What I Believe -(Sequel to The Lives Of Harley and John Blake

Chapter 34: Picking Up The Broken Pieces

~Harley's POV~

So I am seeing a psychiatrist today and its too early in the morning so I got up put on my Paramore shirt, light blue skinny jeans and black converse I am not really into dressing girly much cause I am into the looks of emo & scene like tattoos, piercings, and colored hair I am just putting on makeup I am a bit nervous about going to the psychiatrist cause I don't know how it's gonna go cause I have mental illness but I have to do this for Jenny cause I don't wanna miss out on her anymore cause I can't let this illness effect my daughter so Nat has finished getting ready and so have I and we ate our breakfast Aunt Sierra came here early today just incase John aint awake when Jenny wakes up so she's just watching tv and she told me that everything is gonna be okay even though it doesn't feel like it but I have to do this. So we got in the car and drove off and it was just a little bit of silence and Nat holds my hand and looks at me.

"You okay babe?" said Nat 

"Im fine babe." I said

"I know your scared babe and it's okay but I am gonna be right with you okay?" said Nat 

"Okay I am just a bit nervous." I said

"Its gonna be fine babe you just gotta remember all of us including me care about you and doing this for Jenny." said Nat

"I know babe." I said 

"Baby I know it's gonna be hard but it will only be harder if you don't let them they are gonna help you but you need to let them babe."said Nat as he rubs my hands 

"I am just scared babe." I said

"Babe it's gonna be okay there just gonna help you with your illness babe." said Nat

As soon as we got to the place where I am gonna get help we got out of out car walked to the building, and I signed papers and we waited for 50 mins and I was on my phone listening to music and turned on Avril Lavigne's song Smile and I just sat down and Nat smiles at me & I tried to but he can tell I was faking a smile.

"Baby it's gonna be fine just there just gonna be talking." said Nat

"I know it's just it's my 1st time babe." I said

"You didn't see one while you & John was still in Orlando?" said Nat

"No but John tried to convince me but I just kept refusing." I said

"So you refused before?" said Nat

"Yeah but that was before we even met & way before Jenny was even born." I said

"It's gonna be fine babe but you just gotta remember you need to do this for yourself, me, Jenny, John and others cause we don't want to see you hurt yourself." said Nat

"What did I do that made me hurt myself?" I said

"Babe when you found out about your Dad you stopped eating for days and a week and you got sick and blacked out." said Nat

"I was depressed babe." I said

"Babe thats no reason to starve yourself you could have died from it cause it can kill you and I thought I was gonna lose you after you threw up & collapsed on the floor and blacked out the hospital even had to but the little iv needles to help you gain weight." said Nat

"I know babe I know." I said

"Babe you need let us help you cause we can't see you torture yourself cause I just don't want to see you like this." said Nat as he cries

"Im so sorry babe." I said as I began to cry

"Why you sorry for?" said Nat

"For not being a better wife & mother because of my illness." I said as I let a tear out