Tobias - after Allegiant ✔

38

Slowly I wake up. The events of last week exhausted me more than I realized. Tobias has his arms slipped around my bare waist, holding me hostage. I turn around slowly so I face him. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps. It's the only time his face shows how old – or young – he actually is.
   
My eyes follow the outline of his perfect body and I wonder how I got him and why he didn't choose someone else. Because he loves you, a voice in my head says, and I remember the love he showed me last night.
   
"It's not polite to stare," says Tobias, his voice sluggish from sleep. "Though I can see where you're coming from."
   
"How long have you been awake alweady?" I ask.
   
"Longer than you've been," he answers and he finally opens his eyes. "I just like staying in bed with my girlfriend."
   
"Fiancée," I correct.
   
"Mrs Eaton."
   
"Not yet, mistew Eaton."
   
"I know, but I just like to say it and think about how it's going to become reality." He kisses me softly and I have to stop myself from letting things go further.
   
"When do you want to get mawwied?" I ask.
   
"Next month," he says after a pause.
   
"Then we weally need to start thinking about what we want," I say. "Because I haven't thought about it yet."
   
"I have, actually," he says. I raise my eyebrows. "I thought we could have the ceremony at the old Abnegation headquarters, since that's where we were raised and that's where our roots are."
    
I think about the simple, rectangular, grey building and smile.
   
"I would love to have ouw cewemony thewe," I say.
   
"Good," he says. "Because I had already reserved it."
   
I look at him with wide eyes. How is it possible that I didn't notice him getting things ready for our wedding? How is it possible for him to keep things from me so easily? How much more does he hide?
   
"What else did you do fow ouw wedding?" I ask cautious.
   
"Nothing, really," he says. Then he sees my expression and his smile falters. "Tris, I just wanted this to be a surprise."
   
"Well, it wowked," I sigh.
   
"Then why are you looking at me like that?"
   
"Just didn't think it would be this easy fow you to keep things away fwom me," I say. "This, the notebook... what else do you know that I don't?"
   
"You don't know that I have a Dauntless cake in the refrigerator," he says and I chuckle a little. "But apart from that I'm not hiding anything."
   
"No mowe secwets. That's what we pwomised each othew fouw yeaws ago, wight?"
   
"No more secrets. I know. And that I hid that notebook was wrong and I'm not going to make the same mistake again. I promise that, too."
   
"Okay," I say softly. I don't know what to believe of that. But since he's my boyfriend and I don't want to lose him, I decide to let it go.
   
"I'm going to make breakfast," says Tobias and he pulls the blanket off him. I can't stop myself from staring, my face reddening. He grins. Then I look away and bury my red face in my pillow to hide the color.
   
"Could you please make pancakes," I say, my voice muffled by the pillow.
   
"Sure."
   
He strokes my head, puts on some sweatpants and walks toward the kitchen. After he's gone from the bedroom I can get out of bed, too. I still feel ashamed of my body, even though Tobias told me I was beautiful just hours ago. I think his opinion is biased, but then again, mine is too.
   
I walk over to the closet and take one of Tobias's larger t-shirts and a pair of shorts. This will do for breakfast.
   
"Tris?" Tobias calls from the kitchen.
   
"Yeah?"
   
"Christina called," he says. "She's going to pick you up in an hour to go dress shopping. It sounded fun."
   
"Haha," I say. "I hate shopping."
   
I walk to the kitchen where he is making pancakes for me. He has no T-shirt on. I walk over to him and trace the tattoos with my fingertips.
   
"Tris," he says, moaning. "Don't do that in the kitchen."
   
I ignore him and go further down his spine, from the scales of Candor to the tree of Amity just above the waistband of his sweatpants.
   
Suddenly he turns around and kisses me with hunger. This feels too intense – my legs are going to give in. I grab his shoulder to keep myself up straight and kiss him back. Then a sizzling sound behind Tobias draws our attention. Burned pancakes. Tobias mumbles something that doesn't sound to pleasant.
   
"We may have to start the day with cereal," he says.
   
I pout. "Can I have one last kiss in wetuwn then?" I ask.
   
He leans in and I close the gab between us, but then he pulls back, teasing. I decide to touch the Amity tree on his back again and he gives in.

+ + +

Christina storms in, making Tobias and I jump in surprise.
   
"Cwistina, have you evew heawd of knocking?" I ask her.
   
"Once or twice," she answers. "Come on, Tris, let's go."
   
She takes my arm and pulls me with her toward the door. I don't know why she wants to go away so quickly.
   
"Wait," I say. "My shoes."
   
She lets go of me and I quickly put on my shoes. But when I want to walk over to Tobias to kiss him once more, she grabs my arm again.
   
"Bye!" I just say.
   
"Bye, sweetheart," he says. "I love you."
   
The door is shut before I can say anything else. Christina shakes her head at me, sighing. I frown at her.
   
"You shouldn't get yourself pregnant," she says.
    
I feel my cheeks getting warmer. "I'm not. And why exactly do you say things like that? You know I'm not weady fow that."
   
"I'm just saying," she says.
   
"Awe you jealous?" I ask.
   
"None of your business," she answers shortly.
   
"So you awe," I say, nodding my head. "Don't wowwy, Cwis, you'll get youw own wedding someday."
   
"Tris," she starts, but then she stops and sighs. "I could've been married by now."
   
I feel my body sagging and my fingers and legs start trembling more.
   
"You'we thinking about Will, awen't you?" I say tired. She doesn't answer. "Cwistina, I'm weally sowwy. I wish I had chosen diffewently. If I died then, Tobias wouldn't have been as heawtbwoken as he was now and you would've gotten the happily evew aftew you desewve."
   
"No, Tris, that's not what I was thinking about. Now, I'm wondering if I still chose Will if I had known Matthew at that point."
   
I stay quiet for a while. Then I say, "Does that really mattew now?"
   
Christina looks at me from the corner of her eye.
   
"I mean, you can't change the past. That's something I've leawned to cope with. The past is inevitable."
   
"But Tris, I've been so angry with you, so angry. And it could've been way less if I had Matthew at that point. And now I feel like a jerk..."
   
"But you had Will then and not Matthew and that's okay. You would've been angwy, no mattew what. And whether you wewe vewy angwy or just a little wouldn't have changed my guilt. So stop this and start annoying me with dresses I don't want to weaw and we might have a fun day."
   
She breathes in deeply and releases it slowly. Then she nods and looks at me.
   
"Thank you, Tris," she says with a warm smile. "That really helped."
   
She turns the car down the parking lot next to the mall. I'm not really looking forward this, but I can't resist Christina's enthusiasm. I take a deep breath and get out of the car. Let's get this day over with.

A/N - I'm updating today, cause tomorrow I'm busy😊

Next chapter is the wedding, yay! Actually I don't have the concentration to pay attention at a wedding, so actually I've no idea how it all works, but I don't really care.

Be brave & stay alive