Why Him?

The 16th week

Its been a few weeks and even though I've been hanging around Josh almost everyday, I haven't brought up anything about figuring out a plan. I know I need to but I just haven't. I'm worried we aren't going to be on the same page. Even after talking to Lucas I'm still leaning towards giving the baby up for adoption. But what if Josh doesn't want that? What if he wants to keep the baby? I don't know if I could be a mother. The thought of a human being growing inside of me scares me enough but the thought of being a mother scares me even more. I don't think I could be a good mother. And this child deserves good parents. A good place to live. And a good life. Something I know that I would fail to give to him/her. It's a Saturday and I have doctors appointment in about an hour, but Riley invites me to come with her to the mall. We go into a few shops when something catches Riley's eye. "Oooo Maya we must go in there!" I laugh at her enthusiasm. "Ok riles we can go in there. But after this I have to leave or else I'll be late for my doctors appointment." She snatches my hand and drags me around the store. She picks out about ten things then decides to go to a dressing room. As I stand outside her dressing room I notice a red dress hanging and can't help but fall in love. "Hey riles I'm gonna try something in real quick." I step into the dressing room next door to rileys and try on the dress. I look in the mirror and smile at the way it looks. "Riley check out this dre-" I stop talking as soon as I look back in the mirror.
I have been wearing certain clothing in order to hide the baby bump for a while now that I forgot I had one. Standing from the side I finally see it. Tears form in my eyes but I don't know if their happy or sad. I'm snapped out of my thoughts when Riley speaks. "Check what out peaches?" I wipe away my tears and then quickly change back. "Nothing." I say as I step out of the dressing room. I check the time on my phone. "Shoot! I gotta go or I'm going to be late. I'll talk to you later Riley." I give her a quick hug and then leave the store. Josh was picking me up from the mall so that we could arrive there together. He of course was already there waiting on me. We get to the doctors office and after a few moments of waiting my name is called. Both Josh and I go inside. He has been coming with me to my doctors appointments for a while now. Which I was okay with because I can't stand the looks I get when I'm there, but when Josh is with me it makes it easier.

I hop up on the table and answer the doctors questions then she asks me to lie back on the table. She puts the cold gel on my stomach and then moves the monitor around. She looks back at me. "Would you like to know the sex of the baby?" My brow wrinkles. "You can already know that?" She smiles. "Yes. Would you like to know? Or would you like me to keep it to myself?" I look back at Josh and he gives me a look that says 'Your choice'. I look back st the doctor. "Sure we'll know." She moves it around again for a moment. "Congratulations. It looks like you'll be having a little baby......."