letters to hazel

fifteen

-Harry's P.O.V-

I had decided to leave everything for a coupe of days. I had turned off my phone and I had just rented a hotel. I had thought about going home to visit my mom but the weather is cold there and I felt like being in the cold would make me feel worse. I had been writing music, writing about my feelings, and watching movies for days on end. I had let my family, a few friends, and Piper know I was staying just so they wouldn't worry but other than that I was completely by myself.

I had to do it, I had to look inside myself to deal with all of the things I had been going through. My relationship with Piper and all of my thoughts towards Hazel. I almost felt like I had like I was in a love triangle between the two and I had to pick what I wanted. It wasn't really the case, the two women were completely separate but it was the way I saw it.

Piper was my present. She was the only person who still saw me as a human being after all that happened, she saw the potential in me and still cared for me. She helped me get out of a dark place and I think that I did the same thing for her. We had built a home and a lives for ourselves. I didn't want to just ditch her because I had connections with the girl from my past. I felt really comfortable with her and that scared me a bit. I wanted a relationship that was more exciting then what I had and I had to admit that I was worried. I had come to terms with not being able to have children with her, but now that I was thinking of Jade being mine I couldn't shake the feeling that I felt like I was meant to be a father. 

Hazel was the past and after all that happened I felt like it needed to stay that way. In reality, if we were to be dating we couldn't be very public about it because of the reactions of the public. We had so much history, history that I loved but would it even be the same? She had grown so much. I see that in the way that she wrote things and I see that in the way she talked to me, I see it in the way she is a parent. I had changed to and I had to wonder if we were in a relationship, if we would fall back into the same people we were or be better versions of ourselves. 

As I was checking out of the hotel, I still had a lot on my mind but I felt like I had more direction. I knew where I was headed in terms of my relationship with. I had turned on my phone and had expected to have nothing, no one wanted to get in contact with me like they used to. 

I was shocked to see the missed calls and texts I had from both, Piper and Hazel, but I decided to call Hazel back first. I know that the way Piper and I had last left off should have been more important but Hazel never called. Hazel had no real reason to call me any other time and I was curious to here from her. I felt bad for leaving her with no response for two days but I had to hope she would understand.

"Hello", I said into the phone after almost four rings, there was no response, "Hello?"

"Nice to hear from you", she said, kind of coldly, "Everything okay?"

"I guess so. I was staying in a hotel for a few days an-"

"Is everything okay? If you needed a place to stay you could have let me know, I have spare rooms", she said, her tone going from cold to concerned. 

"No, no. I just needed to get away for a few days, things are kind of off in my relationship and I had a lot to really think about."

"Do you want to talk about it?", she asked. 

I wanted to talk about it but I didn't want to push it. There was a boundary I know I didn't want to cross with her. We had barely just started talking again and I didn't want to ruin anything that we could have. I had to go into this with some ounce of seriousness. 

"No I think I got it all figured it out now", I lied and decided to change the topic, " Why did you call?"

"Wanted to talk to you, see how things were since I hadn't heard from you in a while", she was stalling, " Talk about the DNA test. Do you think we could meet up, I would rather talk to you about it in person, it's a lot."

"Yeah, when are you free?", I asked and the two of us made plans for the next day and had said our goodbyes. I wanted to believe that she wanted the DNA test but in reality I didn't know what to expect from her as a parent. In the way she cared for me and the way she spoke, she was the same girl that I had fallen in love with. As soon as our phone call had ended, I had began calling Piper.

"You okay?", she said nervously before I could even say my hello's. She knew this was something I would do to understand my feelings more so I appreciated her concern.

"Yeah I'm fine. Got a lot done actually", I added, "It really was for the best."

"I'm glad, I'm glad but I really think we need to talk about what happened, seriously."

I knew she was right and our conversation ended as I made my way closer to our shared home. It made me nervous just based off the tone of her voice, she usually wasn't so stern and strict in her word.

Hello! I am currently trying to get into the swing of updating stories and I have 7 DRAFTS written for this story specifically and I am really excited about a lot of them and the development! Please let me know what you guys think and what you are looking forward to in the story!