Sitting in the coffee shop, cleaning trays, restocking treats, serving meals. The smells made me sick though I stuck through it and continued doing what I needed to. My mother's words constantly playing a role in the back of my mind.
I looked at my reflection in the shiny class, the bruises have gone away, my cuts have healed along with my scars. My bones are still prominent and my appetite has grown slightly but I wont eat more than a few fruit and some bread.
Its been 3 weeks since the boys left, and we havent heard anything from them actually. And its quite upsetting to me. To know that neither me nor Riley or Anna have heard a word. Did they give up on me?
I set down the items in hand and walked upstairs to take a short break. Going into my room I felt sick, nausea erupting inside of my throat but I kept it down.
I walked to the mirror that I stand in front of every day and examine myself. My TOPSHOP MOTO black ripped Jamie jeans clung to my legs, knowing that I had to get a 00 tailored. My black/grey acid-wash Ramones muscle tee was a bit too big as my arms were too tiny. The Tacie lace crochet cardigan from Brandy Melville slightly hid the bones that protruded. Sperry Adeline booties were my go to shoes that I've been wearing more than I need to and suited me well.
"Brin?" Riley's voice fell into my silent bedroom. "Yes?" I managed to get out of my closed up throat. She appeared behind me, examining herself like I had been to myself not that long ago. Her eyes met my own in the mirror, "They're coming back." she spoke softly.
Confusingly, I looked at her. "No they're not. I bet they gave up on me." I honestly said as my hair was pulled away from my face and placed into a messy braid. Riley shook her head towards me, "They're going on a United States tour. New York is one of the stops." My heart stopped in that moment and I knew that I could reunite with the boys. But realization hit me.
They're no longer that small group that we knew. They're bigger now than before if they have they're own tour. "I need some air."
I ran out the bedroom and downstairs, out into the street. Their picture was on multiple New York signs, I could hear girls talking about them. It was driving me insane. I ran my fingers into my braid, tugging on the strands slightly, I walked to the right, towards the graveyard. My mouth was numb and my brain wasnt processing anything correctly that it took me a second or so to process the correct way to Channing.
I found her grave finally and sat down, putting my head in my hands. Taking deep breathes was something I needed to do as I felt my fingers frost. My phone vibrated in my back pocket and I took it out, looking at the contact name.
Luke
I hesitated so much before answering it, "Brinley.." Luke's voice automatically filled the lonely graveyard and I took a dee breath. "Hi Luke.." I whispered.
I knew he wanted to say something but it took him a few minutes until he got the courage to speak once more. "We're going to be there in 3 days... And the first thing we're going to do is go see you.. All of us.."
My chest clenched and I lost all oxygen in my lungs for a split second, "Oh."
"Come on Brinley, I know that you're still shakey and you havent answered any of Ashton's calls.. But what are you going to do when we go over there? Acknowledge all of us but leave him to himself? Ignore him completely? Brinley you two were so in love. I literally have never seen a couple like you two and it hurts all of us that you're doing this to him.
We all love you but the least you could do is be friends with him. Ashton is a person as well and I need you to realize that." Luke said before he hung up.
