I sat next to Ashton in the van which compacted the rest of 5SOS. We were on our way to the arena so they can begin rehearsing and get situated with how they would perform since they've yet to be at this arena.
Ashton was currently keeking, and I sat on the floor just to make sure I wasnt recorded. I didnt want anyone to see me, and when Ashton replayed it for me, I was glad I wasnt present. I sat back in my seat as he uploaded it.
"Brinley?" Calum asked as he turned in his chair to me. "Ya?" I asked, taking my eyes off of the window.
"Thank you for being here with us." Calum said gently, even though I knew he was going to say something else. I knew he wanted to ask about my eating habits.
That's what everyone always wanted to ask.
"Just say it." I told him, tired of the way people were afraid to ask about my issues. They all looked at me, Calum obviously nervous.
"W-Why do you do what you do?.." Calum asked. I looked at him directly in the eyes.
"Because Calum, I wasnt good enough ok. I fucked up a solo that meant so much to my parents were disappointed, my father hit me and my best friend committed suicide and I have no clue as no why. I was left with nothing and isolated myself. My hunger diminished and I blamed myself for it all. I never feel good enough no matter how hard I tried. My father still hits me every now and then and I cut alot. This has been going on for almost 2 years. Are you guys happy?" I said harshly as my emotions began building up.
I noticed we were here and I moved the door back and ran out the van and into the arena. I knew I had no clue as to where I was suppose to go.
I saw people working and asked for their dressing room and ran into there, into the bathroom and shut the door, locking it.
Tears flowed down my face, and I was kind of thankful that Ashton told me not to wear makeup.
I sat on the floor, with my back against the door, I looked at the designs on the wallpaper. I breathed heavily and played with the small rip at the top of my jeans where the pocket seam was.
There was a soft knock on the door, I ignored it and covered my mouth to suppress my heaving from the tears.
"Brin.." a voice spoke through the door.
"Boys, come on. Time to check out the place and rehearse." A man spoke, a sigh was heard from the other side of the door before footsteps faded from it.
I stood up and looked at my reflection in the slightly dirty mirror, turning the faucet on to splash some water on my face to relieve my eyes from their puffiness.
I stepped out of the bathroom and saw Calum sitting on the couch, my breath caught in my lungs.
"I-Im so" I cut him off, "It is fine Calum.. I shouldnt have snapped I just get mad when people act as though Im so delicate and they cant ask me things." I sighed while running my fingers through my hair. He looked at me and got up, taking long strides towards me and wrapping me in a strong hug.
"Calum.. Oh am I interrupting?" Ashton's voice ran through my ears, I pulled away and nodded towards Calum to leave.
He left the room, leaving Ashton. We both literally took the same amount of steps before embracing each other, he stumbled backwards a bit before regaining balance and pulling my body closer to his own.
His lips grazed my ear as he whispered to me, his warm breath hitting my neck. "Brin, Im sorry we got you to say all that.. We had no idea.." he spoke softly.
