Tobias - after Allegiant ✔

21

When I wake up the next morning I keep my eyes closes for a bit. Something is lying next to me – or I lie next to something – and I have my arm draped around it. I open my eyes when in shock. The only thing I can see is blond hair. I recoil and fall of a bed higher than my own. I groan. I forgot about my broken ribs, but now they hurt pretty much so it's impossible to ignore it.
   
I get up slowly and take a closer look at the blonde girl. It looks like Tris. It is Tris and she's alive, because I don't go through her when I touch her. And it's not a dream, because if it was my ribs wouldn't hurt this much.
   
She moves and opens her eyes. Then I remember what happened yesterday.
   
"Tris," I say relieved.
   
"T...s." With an angry face she searches for letters. "T...s," she tries again.
   
It wasn't an angry face, I realize. It was a frustrated one.
   
"It's okay, Tris," I say, hoping that will calm her down. It doesn't. Her face contorts and she starts to cry.
   
I sit down on the edge of the bed and pull her into my lap. She grabs my shoulder and buries her face in my neck. I hold her and don't say anything until she's calm again.
   
"It's gonna be okay," I say. "Not now, maybe not even anytime soon, but you'll fight your way through this. Because that's who you are."
   
Tris kisses my collar bone and presses me even closer to her. Pain shoots through my ribs and I moan.
   
Tris leans back and looks at me, frowning.
   
"Car accident," I explain. "Broken ribs."
   
From the look on her face I can tell how sorry she is. But I don't want to see it – she has enough problems with her own condition.
   
"It's not that bad," I say quickly. "And you couldn't know, so I don't mind. Really."
   
She nods her head. I don't know what to make of that. I don't have time to ask, because Doctor Williams walks in.
   
"Good morning," he greets. I nod at him. "I have breakfast for the two of you."
   
"Oh, it's fine, really," I say. "I'm not hungry."
   
Tris jabs me between my ribs and John looks at me with an arched eyebrow.
   
"Ow," I say and I touch the spot Tris hit with her elbow. She may have not enough power to hit me hard, but she does know where to hit me.
   
"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day," says John. "Never in my life as a doctor have I seen a case in which someone got better by skipping meals. And by the looks of you I can see you have already missed enough."
   
"I'll get something later. I don't want to inconvenience you." Tris's elbow collides with my ribs again. "Ow! Tris, that hurt."
   
She looks at me and gestures at John with her head. I sigh.
   
"Thank you," I grumble. Tris looks satisfied.

+ + +

That we both got breakfast is a lie. Tris didn't get any more than a glass of water.
   
"She hasn't eaten anything in three years," John says when I ask him about it. "Her stomach can't handle more."
   
I nod and let that information sink in.
   
"And how long will it take for her to eat?"
   
"I really don't know. But that girl of yours is really strong, so don't worry about it. She will get better."
   
I nod again. I never doubted that.
   
"And when will she be able to talk again?"
   
"That question is even harder to answer, I'm sorry."
   
I look through the window next to the door. Tris sits on the bed with her hands at eyelevel. Concentrated she looks at hem. Her fingers tremble without pattern and without control.
   
"That tremble in her hands will most likely stay," he says next to me. "Maybe it gets less bad, but it won't disappear."
   
I don't mind that. But whether Tris thinks about that the same way is a whole different story. She'll find it frustrating, that for sure.
   
Tris now had her hands set on the bed in front of her. I can't see what's exactly happening. But I do know this:
   
Tris always want to do things by herself, but she won't be able to do that this time. That means I'll have to help her, something I've never really done before. I've always let her do things by herself, because I knew she didn't need and didn't want my help. It also means that she'll have to accept my help this time, something she has never really done before. We'll have to walk this road to repair together. And the earlier we both realize that, the earlier that trip can start.
   
And if it's up to me that trip can start.

+ + +

I spend most of the day in silence. My only company is Tris and she can't talk back anyway. The only way of communicating we know is making faces.
   
I suppose that's not entirely true. Movements of arms have occurred, too, but less often. Apparently it takes more effort. She extended her hand to me and I grabbed it.
   
I'm still holding it. Her fingers move non-stop. But apart from that, her hands feel familiar – small and warm and soft, softer than I can recall from my memories.
   
Around six John Williams comes with dinner. I'm sitting the whole day with Tris's hand in mine by that time.
   
"How's it going here?" he asks kindly.
   
"Fine," I answer. Like that wasn't already clear.
   
"Mister Eaton," he starts and I tense immediately by his tone. "When were you planning to go back to Chicago?"
   
"I wasn't planning anything," I say frowning. "Am I disturbing?"
   
"No, you're not," he answers quickly. "I just assumed you couldn't be missed for too long at work."
   
Tomorrow Johanna is back. If I don't show up she'll be asking questions. And I don't want to tell others about Tris already.
   
I look at Tris. She nods in understanding.
   
"I think I'll pass by tomorrow," I say.
   
Williams nods. "Then I'll make sure there'll be a truck available to you tomorrow."
   
"Thank you," I say.
   
He gives me a plate with a pile of food and helps Tris with drinking her water.
   
I stare at my plate. It is a typical Abnegation meal – peas and chicken and bread – but simultanously inappropriately much. I'll never be able to eat it all.
   
When Tris is done Williams walks away. Tris looks at me and forms a gun with her hand. With her other she pretends to be typing on a keyboard.
    
"Whether I still have the same job?" I ask while chewing. Tris nods. I swallow my food and say, "No. I'm the assistant of Johanna. She is the representative of Chicago."
   
Tris looks at me in surprise.
   
I just shrug. "I'm done with weapons. I'd rather make a difference without violence now."
   
Tris smiles and nods. She draws with shaking fingers a heart over my chest, like she did the whole day. I do the same, but then on her forehead, because I know how she would feel if I touched her chest. She looks at me and before I can do something she presses her lips to mine.

A/N - hi! How are my amazing readers doing? I can't believe I already have over 200 reads😱
Please tell me what you think about this chapter, or this whole story.
I don't have much time anymore to write :(. I have a job now, and school has been keeping me busy as well. Don't worry, tho. I already have written chapter 46, so I'll keep updating on regular basis.

Be brave & stay alive