letters to hazel

Two

-Hazel-

"I can't believe he showed up", my manager, Juniper said when we got in the car, "He really dared to show his face at your book signing. I'm shocked."

"I knew he would come", I said calmly, buckeling Jade into her car seat in the back. I gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before getting into the passenger seat.

"I know you've been saying that but I'm still shocked. He is looking really good."

"I know", I said smiling and throwing my head back. I knew I would always be attracted to Harry, no matter what. He was a beautiful and charming man and no matter how old he got he looked the same. He had the same light in his eyes and charming smile.

"I think he is really cute, Mom", Jade said and I smiled at her. It was cute that she said that but I dreaded the thought of my almost six year old daughter thinking he was cute. There was nothing wrong with it at all but I just saw so much of myself in her. I would never be able to live with myself if something like what happened with Harry and I happened with my daughter. I would never want to her to be attracted to older like I was or fall for someone like I did with Harry.

"Do you think he is going to try and contact you again", Juniper asked and I thought about it. I knew him well and I felt like he would but I didn't want to get my hopes up. If I put the idea that he would out into the world, I would be subconsciously convinced that he would and that things would be somewhat similar to the way they used to be. I knew that nothing would be like it used to be and that our lives were so different now but a little piece of my teenage self inside me wanted it to be the same.

"Who knows", I said and she nodded.

"Well I hope he does", she said and I didn't respond. My mind wandered off to how Harry spoke to me and how he looked exactly the same but different. It was a dream come true to see him right in front of me, talking, and acting almost like nothing had changed. It was an image straight out of a dream to have him in my life again. Even if the interaction with him was only for a few minutes it meant more to me than anyone could imagine.

I arrived home with Jade in a short matter of minutes after the book signing and it felt good. I hated the pressure of being so directly in the public like that and I was happy to spend time at home. Harry had once told me that I wouldn't like fame and I never expected him to right about it. Jade ran off to her room to go play with her toys and I went straight to the kitchen. I made myself a quick snack and sat on the couch.

It was oddly silent around my house all the time and I hated it. I could hear Jade playing with her Barbies and initiating fake conversation between them so it wasn't completely silent but that isn't what I meant. I was lonely hear. My daughter was the light of my life and brought me more joy than anything but I wanted someone to love me like that. I craved a man in my life that would be able to create the picture perfect image of a family and home that I wanted. I had so much emptiness in my life just because that was all that I wanted.

I had dated around since Harry, especially when I started going to school again and in my adult life but none of it was right. I had always been so serious in relationships and none of the guys I dated wanted anything like that. I wanted to be married and maybe have more kids but no one saw that in their futures. I tried dating guys around my age after what happened with Harry but none of them were willing to give me the life fulfillment that Harry gave me when I was sixteen. Even when I dated other older men close to his age they were intimidated by children or only wanted sex.

I picked up my phone seeing texts from my man of the hour, Adam. I had been talking to Adam for a few months and he seemed like a nice guy. I really liked him right now but I didn't know if he was serious about the life that I lead. I didn't know if he envisioned himself in the role of father and husband at the age he was. But, he was fun and I liked talking to him. He really was interested in my life and things I had to say. He treated me well and it was a breathe of fresh air after things that have happened before this.

Adam: How was the signing?

Hazel: Amazing! So many people showed up!

Adam: Harry?

Hazel: How did you know?

Adam: It's all over the news that he showed up and that you two held conversation with each other. It seems like a big deal to the press but I don't really get it.

I didn't text Adam back and I immediately turned on the TV to see what people were saying. I wanted to know if they knew I gave him my number of if people were spreading rumors about what really happened with Harry showing up. I never cared before if the media said the right or wrong things about me but when it came down to who I was with Harry it was something that mattered to me.

He mattered to me.

She Will Be Loved// Maroon 5
Long Way Down// One Direction

Sorry that this chapter is soooo short but I had no idea what to really write for Hazel and I didn't want to drag it out. I just wanted to establish her life, her feelings, and someone that means a lot to her and is relevant in her life. I know its really early on in the fanfic but I am really excited about where things are going and I am enjoy all that I am writing so I hope you all enjoy reading it:)