Why Him?

Conversations

     I pull away after a moment and he seems happier then ever. I on the other hand am more confused then ever. I really like Josh and I'm having his kid. I thought it would be simple enough. Him and I date while we raise our child. But no my heart apparently wants to mess with me. I don't know exactly what I feel for Lucas. Its just different. But it's definitely not the same thing I feel for Josh. What I really need to do is talk to Josh. I walk home and drop off my backpack then I head over to Josh's apartment. When I get there he surprisingly opens the door. "What Maya?" I fiddle with my thumbs. "Can we talk?" "We just did." he goes to close the door but I push back open. "Please Josh. Give me the chance to explain. I deserve much." he sighs. "Fine." he opens the door and him and I take a seat on his couch. "When it happened it was barely anything. And I told him that he never should have done that. I hoped he could put his crush behind him. And I didn't tell you right away because it wasn't anything big and I didn't want you to be upset over nothing. But then he did it again the other night. After it happened again I was planning on telling you. But Riley beat me to it. I never meant to hurt you by keeping it to myself. I kept to myself trying to avoid hurting you. Josh I really like you. You know that right?" he nods. "Yes Maya. I know that. But what about him?" my brow wrinkles. "Lucas? What about him?" "Do you like him?" I shrug. "I don't know. If I do it's definitely different from the way I like you." he sighs. "Maya I care about you a lot. And because of me your having to grow up pretty fast. I think for now we need to take a break. And during that break if you want to date other guys then date them. I'm still gonna be in your life because I'm not leaving you while your pregnant with our kid. But I'm not gonna see you as much. I'll still go with you to doctor appointments and such but that's about it." he squeezes my hand. "Do me a favor Maya. Follow your heart. If its leading you somewhere else right now that's okay. And if in the end it finds its way back to me then it'll be great." I smile. "Your amazing. Thank you Josh for yet another amazing conversation. And thank you for putting me first. No ones ever done that before." he smiles. "There's a first time for everything." I give him a hug then I head back home.