Fifty Reasons to Stay (Book Three)

Chapter Forty Four- Eventful

(Donnie's POV)
I woke up the morning of the wedding on the bedroom floor with no memory of how I got there. Leo was gone and I was completely alone in the house. Though before he left he did have the decency to tuck a pillow under my head and drape a blanket across me. Guess he was too tired to pick me up if I had fallen.

I planned on drinking a bit that night, but I had to remind myself of the consequences of doing so. I could forget the whole event if I drank too much.

Rubbing my eyes and warding off a headache, I rolled onto my side, staring at the big clock on the wall. It was almost two. I was going to be late for everything if I didn't get up soon.

Right on schedule, Thomas rung the bell. I had to drag myself downstairs to answer the door. I knew I looked terrible and he'd never seen me look like this before, but I didn't have time to be embarrassed about it.

"You are going to be late if you don't hurry." Tom said, stepping into the house. "Leo picked up Andy this morning and your little girl is getting her hair fixed right now, Mikey took her. Go take a shower, I'll iron your shirt."

I nodded tiredly and did just that.

When I got downstairs, my suit was ironed and ready to go and a plate of French toast rested on the kitchen table along with a glass of orange juice.
"Eat up." He was already in his dress pants but still wore a loose teeshirt. He noticed how quiet I was being and decided to speak up about it. "You know, I wouldn't shut up on my wedding day. I was so excited and bouncing off the walls." Tom sat down in front of me. "So I know something's wrong. What is it?"

I bit my lip as hard as I could to prevent from having a breakdown. Not today. I chose not to respond.
"Are you having second thoughts? You don't have to do this, you know..." He rested his hand over mine.

"Have to do what???" Our conversation was interrupted by Mikey's cheerful tone as he entered my house with Teresa in his arms. "Hey guys!" Mikey noticed the solemnity. "What's going on?"

"Donnie's thinking of backing out," Tom looked at me pitifully. "Poor thing."

"I am not backing out. It's just.." I sighed quietly while staring down at the table. "I have to read him something that I wrote and I'm terrified I'm going to mess up and ruin it." I sucked in a sharp breath. Tears were already threatening to fall. "My words mess up like before when I'm overly nervous or upset. And I'm scared I'll confuse the words and he'll laugh at me.."

"Hon, Leo doesn't even laugh at the most comedic movies of all time. I don't think he'll laugh at you." Mikey put a hand on my shoulder. "You got this, Dee. No crying. I won't allow it! You two have come so far in the past year, especially you... you deserve to celebrate a little bit. Forget what everyone else says."

"I just want to get this over with.." I mumbled with the sudden urge to throw up. "Be right back."

I locked myself in the bathroom, trying not to throw up or pass out or both. How the hell did I ever think I could do this? That was it, I had to call it off. I was sick, we'd try again next year. Right. I grabbed my phone and dialed Leo's number, leaning my head against the door. I had to tell him.
"Kinda busy, is everything okay?" There was a lot of noise in the background which made it almost impossible to hear Leo's voice.

"No, everything is bad. I feel sick. I don't think I can do it." Squeezing my eyes shut, I took in a few shaky breaths. Great, I couldn't think clearly anymore.
"Do you want me to come over?" Leo's voice was concerned. I didn't want to cause him to worry... he was probably just as nervous as me.
"No.. bad luck. I'll.. I'll be okay. I-I just need to lay down." I stood up again, unlocking the door. I didn't open it. I'm not gonna back out.
"Yeah, you do that. We've still got plenty of time. Relax.. I'll take care of everything else."