Tobias - after Allegiant ✔

47

The rest of the day I don't talk to her. I'm so angry with her. She's becoming the reckless Tris she was in the war. And now it isn't just me she will hurt. She will hurt an innocent baby as well. And I can't let that happen, I won't.

I have another fight with her when she tries to sleep on the couch. Pregnant women need comfort and that's quite difficult to get on a couch. The result was that I slept on the floor and she didn't let me comfort her when she vomited the next morning.

I tell Johanna to reject Tris on any job she applies to.

"Why?" she asks.

"She can't work in her condition. She'll get hurt."

"How will she get hurt by doing paperwork?"

"By slipping over paper lying on the floor," I say like it's already obvious.

"Oh, please, Tobias. You're being so irrational right now." Johanna looks irritated. "You, of all people, should know how to handle pain. And with the kind of innocent job Tris wants to get she doesn't need that knowledge you have."

"So you're choosing her side now?" I ask angrily.

"Yes. I feel sorry for her."

"She doesn't want anyone to feel sorry for her."

"Oh, so you know that now? Then why can't you understand that she's doing you a great favor by working here? You can watch her twenty-four seven now, Tobias. She'll be three doors down. Whenever something happens you'll be able to reach her in five seconds."

"I..." I don't know what to say. My hands go numb and my breathing quickens and I know I'm panicking, but I don't even know why.

Suddenly a hand lands on my shoulder. I jump and turn around, only to be met by Johanna's friendly, soft eyes.

"I understand why you're scared, Tobias," she says softly. "Your wife is struggling with the side effects of a coma and is carrying your child. You're scared some accident will happen and they will get hurt. That's okay, Tobias. It's okay to be afraid. But don't let that out on her. You know she wants to be busy and useful. Let her, Tobias. Let her, and you'll see there's nothing to be afraid of. She's strong; she can handle this. And if your child is anything like you and Tris, they will be strong as well."

"But what if something does happen?" I ask, my voice trembling – stupid voice, be normal, please.

"Then you'll be there to help. I'll even allow her to work until birth, so she can stay here with you."

"Birth hurts, doesn't it?" I already know the answer, and Johanna's silence only confirms it. "Oh, God, what did I do?"

"Let's not think about that, okay?" Johanna says quickly. "Just focus on the problem in front of us. Will you let her work?"

I sigh. "No. Yes. No. Yes. I don't know!"

"You can think about this over night. I don't want you to make a rushed decision."

I nod. "Can I just see the office she'll be working in?"

"Of course."

She leads me to an office three doors down the hall, like she said earlier. She opens the door and lets me in. I look around. It's quite big. It has a large desk with a computer and there's still room enough to throw all paper on the ground and still have a path from the door to the desk. The window gives almost the same view I have.

"She'll like it here," I say softly.

"That's exactly what I thought," Johanna says, just as softly. "That's why I picked this office."