Secrets Of Spring | Shigatsu Wa Kimi No Uso ;; Watari Ryota |

058

Watari

All I can think is why? Why did this have to happen? Of all people... Why Kaori? Why was I so blind to see what truly happened behind her facade?

As I walk into my dim room, I see Maika's closed curtains through my window. I sit down on my bed and bury my face into my hands. Tears stream down my cheeks and wet my face. Between sniffles, I get several pieces of tissue and wipe my eyes. 

My phone buzzes thirteen times, texts from girls asking if they want to go out since they don't know about Kaori passing. I ignore the messages and silence my phone. I stare at the background of my home screen and see the picture of the two of us when we were out together once.  

I exit my room and run out into the streets. The coldness hits me, I shiver since I'm still in my suit from the funeral but I keep running. I sprint down the road, my vision blurred by my tears. I don't know where I'll go, I just keep running, hoping to see Kaori at the end.

Once I stop, I wipe my eyes and hunch over to catch my breath. I look up to see where I am and the railroad tracks lie in front of me. I begin wandering around aimlessly. I reach my home again, but collapse in front of my house. I bring my knees to my chest, trying to keep warm and rub my hands together.

"Watari!!" I hear a voice yell. I turn to see Maika run out of her house and come to me. She's still in her funeral clothes like me without her jacket and she's barefoot. "Watari, what're you doing outside?! Come on, let's go in,"

Maika helps me up and brings me into her house and to her living room couch. She runs upstairs to get blankets for me as I take off my blazer. Maika comes back to me and wraps me in blankets. We both are silent and the only sound that can be heard is the furnace running to keep the interior warm. She leaves again to  go in the kitchen and comes back with two cups of hot chocolate.

"Here," She hands me the mug and I take it from her.

"Thanks." I respond and slowly drink.

"What were you doing out there?" Maika questions, putting on fuzzy socks and her house slippers to warm her feet since she ran outside barefoot.

"Nothing... Are you okay? You ran out there without a jacket.."

"I'm fine." She scooches closer to me and puts the back of her hand on my forehead.

"Jeez, you're freezing! Watari, you'll get sick if you do that in this weather!" Her eyes are filled with concern and care as I wrap my arms around her.

"I... I miss her.." I mumble.

She rubs the back of my head. "I know... We all do. Think of it this way, her suffering is over. She can finally be at peace now, and we have to be at peace with her death. She wouldn't want us to cry over her like this." Maika pulls out of the hug and weakly smiles. "Promise me that you'll stay strong for her. Okay?"

I nod and sniffle. I gaze at her face, finally realizing that her and Kaori are different in their appearance. Opposite in hair and eyes colors, Maika's eyes bigger than Kaori's, Kaori's face a bit slimmer. But the only thing I see is Maika's beauty, care, thoughtfulness and I can feel my heart rate increase.

I'm sorry Kaori,

But I guess I'm falling for you Maika.

♪ ♪ ♪

1:52 a.m. here and I'm still awake.... Why do I do this to myself.

Rachel✍