Tobias - after Allegiant ✔

37

After work I go to Caleb. He said he would find out where Tris is, but he didn't call yet, so I'm going to visit him.
   
"Have you found her yet?" I ask.
   
"An hour ago or something?" he answers.
   
"Why didn't you call me?"
   
"Because you were at work, and so was I. Do you still want to know it?" he asks. I give him a look and he sighs. "She's sleeping over at Christina's."
   
"Thank you," I say and walk toward the door.
   
"Tobias," says Caleb and I stop. "She's not going to give in."
   
I open the door and walk away. Why does everyone keep saying that? Because it's true, a voice in my head says. I shake the voice out of my head and drive to Christina's house.
   
Christina lives north of the bridge, like me, but she has an apartment in one of the higher floors of the Hancock building. I take the elevator to the 57th floor. I can almost feel the space between the elevator and the ground grow and I squeeze my eyes shut. When the doors open I immediately walk out. I see a blonde girl run away and I run after her. It's Tris.
   
I'm faster than she is and reach her quickly. I grab her arm. She tries to wiggle out of my grip, but I'm too strong.
   
"I was informed you sleep here," I say.
   
"And I was infowmed you wewe on your way hewe," she says. "Caleb told me."
   
"Traitor," I mumble.
   
"No, he wants the best fow you," she says. I glare at her. "Tobias, how many times do you need to heaw this? I'm coming back when you have pwoven to be able to stay alive without me. And I made suwe to tell evewyone about this, so I'll heaw it when I can come back. I did this all to come back as quickly as possible. Now it's you who need to do something."
   
"But why did Caleb tell me where you were if he's on your side?"
   
"Tobias, he knew about his befowe you called him. He knew whewe I was befowe you called him. I told him to tell you." She gives me a quick kiss on my cheek. "Now you know I know evewything about you. I suggest you stawt bwinging that old Tobias back."
   
"I ate breakfast today," I say, hoping this will help me.
   
"After I spoke with you, which means you're still listening to me like a dog. And how was lunch?"
   
"Great," I lie.
   
"Liaw," she says. "I have Johanna, too."
   
She pulls her arm out of my grasp.
   
"I'm moving, so you won't find me here again," she says, walking toward the elevator backwards. "Maybe you need to stop being so despewate to get me back. Do what you always did when I was still thewe."
   
She steps into the elevator and I try to get in with her, but the doors close and she disappears.
   
As I wait for the elevator to arrive, parts of conversations sound in my head. Do what you always did when I was still there. You're listening to me like a dog. Take care of yourself. Show me and she'll come back.
   
She won't come back if I don't bring Four back – the independent, strong boy I once was. I can become him again and I will.
   
As long as I get Tris back.

+ + +

The next week I do everything to be 'normal.' I eat when I need to, I sleep until I have enough rest, I go to work and I do everything on my own. Evelyn has decided she trusts me and doesn't come every night to see if I ate dinner. That's something, I guess.
   
But Johanna looks at me with suspicious eyes, trying to peel my skin off to see what on my mind.
   
"What?" I say when she looks at me like that again when I walk in on a bright September morning.
   
"Nothing," she says.
   
"You're still partially Candor, Johanna, you can't lie."
   
"Fine. None of your business, like the Dauntless used to say."
   
"At least you're avoiding it, not lying," I say, sighing. "How is Tris doing?"
   
Johanna's look becomes more suspicious.
   
"I'm not trying to track her down," I say reassuringly. "I just want to know how she's doing, that's all."
   
"She's doing fine," she says.
   
"Can you ask her when she's planning to come back, or is that information I'm not allowed to know?"
   
"You're not allowed to know and I'm not going to ask," she says.
   
"Okay," I say.
   
During this week, her face was always in the back of my mind. She was always there when I was making decisions. I tried to ignore her face and choose for myself, but it was harder than I thought it would be.
   
This time, too, I shake my head to get her face from my thoughts. But I do realize that I'm not nearly as desperate to get her back as I was. I don't know if that's because I'm really more independent or if it's because I know she's not dead. Maybe it's a combination of both. I don't know.

+ + +

I really don't know when Tris is coming back. I tell myself I don't care, but deep in my heart, where no one can see it, I do care. Not as much as I did a week ago, but I still do.
   
I think about it when I drive home. Tris doesn't have any reason to stay away anymore, unless she wanted to get away from me permanently and didn't have the guts to tell me, but that's not likely. She was always the stronger one.
   
Something's changed in my house. I notice it the second I walk in, but I can pinpoint it. But something's certainly different.
   
Then I hear a voice. It's coming from the bedroom or the bathroom that's connected with it.
   
"Hello?" I call and I search for an object to hit the intruder with.
   
"Tobias," a panicked voice says, and then a person walks into the living room. "Tobias, can you please help? I let anothew glass fall and I cut myself and I can't get the piece of glass out of my hand and..."
   
"Oh, Tris," I cut her off. "Come on. Let's get to the bathroom."
   
I guide her to the bathroom with a hand on her back. Her fingers tremble, and so do her legs, so she really needs the support.
   
"Thank you, Tobias," she says.
   
"You're welcome," I say and I get the piece of glass out of her hand. "When are you coming back?"
   
"Coming back?" she repeats. "I'm alweady hewe. To what do I need to come back?"
   
"So you're staying this time?" I ask, just to be sure.
   
"Yes, Tobias," she says laughing. "You pwoved to be able to keep youwself alive. I don't see any weason to stay away."
   
"Tris," I start.
   
"Yeah?"
   
"I just wanted to thank you for doing this. It was no fun, but it really helped. You always know what to do."
   
"Actually, I don't."
   
"Tris, that was a compliment. You're supposed to take it with a shy smile, not contradict it."
   
She laughs. "I'm sorry."
   
I look at her in shock. "Did you just say sorry?"
   
"What else could I have said, then?" she asks frowning.
   
"Well, usually you say sowwy, so I'm just shocked."
   
"Sowwy," she says. "Sowwy sowwy sowwy. I can't say it anymowe! Tobias, I missed it and I can't wepeat it."
   
"It's okay, Tris," I say. "Oh, I still need to get you a bandaid."
   
I get up and grab a bandaid.
   
"Tobias, I weally missed you," says Tris.
   
"I missed you, too."
   
"I bawely slept the fiwst night. I was afwaid you would huwt youwself. That's why I made suwe evewyone knew about this. I needed to make suwe you wewe okay."
   
"I'm okay, Tris, I'm okay. I'm even better than I was. Again, thank you."
   
She smiles and kisses me. I kiss her back. I missed the feeling of her lips against mine so much. I'm really craving it right now.
   
I move my hand to the hem of her T-shirt and slip my hand under it, to feel the bare skin of her back. I hear her sigh and kiss her even harder. She grabs my shoulder and I feel her fingers tremble against my skin, but I ignore it.
   
She tugs at the hem of my T-shirt and I'm removing it. She skims my chest with her fingers and it's taking me everything to stop me from taking her right away. Self control, Tobias, I say to myself. I need to do this at her pace, I need to respect her and stop when she doesn't want to go any further.
   
I love her. God, I love her so, so much. I'm going to marry the most strong, brave, beautiful woman that has ever set foot on this planet. How did I get so lucky?
   
"I love you so much," I mumble against her lips, because she needs to know it.
   
"I love you, too," she mumbles back. "Mowe than you could imagine."
   
And then I kiss her again. I play with the hem of her T-shirt and she pulls back.
   
"I think we need to move this to somewhewe else," she says, out of breath. My heart beats faster as I realize what she said.
   
"Are you sure, Tris?" I ask with raised eyebrows.
   
She nods. "Just go slow, okay?"
   
"Of course. And just say it when you need to stop."
   
She nods and kisses me again, confident and we let the love take over our rational thinking, but that's all right.

A/N - happy new year everyone!!!

Again, thank you so much for 1K reads, it means a lot to me❤

Be brave & stay alive