A Single Year in the Life of a Teenager (Editing)

Week 39 (Unedited)

02/19/17Hey people! Today I didn't do much, I just had  rehearsal. We did choreography for another song and then we went over  the other song. It took awhile but it wasn't too hard. On my way home I  got McDonald's since our practice was a bit longer than usual. It was  pretty good, but I had to wait until I got home to eat it since there  weren't any spots. I spent the rest of my day rereading the  one webcomic I read. It's called Rain and I love it so much. I didn't  finish retreading it but I convinced myself that I needed to sleep since  I have an opportunities fair for my scholarship in the morning.  Hopefully it won't be too bad. I already have my summer planned, or for  the most part. We'll see how that works. But for now, I should probably  sleep. Goodnight people!02/20/17Hey  people! Today was pretty boring but still good. I went to that summer  opportunities fair, and it wasn't as boring as I though. Well, it was  until my friends showed up. Then it was a lot easier to go through since  the focus wasn't all on me. After the fair, I went with Skylar to  McDonald's since she was hungry. We talked about lots of things, some  about college and careers. I think I helped Roxana decide on which of  her passions she wanted to actually pursue. I'm very happy that I got to  talk to her.I  went home after. It took awhile to get home from downtown but I didn't  mind. I did my homework (or anything that I couldn't put off). I wasn't  really feeling motivated today. I don't know why I just wasn't.  Hopefully I'll be good by tomorrow. My research paper is due Thursday so  I have to work on it. Now  I just have to be sure of myself. I've always wanted to be a marine  biologist. And that hasn't changed but because of how many people have  changed their minds during high school (and even college) about what  they want to do. I've been so sure for so long, it makes me concerned  that this isn't what I actually want to do. My mom said that no matter  what she'll be happy as long as I am. I just hope I am happy. Anyways,  I should go to bed soon. I do have a short week for school but still I  know that it's going to be a busy week. Goodnight people!02/21/17Hey  people! Today was pretty normal. School wasn't too exciting, but it was  nice knowing that I only had four days of school this week. After  school I met with the group for a bit, and we went through the piece. I  had to leave so I wasn't super late for ACT prep. The class itself was  fine. We've started working on essays, so it's become more boring. It's  okay though. At least it's preparing me for the test. Plus I didn't have  to pay for it. I  didn't go to Taekwondo because I had to Skype the group piece since  only some of us had it completely down. It was actually fun and we still  got stuff done. It's getting late and I need sleep do I will go sleep. Goodnight people!02/22/17Hey  people! Today was pretty good. It was a bit stressful, but not  unexpectedly. I finished my research paper which was my biggest  achievement of today. During school was pretty good and finished the  homework that I have to have done. I have LTAB tomorrow so I'm missing a  bunch of my classes. After  school the group went through the poem several times and I think I  finally feel comfortable with it with the rest of the group. We thought  we might Skype to go over again, but that didn't happen. I'm not too  worried though. At least I felt confident about it. We'll practice in  the morning too because we have a late start. I haven't done  much else today, but LTAB has been worrying me since I haven't been  there before. But I'm sure it'll be fine. I should go to bed though.  Goodnight people!02/23/17Hey  people! Today was super amazing and super tiring. I got to school and  the group didn't get to practice because some had to take tests and I  didn't know where the other people were. I went to English like normal  which was fine since I didn't do anything. I then went to a meeting for  my scholarship so I missed math. Then I went to study hall and did some  of my homework. Then instead of going to lunch I got ready for LTAB. We   left awhile later and the group practiced a couple more times on the  bus. The bus ride was pretty fun and actually pretty short. We  got there, and I'm not going to say it was magical the second we got  there. There was a bit of confusion and some stressful moment but we got  to our bout (the competition is called a bout) all in one piece. The  group piece goes last, so I was nervous for most of the time. It was a  very supportive environment though so I knew I would be fine. Every time  someone would stumble or obviously get messed up everyone would start  cheering the person on, no matter who they were or what team they were  on. It was pretty inspiring honestly. Our  turn came and I thought we did pretty well. One person forgot a line  and it was a little awkward but we got through it and I picked it up. We  also get to compete Saturday so we'll get to do it again and get it  completely right that time. We  got back to school after a long and fun bus ride. I honestly just felt  like going home but I still had a lot more to do. I went to ACT prep an  hour late but I had already told the teacher and she was perfectly fine  with it. I was pretty good with what we were doing since it was all math  so I didn't have to think too hard. Free  that I got a ride home from Ashley. Then I ate dinner and headed back  out to go tutor Vanessa. She's doing really well which is always nice to  hear. Especially because we hadn't been able to meet for two weeks. The  session itself was pretty simple and easy to go through. After  that I went to Taekwondo. My instructor and I went through everything  I'm doing for my fourth degree testing. It wasn't a very rigorous or  hard class, and I got to leave early since I was the only one there.  Plus I still had a bunch of math homework. I got home and I  finally realized how much math homework I had. I had a mini melt down  because I have no clue how to do the math. And the test is Monday. I  just have to hope I can figure it out tomorrow. Or during the weekend. I  hope. I really need to sleep so goodnight people!02/24/17Hey  people! Today wasn't too stressful. I don't have much homework left  since I finished most of it during school. I also wrote a poem about my  sexuality. It's I guess a pride poem, with a couple puns. I guess I'll  post it here:Acing LifeI don't like to bragBut I ace so much of my life, Even my sexualityAs in, asexualityAs in, not feeling sexual attraction Yet most people's reaction is So you're a plant?And as hysterical as that joke isIt isn't funny.Then people move to disprove that I exist even when I stand before them Just because I like guys romantically Suddenly I'm basically straight which negates My sexuality. It denies what I am sayingIncreasing the heteronormative.Just because I can be invisible Doesn't mean I want to beI want to be heard and understood Not told that it's good to be unseen So no one can be mean to me for something That no one can control.When they tell me that it's better to not be seen It sounds like they don't want to see me either Because they are all connected by their sexual attraction to someone but I'm otherbecause I don't feel that towards anyone. People say we're insignificant because we make up only 1% of the populationBut how can anyone say that 70 million people are unimportant?People say that it's just a phaseOr because I'm a girl and I've been taught to not like sexOr because I just haven't seen the right personOr because I haven't been with them yetYet I've always been this wayYet women can be just as sexual as menYet I've seen hundreds of people without feeling a thingYet they won't be able to change me because I'm not broken. I'm just me. People say to keep it to myself who I am Just because they don't want to have to admit that I am validPeople say that I shouldn't flaunt my sexuality Just because they aren't used to seeing people who are different Be happy for being different. I won't- can't change who I am. So while everyone keeps asking me if I'm sure I am who I know amI'll keep acing life, and always ace my sexuality.I wrote it during study hall, after I finished the homework that I knew I could finish. Or that I felt like doing. I  actually didn't have a poetry meeting today which is kind of nice since  my second LTAB bout is tomorrow morning. I'm pretty excited for it  honestly. I'm going to wear the dress I got myself and hopefully I'll  feel really happy and good. But tomorrow is going to busy too because  after that I have demo practice and after that I'm going to hang out  with my friends. I just hope this makes my tension ease instead of  increased. I'm not going to be doing much else today, I'll  probably write a bit since I don't know what else to do. But since I  don't think anything else will happen I guess I'll say goodnight people!02/25/17Hey  people! Today was super stressful but there was also fun. Overall it  was a good day but thee were quite a few moments of bad stuff too. In  the morning I drove to school so that I could get to LTAB. Since my  persona in the poem is "sexy" I decided to wear the dress I got from Hot  Topic and do my makeup. Everyone said they liked my dress and I guess  it was nice to be complimented. Not that I don't feel good about myself  because I'm amazing, but yeah. The weirdest part was when I was at my  school for some reason a bunch of the football team was there. Most of  them were juniors so I knew them. Well technically the weird part was  that they were kinda staring at me. They didn't say or do anything, but  they usually don't look at me. It was really weird to me. LTAB was  really fun. Once we got there I already felt pretty good and I was very  excited to hear some poetry and to compete. Our bout went pretty well,  and there was one guy who recited his poem and it had so many  astrological metaphors. It was a love poem and it was so good. We  competed and got third place as a team which was pretty good. I had lots  of fun there but then I had to go to demo team. Demo  practice was good, I got a bit stressed out there or made myself  stressed. My instructor was stressed too and not able to be very patient  because everyone was acting a bit crazy. I realized that I hadn't eaten  anything when I started getting a headache. After practice while  everyone was leaving a different weird thing happened. Kind of the  Broken gave me his fries. He usually isn't that nice so it shocked me  but I was very grateful for them. I don't know why he did it but I was  happy to have some food. Then  I went to pick up Samm which took longer than expected but it was okay.  I still had a headache but eventually was got to Splash's house. I got  some Advil and we waited for Ashley to show up which wasn't too much  later. Sadly Mara got sick so she couldn't come. We watched a movie,  played games, and ate pizza and ice cream. I felt kinda bleh but it was  still fun. I dropped Samm off and then went home. Today was a  very fun day but it didn't help my stress levels that much. I don't  know why it didn't but I still feel very stressed from life. Like I  haven't actually had a day to relax. I didn't say anything to my friends  because I didn't want to bring them down but I probably would have  actually felt better if I had just gone home. Well tomorrow I just need  to do homework so I guess I'll try and relax. Goodnight people!