Why Him?

The plan

     I make it through the day and I begin to walk home. While I'm walking home I decide to call Josh.  he doesn't answer me though. A few minutes later he text me.

J- whats up?

M- well I tried to catch up with yesterday after you left Topanga's but I lost you. Something seemed wrong.

J- oh. Nothings wrong.

M- you sure?

J- yeah. I gotta go. I'll talk to you later.

     Something is not right. I know something's not right. I get home and lay on couch. I fall asleep for a couple of hours but am awakened by a knock at the door. I get up slowly, starting to feel a little nauseous. I open up the door and see Josh standing there. "Josh? What are you doing here?" he sighs. "I need to talk to you." I nod. "I need to talk to you too." I motion for him to come in. I close the door and go to walk over to the couch but suddenly I feel worse then I did. I take off running to the bathroom and end up puking. Josh came after me and held my hair back. After I had absolutely nothing left in me to puke, Josh walks me back to the couch. I sit down still feeling awful. Josh sits down next to me and I grab his hand. "Josh I don't know whats up with you but I have one request." he squeezes my hand. "Anything." I look over at him. "Be here for me. My mom is constantly at work. My friends are never going to treat me the same. And Riley has a life of her own and I would never want to take that away from her. But I need someone. I need you." he wraps his arm around me. "I'm here for. Always. Whatever you need whenever you need it. You are my top propriety Maya." I smile and lay my head on his shoulder. After that I fell asleep. When I woke up Josh was still laying with me But he is still asleep. I move very slowly in hopes that I won't wake him. I stand up and walk to the kitchen and grab an apple. I snatch my phone off the counter and see I have 5 messages. Two from Riley asking how I was. One from my mom telling me that she wouldn't be home until late that night. And two from Lucas.

L- hey I feel really bad about last night. Can we talk?

L- please Maya.

He sent those an hour ago but I decide to respond anyways.

M- what do you want?

Surprisingly he texts back instantly.

L- I think we should talk in person. Can we meet at Topanga's?

M- I guess. I'll meet you there in about 15 minutes.

L- k see you there.

Knowing that Topanga's is not far from my house I return to the couch for a few more minutes until Josh wakes up. He leaves and I toss my shoes on and grab my jacket. When I get down to Topanga's Lucas is already there waiting for me. I take a seat next to him. "You've got 5 minutes." he sighs. "I'm so sorry about last night. We should have never talked about you like that. Things are going to be different now yes but that doesn't mean that your not still our friend. You don't deserve to be treated like that. Its just everything is still settling with us. Its a shock to think about you being pregnant and then going to be a mother." I interrupt. "Being a mother is an option." he sits back in his chair. "What do you mean?" I sigh. "I still have the option to give the baby up for adoption. I can choose a couple and it can be their child." he wrinkles his brow. "You want to give the baby up?" I shrug. "I'm leaning towards that yeah." he shakes his head. "I don't know how you could do that." I sit up. "Easy. I pick a couple. Give birth to the kid. Give the kid to the couple. Then move on with my life." he turns his body so that he's facing me. "But wouldn't it haunt you knowing that somewhere out there was your child living with and being raised by other people? Having that child wonder constantly, why his parents gave him/her up? It wouldn't bother you?" tears were forming in eyes. "I never really thought about that......... It doesn't matter. I haven't even had the chance to talk to Josh about it yet. And until then I won't make any decisions." I stand up and Lucas does too. "We good?" I smile. "Yes huckleberry, we're good." I give him a quick hug and then head back home.