Secrets Of Spring | Shigatsu Wa Kimi No Uso ;; Watari Ryota |

Chapter Nineteen

Maika

After Kousei, more contestants take the stage and perform their pieces. To be honest, nothing special happened after Emi, Aiza, and Kousei's acts, but nonetheless, everyone did a fair job. Right before the contest ends, I slip out of the auditorium to stretch my legs and get some fresh air--sitting in the audience isn't my thing, it makes me feel uneasy after a while. I'd rather be on the stage but that's not possible anymore. I walk alone in the hall toward the exit when I find Kousei by himself and I run up to him.

"Kousei! You did great!" I cheer and he's taken aback.

"Uh, thanks..." He replies.

"I'm not just saying that because I'm your friend. You really did great," I reassure him genuinely.

As we talk, the judging panel passes by us and Kousei's gaze falls to the floor to avoid eye contact with them. "You boy, this contest is a place to show your very best; it is not a place for you to solve personal issues in public," The contest judge says. I frown and look to Kousei to see if he'll fight back, but he remains silent with his eyes away from them.

As they start to walk away, I speak up without thinking. "You're wrong,"

"What?" They all turn around in surprise, their faces plastered with shock.

"You're wrong. Music is a way to express feelings in a way we can't verbally. How do you think performers put so much soul into their work? Their feelings and problems are poured out into the music, giving life to the black notes on a white page, and those kinds of performers really deserve first place instead of those who play the score just because it said,"

The main judge frowns and then walks away without a word. Either I got through to him and he can't argue or he doesn't want to waste his breath on me. It doesn't matter either way, I've made my point and said what I needed to say.

"Woah... You didn't need to do that," Kousei says.

"I wanted to let them know though. It just bothers me when people think that contests are nothing but scoring people and ranking them. Art is art, you can express yourself however you want to,"

"So, do you think I didn't deserve first place when I was younger?"

"Of course not. You're different; you played for your mom and you were trained like that. When you're a kid, a lot of the time you don't know what you feel anyways. All we can do is just learn from the behaviors taught to us. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, it's just not genuine if everyone goes by the book all of the time, it makes us all the same like robots,"

• • •

The silence in the concert hall is interrupted by the echoes of my heels against the hardwood stage. I spin around, looking at the empty auditorium from various angles and the memory of my dad appears in my mind. This concert hall was the last place we went to together before he died but it's one of the places we loved going to, I have complicated feelings when it comes to visiting this place. I continue my way to the piano, every step of the way, remembering the dancers that were on this stage that day, unconsciously marking through their dance steps. Once I stand next to the piano, I stare at the white and black keys that shine as the spotlights hit them. I sit down on the stool and place my fingers on the keys as I play Yiruma, River Flows in You, my hands moving to the muscle memory. The soft gentle melody echoes throughout the auditorium as I softly press the keys. I haven't played the piano in so long, but now sitting here feels like all my problems have disappeared as each note is played.

As I slowly fade away with the song, coming to the end, a slow clap replaces the sound of the piano.

"That was nice," Aiza Takeshi compliments from the front row.

"Thanks," I respond flustered. I didn't think anyone was here. And for him of all people to hear me play? I feel like I'm not worthy for him to be an audience for me.

"So why'd you quit?" He inquires and walks up the side of the stage.

"It was never really my intention to keep on playing. I'm not a pianist like you. Nothing drives me to keep on playing, but dance does."

"So what drives you with dance?"

I look down and my hands slide off the keys. "My dad's dreams--my dreams. Ever since I was a little girl, I thought it was amazing to be a dancer. To move like that with your body, to seem weightless and glide on the stage. My dad and I both shared the same dream: for me to become a professional ballerina, but he died a while ago,"

"I'm sorry..." He replies. "Is that why you were playing Yiruma, River Flows in You?"

"Yeah, it was his favorite. This was the first song I learned for him when he passed away. I remember crying at the piano whenever I played the song," I stop myself before I keep on rambling. "Sorry, I'm talking too much,"

"No, it's fine," Aiza responds.

"Thanks for listening. I've never told anyone about this; not even my friends. They've never heard me play actually, I'm just known for dancing with them,"

We both leave the auditorium when a janitor tells us to get out and head home. Aiza's house isn't too far from mine so he walks me home, he also argues that it'd be impolite to let me walk alone when it's getting dark. We walk in silence the whole way.

Just before I open the gate to my house, I turn around and call Aiza out before he leaves. "Aiza!"

He stops and turns. "Yeah?"

"I didn't say this before, but congratulations on winning. Your performance was something else, I've never heard anything like it before. Hearing it in person made all the difference too,"

He nods. "Thanks, congrats to you too,"

I cock an eyebrow. "For what?"

"I read on the bulletin at Towa that you won their dance contest. Congrats on winning that, I wish I could've seen it in person like you saw my performance. You must be one heck of a dancer to place first,"

"Ah, thank you, Aiza. That means a lot coming from you," I thank him.

"Of course," He turns and waves with his back facing me. "Have fun in Italy, Akiyama Maika,"