Tobias - after Allegiant ✔

22

I wake that morning way too late. It would've been even later if not for Tris waking me. I hurry to get myself ready to leave. Doctor Williams brought my bag yesterday night, so I luckily I don't have to find it. On my way to the truck John got me I walk through the cafeteria and grab a muffin.
   
Luckily the road from the Bureau to the city is dead silent, so I can drive a little faster than appreciated. I slow down when I get in the city.
   
Two exact hours too late I storm inside the office with my mouth filled with muffin.
   
"Sowwy," I say. "Slept in late."
   
It's not entirely true. If I weren't at the Bureau I wouldn't have arrived here this late, but she doesn't need to know that.
   
"Good morning to you, too," says Johanna with a raised eyebrow.
   
"Good morning, Johanna," I sigh. "How was the trip?"
   
"Excellent. How are you?"
   
"Excellent."
   
"You look good, better than you did before the accident. Maybe the coma gave you rest in some way."
   
"Yeah, maybe," I say. "Maybe that rest came after."
   
"Just look at you, my boy," she says happily and she walks up to me. "Finally some color back in your face."
   
"Honestly, I haven't really taken time for that. I wanted to postpone the day on which I see the scars on my face."
   
"They aren't that bad. And I have good news: hopefully you'll be the last victim of an accident for a long time, because we have permission for the traffic lights."
   
"My car accident was on a place where the traffic lights never have been, Johanna," I say sharply. "It was in the middle of a narrow street and on undeniable purpose. Those things couldn't have done anything."
   
"I know, but that doesn't mean we can discard this plan as useless."
   
"I'm not," I sigh. "But I just found it unnecessary to involve my car accident in this conversation."
   
"I'm sorry," says Johanna. "How is your mother?"
   
"Good, I guess?"
   
"She was a wreck, you know. She just sat next to you the whole time, crying until there were no tears left. And then it was her we needed to force to eat." She laughs a little.
   
I laugh, too. "Strange. That part of the story she never told me."
   
Now Johanna really laughs.

+ + +

I seem to surprise Johanna the whole day. With everything I do she looks at me like I've grown a second head. I'm not doing anything strange. Do I?
   
Around eleven o'clock, my stomach starts to grumble, something I haven't experienced in thee years. I decide to do something about it and take a granola bar from the cafeteria downstairs. When I come back, Johanna looks at me over her cup of coffee, suspicious.
   
"I was hungry," I say, shrugging.
   
Coughing, Johanna spits out her coffee over her desk. Quickly I get paper towels from the bathroom and lay it over the coffee on the desk.
   
"Are you okay?" I ask when the coughing reduces.
   
"Let's just get back to work," says Johanna weekly. I just nod and walk back to my own desk.
   
She stays silent until we sit down in the cafeteria for lunch. It's only a few hours ago that I ate something, but I bought two sandwiches anyway.
   
"Tobias," she starts. "What is going on with you?"
   
"Nothing," I say.
   
"Really? Then explain the color in your face and the fact that you're eating again and the happiness is back in your eyes. It's almost like you forgot the past few years."
   
"I haven't forgotten, or else I wouldn't have known about the current situation in the city."
   
"Are you sure the coma didn't make you forget parts of it?" she asks.
   
"I remember everything: there are no factions, I live north of the bridge and Tris..." is dead, I want to say, but she isn't "... is gone. I'm completely up to date."
    
"There it was again!" she calls. I look at her, frowning. "In the past three years, I think I've heard you say her name maybe three times, and every time I saw the effort it took for you to say it. And now you pretend like you've never done different."
   
Time to act.
   
"I only said it three times?" I say with faked surprise. I know all too well that I never said her name.
   
"Did you find another girl?" asks Johanna carefully.
   
"No," I say immediately. "No. There will never get someone else. No one can replace her. No one. Never."
   
"That is okay, Tobias. I was just asking."
   
Suddenly I'm not hungry anymore. I shove the plate with a half sandwich away from me and look at Johanna who continues eating.
   
"I'll be gone for a while after lunch," she says. I raise my eyebrows. "I'm going to mark the intersections that need traffic lights."
   
"You need some help?" I ask.
   
Johanna shakes her head. "I'll be fine."

+ + +

Johanna doesn't come back that day. That isn't that strange, since we live in a big city and she has to cross it completely. But I'd rather come with her, because if I would, I wouldn't be sitting here alone. When I'm alone I start to think.
   
Now I think about Tris, what she's doing right now, a thought I never would've expected to have.
   
I don't think Tris is doing anything right now, because she can't. Unless that doctor has thought of something new to do, but that's not likely.
   
I look at the clock above the door. Five minutes to five. No one would mind if I got away five minutes earlier.
   
I shut everything down and take the elevator downstairs.
   
In the lobby is Johanna. But she's not alone. My mother is with her and they're talking to one another.
   
I duck my head so they can't see my face and hope they won't recognize me this way. It doesn't work. My mother sees me. Of course she does. She would recognize me everywhere. I'm her son, after all.
   
"Tobias," she says. And for some reason I even look up.
   
"Mom," I say, smiling.
   
She looks at me in wonder. She walks to me and jabs my cheek with her finger. I look at her, frowning.
    
"What was that?" I say.
    
"I just wanted to make sure you were real," she says. "What happened to you that you look healthy again?"
    
"You wanted me to eat," I say, shrugging. "So I did."
   
Evelyn looks at me with suspicious eyes.
   
"You are weird, you know that? One moment you are talking my ears of about how I need to get healthy, and then it happens and you look at me like I'm not human anymore." I walk past Evelyn. "I have to go. Buy food."
   
I don't give them the chance to talk back. I get in the car I borrowed from the Bureau and drive in the direction of the grocery store. When I'm sure no one is following me, I drive to the Bureau.
   
I hope Evelyn and Johanna didn't see me getting in a Bureau's car, because then I'll have a lot to explain.
   
Once I'm outside the city, I accelerate and in no time I'm in front of Tris's door.
   
Tris sits on the bed, like I expected, and stares at the wall in front of her as she tries forming words. She breathes in deeply and starts again. I keep as quiet as I can and let the door open.
   
"Tob..s," she says. It's really soft, but she managed two more letters than she did yesterday. And that is more than I expected.
   
"Hey Tris," I say and close the door.
   
Tris jumps. When she sees it's just me she relaxes and she smiles.
   
"Tob..s," she says again.
   
I don't know how I didn't realize this before. She started with learning to speak again with my name. I don't know why she finds it more important than I'm hungry or good morning.
    
I kiss her, because I don't know how else to express the feeling that runs through my body at this moment. At least, I think that's why. Maybe I just kiss her because I simply wanted to. But that is less likely because I almost always have a reason to kiss her, because we're not the kind of persons who touch each other carelessly.
   
"I love you, you know that," I say.
   
Tris nods and tries to say something, but this time nothing comes out but air from her lungs.
    
"What?" I say teasingly. "You hate me?"
    
She looks at me, sighing. A small smile plays around her lips. She lays her hand in my neck and presses her lips against mine. With her other hand she draws little hearts on my chest and abdomen.
   
After a while I let go of her and sit down on the bed, next to her. She sighs and lays down her head on my shoulder.
   
"Johanna's getting suspicious," I say. "And Evelyn, too."
   
Tris looks at me questioning.
   
"I... was different," I say. I choose my words carefully. "Depressive, I think. And I didn't eat. But you knew that already. Johanna started asking questions."
   
Tris lifts her head from my shoulder. She places four trembling fingers next to each other and places her thumb on her middle finger, making a mouth with her hands. She separates her thumb from the rest of her fingers and then brings them back together.
   
"You want me to tell them?" I ask, to be sure. She nods and smiles. I take the photos and place them in front of her. "Who do you want me to tell first?"

A/N - cliffhangerrr (sort of). Yeah, okay.
Who do you think Tris wants to see?
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