Fifty Reasons to Stay (Book Three)

Chapter Forty Four, Part Two

(Leo's POV)

Well, this is the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me.
I just had to remember to smile and act like Donnie was just being dramatic. Of course, I knew better.
I climbed the stairs of the lighthouse, trying not to breathe in too much of the dust. "Donnie, it's not too late to go back. Nobody will care."

"Just go away...." He mumbled, clearly at the very top. Great. So many stairs to climb.

"So what, you want me to go out there and tell everyone to go home? Come on.. we're two words away from finishing this ceremony. Please come down." I was getting tired of all the steps.

"No, I'm going to kill myself," his tone wasn't exactly serious, but still, I hated hearing those words. "I humiliated you."

"So what? It's not as bad as the time you threw up all over the governor's flower bed." I sat on the staircase, loosening my tie. "People will get over it."

"I won't. I failed."

"You can't fail a marriage ceremony, dear. Tell me, why can't you just come down here and finish what we started?"
"Cause I don't deserve it."

I reached the top of the steps silently, watching him gaze out the window. "You're right. You deserve so much better than me or anything that's down there." I faked a terribly heartbroken look. "I'm so sorry, Donnie. I– I guess I'll just go home now.." I headed back down a few stairs.

"Leo.. wait." I heard the floorboards above me creak. "I don't deserve better. You've been a saint to me for the past year." They stopped. "And it's time I repaid you. So... I'm going to finish this. But just for you. Or.. you could leave me. Right now. That'd be okay."

"Really? It wouldn't be. I'll be waiting on that alter, young man. Don't take too long!"

A few minutes later, the whole fiasco had been forgotten, and though Donnie's cheeks were tear stained, he said his parts with confidence and said yes. Maybe it was all just a panic attack. Maybe he had second thoughts. Maybe I'll never know.

And then we kissed. I didn't have time to think about it until it was going on. Wow. We did it. We made it. This year could've gone so much differently........
Let's say I decided not to go back to Portland that morning, and he had succeeded in killing himself. The police would've called me with the news. Visited the hospital and cried over his pale body, apologizing repeatedly for all I failed to do. I would've had to plan the funeral. See his dead corpse in the coffin, watch him get buried in the ground, never to see him again. Visit his grave every now and then and try to raise my kids the best I could as a single dad, his face slowly becoming a distant memory in my mind...

And yet there I was with my lips pressed against his, one year later. He was going to be okay, so was I. We were going to have a better life now, I was certain. Everything was going to be alright. For just a second, there was nobody else in the world but him and I.

Donnie pulled back slightly, smiling through the faint trail of tears running down his cheeks, and he hugged me tight. "You're right... you're right and I love you so much.."
~~
(Narrator's POV)
Directly after the ceremony ended, the pair went down the beach a bit while other people mingled in the distance. Donnie rested in Leo's lap, laying his head on his partner's shoulder. This would be a good time to read what he had wrote, while his heart calmed down after such a passionate kiss in front of so many people. "I have to read something for you.." Well, he already messed up that sentence. "I mean.. I wrote something. For you, and uh.. I want to.. you know.."

"Go ahead.." Leo nuzzled Donnie's cheek, closing his eyes briefly. "I'm listening." He expected a few brief sentences being that Donnie couldn't read or write well. He expected it to be generic and sweet.