consciously. 

"You don't have to be embarrassed, you know." Taylor broke the silence. 

"Excuse me?" I rubbed the bandages again. 

"You seem sort of embarrassed but you don't have to be. This whole thing made me realize something crazy." He ran his hand through his hair, "I love you." 

I was silent. 

"I love you, and I know that it might be impossible to love someone so soon after meeting them but I can't help it. I love you." He laughed nervously. "And not just as a friend, Taylor. I truly, deeply love you." He gave another nervous little laugh. "Please say something." He pleaded.

"I love you too."