101 Ways to Ask Lily Evans Out

#13

"I need to get under her skin, really get her to notice me!" James said, pacing around his dorm.

"You need to get back in the game," Sirius muttered, lounging on his bed reading his latest issue of Playwitch. "You've spent so long going after Evans you haven't had a decent lay in months!"

"Hey - what if I dated one of her friends?"

"Bad idea, they all know you fancy her and would never go along with it. They wouldn't do that to each other...I've already asked Remus about that idea."

James rolled his eyes and continued pacing. He stopped, his eyes lighting up. "I've got it! Darcy Collins!"

Sirius sat up, smirking. "By Merlin I think he's got it Remy!"

"Who's Darcy Collins?" Peter asked.

"Darcy Collins," Remus said as a matter of factly, "is Lily's longtime enemy. She's in our year and a Ravenclaw and happens to be the only person ever to beat out Lily during O.W.L's. She also stole her boyfriend last year and spread a nasty rumor about her ."

"She sounds like a prude," Sirius said.

"I'm not looking to hookup with her. I'm just looking for someone who will catch Lily's attention. I mean, she's pretty and all, but Lily's the one for me."

"Since when is she Lily?"

Remus rolled his eyes, "Since she was born, idiot."

"Moony is getting sassy, I think it's his time of the month." 

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James used the map and found Darcy in the courtyard with a few of her friends. James ran a hand through his hair and stuffed the map back into his robes. The other three Marauders stood at the edge watching eagerly. James swaggered over to the group of four, Darcy sitting in the middle. She was a halfblood with long wavy brown hair and hazel eyes, like his own.

"Darcy," James said. The three girls surrounding her immediately shushed and all stared at him. "I was wondering if you'd fancy going out with me."

The girls broke into a hushed whisper and a few squeals. Darcy shushed them and smiled at James. "Yes."

James smiled, "Brilliant! Say, I'll sit with you at dinner tonight?" Darcy nodded, her cheeks turning bright red. James walked off, back towards the Marauders and smirked. Sirius clapped his back and Peter jumped in front to get all the details. Remus just trailed behind shaking his head.

At dinner, James did as said and sat at the Ravenclaw table beside Darcy and her friends. Lots of people stared at him oddly, including McGonagall. James draped his arm around Darcy's shoulder and listened to her and her friends talk about the last Potions class.

Marlene noticed all the whispers about a certain Potter and scoped it out for herself. She spotted James not to far down and her jaw dropped. Beside her a group of fifth years were gossiping about it. "Did you hear about James?" "No, what?" "He's dating someone! And it's not Evans." "Shh she's right there...well who is it?" "Darcy Collins." "The Ravenclaw?" "Yes. He asked her today after lunch! I think he's over Evans now." "Well how long did she expect him to last? He's a boy - they have needs." "Too bad he didn't ask any of us to fill them."

Marlene rolled her eyes, and moved closer to Hestia. "So Potter's got himself a new lady."

Lily didn't look up, but her ears were open to listen. "Is that why he's at the Ravenclaw table?" Alice asked. All four looked to see Darcy leaning against him while he ate his steak. "She's...nice?"

"She's an awful person," Lily mumbled.

"Are you jealous he's dating someone?" Marlene asked smirking.

"No. I'm happy he's found someone new to pester. But her...she's the definition of skank."

"LILY! What's got your panties in a twist?"

"She stole my boyfriend, if you don't remember. He cheated on me with her...she's a slut and I hate her. Honestly, he was my first real boyfriend and she just looked at me like I was helpless and she didn't even care that he broke my heart. I hope James breaks hers."

"James?"

"Potter. I said Potter."

"No I think you said James..."

"No. I said Potter." She stabbed at her chicken and chewed it angrily. Marlene could almost see steam coming from her ears.

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It had been a week and a half since James asked out Darcy. They were slowly becoming Hogwarts's newest power couple. There wasn't a student, ghost, teacher, or painting that didn't know of them. Someone had decided to call them Jarcy. She was hexed a few minutes later by Lily.

James and Darcy were sitting in the library working on Herbology when Sirius and Remus walked in. "Here's the happy couple, Moony!" Sirius said. "Hello Darcy, lovely to see you again. Say, could we steal Prongsy for a moment?"

"Who am I to stand in the way of James and his best mates?" 

James kissed her cheek and followed the two towards to back of the library near the restricted section.

"Evan's is jealous," Sirius said.

"Really!" James exclaimed.

"Yes, she hexed a girl."

"You think she's really jealous of me and Darcy?"

"Yes, but James I still don't think it's right of you to use the girl," Remus said.

"Speak of the devil," Sirius pointed across the way to Lily who was sitting at a table alone writing a letter. "Don't be an idiot."

"That's like asking the devil to be nice."

James rolled his eyes and walked over to Lily, sitting across from her. "Hello Evans. You know what a little doggie told me?" She raised an eyebrow. "That you're jealous of Darcy. If you wanted to go out with me, all you needed was to say yes. I mean, the offers still there."

"You're a pig, Potter. If you think I'd go out with you just because you're dating that...bat! You're wrong. I'd rather go out with Black!"

"Did someone say my name?" Sirius asked, standing behind Lily's chair. "Hey Evans I'd love to go out with you too, but you're not really my type."