Tobias - after Allegiant ✔

27

The days pass quickly. Now that Tris is in Millenium, I sleep in my own bed. Millenium hospital is very strict about the visiting hours. That doesn't keep me from going every day after work. Nobody ever said something about me being there every afternoon.

I've seen how Tris made progress by the day. I was there when she tried talking and I was there when she was staring in front of her, mad, completely ignoring me. The first time that that happened was one of the first days here. I came in, all happy, and she didn't say anything. She didn't even look at me. And that hurt.
After that it's happened several times, sometimes because she was frustrated because she couldn't manage to do something, sometimes for no apparent reason. Tris has never been the one with most temper.

But the air isn't as heavy around me anymore, making me feel like I'm floating. The sky is bluer, the road to my work shorter, the faces of the people around me happier. My apartment is cleaner, my sleep longer, my work less exhausting.

But most of all, the lives of me and my friends got purpose again. Zeke had hope for Uriah's return for a while, but he didn't come. I kept my distance during that days; I'm still the person who worked together with the people who set off the bomb that killed him, after all.

+ + +

I look at Johanna's face. She has her hair tied back, making her scar visible. I've been working for her for over two years; I don't even really notice it anymore, because I've seen it every day for so long. Her face is tensed with concentration.

"I never really thanked you," I say suddenly.

Johanna looks up.

"For keeping me alive," I add. "Thank you, Johanna, for keeping me alive. Without you Tris would've been without me now."

"Would Tris have been without you now," she repeats. "Not: without you I wouldn't have known she was still alive?"

"I'm not really thinking about myself."

"No, that's become very clear. Once a Stiff, always a Stiff." She laughs at me.

"That's what they're saying," I say laughing.

"How is she doing?" asks Johanna.

"She gets better every day."

"You're going to her after work, I assume?" I nod. "It's important she has someone who stays at her side the whole time. Please tell her I say hi, okay?"

"Of course."

"Go," she says, nodding at the door. "I'll shut everything down."

"Thank you, Johanna," I say.

I get my bag and walk to the car. The temperatures start to get higher, though it's still too cold for my liking. I hum a little on my way to the hospital.
Tris is sitting up straight on the bed when I walk in. She looks up when she hears me opening the door and smiles.

"Hey, Tris."

"Hi," she says softly. She has the crust of a sandwich in her fist and nibbles at it. She started eating solid food a few days ago and no longer has a diet of juices and other kinds of drinks.
I stroke her head and kiss her on her forehead. She looks at me, her eyes big and bright and almost innocent.

"How was wowk?" she asks.

I place my hand over my mouth to hide a smile. She got the hang of talking again, but she can't pronounce the R, something she gets really frustrated about. I think it's kind of cute, but Tris doesn't really like it.
Tris gives me a push against my arm, but I don't even have to try to keep sitting straight, because she's not strong.

For a moment I have the urge to say sowwy instead of sorry, but decide against it. I really don't want to be ignored right now.

"Good. How's life here?"

"Fine."

Tris wants to take another small bite of her bread crust, but what's left of it is in her fist, and she can't reach it with her teeth. She opens her fist and moves the crust a little with a shaking finger of her other hand. Then she forms a fist again and starts eating again.

We sit in a comfortable silence until doctor Eastwood comes in. He has a tray with him with a plate. He places it on Tris's lap. With the plate is also a fork on the plate and a banana in little parts.

"We're going to try something new," he says. Tris's eyes light up.
Eastwood gestures to the fork. Tris clenches it in her fist, but then Eastwood shakes his head.

"Like you usually hold it," he says and he brings her index finger to the top of the fork.

And then it goes wrong.

Tris's fingers suddenly start shaking so badly, the fork falls out of her hand. She grabs it again how she's supposed to hold it, but she can't keep her grip. With a frustrated growl she throws the fork away.

"Stupid thing!" she says.

"Hey," I say. "You're going to get there. Just keep trying, Tris."

She crosses her arms over her chest and glares at the wall in front of her. Great. We get to experience one of her episodes again.

I stand and pick the fork up from the floor. I wipe it clean as I walk back. I lay it down on Tris's plate and take her hand.

"Tris," I say. She doesn't react. "Hey, look at me."

With a scowl, she looks at me quickly and then looks back at the wall.

"Come on, breathe in deeply," I say. She breathes in and out shortly, like a sigh. "Breath in deeply and calm down."

"Stupid," she says. "You. And thing is, too."

"Yes, I'm very stupid," I say. It hurts when she talks to me like that. "Come on, we'll show that stupid thing who's in power."

I fold her fingers around the end of the fork. I keep my hand around hers, but let her do the rest by herself.

Eventually she manages to get a piece of banana in her mouth. I kiss her cheek as she chews on it slowly.

"I knew you could do this," I say encouraging.

I understand now what Evelyn meant with a difficult recover. Tris will have to learn everything again from the basics, like babies and toddlers. And I have to go through all her tantrums, but that is nothing in comparison of what she has to go through.

Tris lays down her head on my shoulder.

"You not stupid," she says. "Sowwy. Won't say."

"It's okay, Tris. I know you don't mean it like that."

"Thing is stupid," she adds and I laugh. She glares at me. "Okay. You awe stupid."

I press a kiss to her forehead.

"That's okay," I say. I know she'll regret what she said later. "I'm going to get some food, okay?"

"You come back?" she asks.

"Yes," I say. "I'll always come back to you."

A/N - I kind of liked writing this chapter.
I have prewritten this whole story. It'll have 50 chapters and an epilogue. So yeah, we're already halfway.

Be brave & stay alive