it was black ◎ psycho pass

~Chapter 32~

anyone still like psycho pass out of curiosity ?

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For the last time, I don't make the muffins. I eat them. And for that reason I switched the watch off behind my back. If she knew how bad it had become- I would be dead. She would ship me off to Mexico again to learn how to control my anger, or take me to a girl scout group.

"I already hacked into the hospital's files, so don't try and hide your watch."

"Oh." I almost choked. Mother was the expert hacker in the family, and by 'the family', I mean just me and her.

I watched in anticipation. Mother was reapplying her makeup causally. I rolled my eyes. I'm not annoyed about her being here, I'm annoyed that we hadn't seen each other in a year and she still ignored me. "How are-"

"Let's just cut to the chase, Zara." Her blush snapped shut. "Your Crime Coefficient has still become worse after all this, after everything we've done."

I scoffed.

"I know you don't want to.." She paused. "Have more surgery-"

"That is correct." My lips barely moved, but answered instantaneously. I remember every operation that I've ever had in my life, and they haven't been the most pleasant experiences.

The constant flickering between consciousness and unconsciousness. The sickening sound of my struggles against the metal operating table. The burning pain of knifes being dug anywhere, everywhere, in my body. Worst of all, the sight of my mother sitting at the side and watching it all happen.

"I hope you can- forgive me!" Mother starting choking up. She probably carries an onion or tear drops in her bag for occasions like this. I looked up at her pristine face, too doll-like to be human.

whatever

"Sure..." I almost spat. Her face switched between sadness and happiness so fluidly, she could fool anyone. The next second I was surrounded by her nauseating perfume, breathing in the laundry detergent of her blazer. It was itchy. And uncomfortable. Was this a.. hug?

"Woa~!" I tried peeling her off, like one of those stickers that can never come off cleanly and you're just left with paper. Mother started holding on really tightly, and it reminded me of a serpent strangling its prey.

"THANK YOU ZARA! I LOVE YOU~!"My hand slowly went to pat her back. I decided against it. She couldn't even stop the formalities even with me; it was always Zara, never dear, or darling, or any term of endearment. I could feel wet, meaningless tears drip onto my back. It felt disgusting.

"I know they're fake tears, so please stop."

With a sigh she pulled away, unfazed. Even though her mascara had smudged minutely, Mother began reapplying all her makeup.

"Because," She paused, stretching her eyelid. "You don't want to have surgery, you need to be around someone who is a member of the MWPSB."

"Wh-"

"24/7, all year."

"What do you mean?!" I asked, offended.

"So, I've enlisted the help of one of them! Isn't that great, Zara?"

"Who." My blunt reply didn't faze her, in fact, it egged her on.

"Akane!"

It took me a while to process it, but when I did- I protested violently.

"No. I'm not staying with Akane!" I shouted. Mother turned to me and sighed.

"It's the only way, Zara." She looked at me with disappointment, then whipped around.

"Hey! I won't!"

But nobody heard. How could she just leave? I refuse to stay with Akane! Why can't I stay with Mels? She's a doctor!

"Mother!" I shouted after her. My feet started moving on their own. I wanted to tell her about the spikes in my Crime Coefficient. That something else was wrong- not just me. Maybe that would convince her.

"What?!" Mother snapped, eyes cold and hard.

"I-I think my problem.. it's not just me." I stuttered. Suddenly my heart was thumping like wildfire.

"What do you mean?" She replied quickly.

"My watch can say any Crime Coefficient and then there's a prick in my spine and it changes to that Crime Coefficient!" My words gushed out. It really wasn't monumental to me, this new revelation, but if it was an excuse to not be treated like a psycho then I would take it.

Huh? Did her face turn white? I can't tell- she's wearing too much foundation. At once her phone was already calling somebody about something that was more important than me. Oh look- she wasn't taking it seriously.

"Mother?" I called after her, slightly irritated. "Isn't it great? I might not have a problem after all!"

I really was happy. At least, I think I was happy. It was the best news in years, thinking that maybe I was normal- like everyone else, maybe. Was she even listening?

"Listen to me. I need you to listen very carefully. Whatever trick you're pulling- stop it now." Mother hurriedly spoke into her phone.

Trick? Oh now she's made me angry. She thinks this is a trick?

"What are you.. I don't care, fix-"

My fingers gripped tighter and tighter around flesh, hopefully leaving bruises that everyone could see. Mother hurriedly stuffed her phone in her bag and laughed a little. Her laughs slowly turned to gasps and foundation could no longer conceal the rosy tint to her cheeks. By this point it had been a few minutes. And yet she was still holding on. Still scrabbling at my fingers, head lashing back against the wall. When would she give up? At least just faint so I can leave. I let out a shaky sigh and held on tighter.

"Aren't you happy for me?" I almost whimpered. When she didn't reply, I slammed her against the wall and watched her squawk in lack of breath. It was entertaining. Watching her smile a little was entertaining too, she can still smile after-

Did I mention she was a black belt in judo too?

~END~