Love, hope and sorrow Book 2 - sequel to Let the rest of the life begin!

Chapter 22: Papa's past

Chapter 22

-Willow-

I'm in the bathroom on the hovercraft.

I pull up my shirt and look at my belly.

I have small abs. Nothing that appears too much, like guys abs, no but still like you see that they are there. It's after all the years of training with Hunter and Felix and sometime with Mama or Papa, I'm very physically fit.

However, between my navel and my ribs is the scar from where the knife pierced through me.

I stare at the scar while anxiety fills my whole body. I know it shouldn't, I mean, sure I have a scar, but I'm alive. I'm alive. So I shouldn't have anxiety over the scar.

And besides it's really not that big. It's not something you think about if you don't know it's there. And it's not that people comes forward and starts pulling up my shirt either, so what the hell do I have anxiety for?

I get really angry at myself. Why do I have anxiety?

I got the scar because I got a knife in my belly, and I got the knife in my belly to save Ryes life.

And just like that, all my anxiety and anger disappears, when I think of the innocent, sweet and cute blonde twelve year old boy who is my little brother.

I smile and pull my shirt down again. Or I can't really pull it down that much since it's a crop top.

I look at myself in the mirror. I'm wearing a light blue crop top with a pair of tight white jeans and a very thin beige unbuttoned cardigan that ends just above my butt.

Is this the reason why guys see me as an object rather than a person? Do I look like a slut? I guess I do. Oh my god. I look like a slut. Oh no.

One single tear flows down from my right eye but I wipe it quickly away with my thumb and take a deep calming breath.

I walk out of the bathroom and see Rye lean on Mamas arm and Mama is lying in Papas arms. Both sleeping.

Papa smiles at me when he sees me.

I sit down in the chair beside Papa with a loud sigh, that wasn't meant to come out of my mouth.

"What is it Princess?" Papa asks anxiously, looking at me. "Still thinking about the Games?"

"No, I don't at the moment", I say truthfully and frown. How can I not think about the Games? I'm thinking about that I look like a slut. I'm I selfish? Oh I get a headache.

When Papa sees that a frown in my face, he frown as well.

"What is it sweetheart?" He asks.

I think about it for a second. Should I talk to Papa about this. But I mean, he's my Papa and it might not be so good to talk about these things with him.

I'm starting to freeze and I pull the cardigan a little tighter around me.

I've always been able to talk about everything with Papa, maybe I can talk about this with him too.

"Papa ... Do I look ... I mean ... Do I look like ... Like a slut?" I ask.

"Willow! Where did you get that from? Of course you don't, that's the stupidest thing I've heard", Papa says and looks a bit angrily at me.

"Than how come does almost every guy see me as an object?" I ask and lean back in the chair.

"Because they're guys, sweetie", Papa says. "Guys are immature and do that to all the beautiful girls, and that's about every girl, because every girl is beautiful in her own way".

"Were you like that?" I ask.

"No I don't think so, I mean yeah I watched the girls and so, I mean I'm still I guy after all, but I've always threated girls as equals", Papa says.

I raise an eyebrow.

"But you said that all the guys are immature", I say.

Papa looks like he doesn't know if he should continue.

"Eh ... I had to mature a lot faster than other guys in my age when I was a teenager", Papa sighs. "And of course there are exceptions. Just look at Hunter and Felix, they're mature".

Well that's true. They never look at me like I'm an object, no other girl either for that matter. But I can't think of that right now. Something else blocks my mind. And it's what Papa just said, about that he 'had' to mature faster. Why? It's like he was forced or something.

"How come?" I ask and Papa knows what I'm refering to and frowns again.

"Uh ... My mother forced me to grow up faster", he says, unsure whether he really should be saying anything at all.

I don't know why, but I get this cold feeling sneaking through my body.

"I had two older brothers", Papa said.

What? He had? Why am I only hearing about this now?

"You had?"

"Yeah, but they and my parents died in the bombing over District 12, but you'll read about it next year in school. Anyway so my mother had two sons, and she wanted a daughter, but she got me instead", Papa explains. "She wasn't happy about that, so she ... She kind of ... She became violent with me. Everyday. And she forced me to grow up and mature quickly, perhaps to get rid of me faster".

My eyes widened with in horror. I mentally curse myself when I'm feeling tears flow from my eyes.

"Papa..." I start but he interrupts me.

"Shh, sweetie, it's okay", Papa says soothing, and wipe my tears with his big thumb. "I mean sure, I was sad about that my mother didn't love me, but now I have three ladies in my life that I love and I hope they love me, so my life ended up being perfect for me".

And it's right know I decide to, once a day, tell Papa how much he means to me.

"I love you Papa, so much, you mean so, so much to me, you're the world's best Papa", I say and put my arms around his neck and hug him over Mama.

"I love you too, Princess", Papa said and kissing the top of my head.

Grandpa Haymitch comes to us.

"The pilot says that we have to put on the belts, we'll be landing in three minutes", he says and sits in the chair in front of me.

Aunt Annie comes and sits down next to him while Papa wakes up Mama and Rye.

My legs starts to shake. They do this only when I get nervous.

We are home in two minutes now. Oh I'm so nervous. I'll see everyone again. When I left District 12, I was quite sure that I wouldn't be coming back and be able to meet them again. But I'm going to. And now I remember what I said to Felix in live broadcast. What if he doesn't feel the same.

Oh my god! This is so hard.

"Willow!"

Rye snaps me back to reality when he snaps his fingers in front of my face.

"Huh?"

"We've landed", he says.

I feel butterflies in my belly. I find it hard to swallow because of the big lump I have in my throat.

"Okay", I say hoarsely.

"What's up with you?" Rye asking with raised eyebrows.

"Felix", I say.

"Oh", Rye said understandable because he knows exactly what I mean. "But come on now".

I nod and hook my arm around Ryes.

We walk and step out of the hovercraft together.

~~~~~*****~~~~~*****~~~~

Hey you guys, this was the last chapter of the day in this story, I hope you liked this, so please tell me what you thought.

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-Josephine xx