Tobias - after Allegiant ✔

28

I feel a little sick. I feel like the walls of this room are inching closer to me and lock me in and will never let me go. Every inch of control I once had is gone. I don't even know how to control my own fingers. The only thing that reassured me was the smell of Tobias hanging around this bed, but now that is gone, too.
   
I don't know how long I'm already in this room, waiting for someone to come in. I always hope they stay longer than a few seconds, but that happens almost never. It only happens when doctor Eastwood or Tobias comes in.
   
Tobias...
   
I'm so mean to him. I say things to him I don't want to say. I'm afraid I give him the same feeling Marcus gave him, and I don't like that idea. I want him to feel like he doesn't have to be afraid.
   
And all of that together makes me vomit, to let it all out.
   
A nurse runs in to clean the mess I made and I start crying.
   
"Hey, easy," says the nurse. "It's okay. It's okay. It's my job to do things like this, after all. Isn't it?"
   
I nod. And then shake my head. And nod again. And decide on shaking my head again.
   
"What is wrong, sweetheart?" she asks softly, soothing.
   
"T-to...bi-as," I sob. "Tobias."
   
"I'm afraid he's at work right now, sweetheart," she says.
   
"No!" I scream and I'm scared by the sudden power of my voice and start crying even harder. "Tobias!"
   
"I'm going to get him, okay?"
    
I nod and sob. The nurse takes a device from her pocket. She taps on it and holds it by her ear. She talks in it and listens to something.
   
Then she walks to me and holds it against my ear.
   
"Tris?" I hear someone say.
   
"Tobias," I sob.
   
"Tris, what's wrong?" he asks starting to panic. "Is everything okay?"
   
I shake my head and continue crying.
   
"Oh, no," he mumbles. "Tris, I'm coming over right now. Okay?"
   
"Yes," I say. I hear a click and then there's only a constant beep left. "Tobias? Tobias! Tobias, no!"
   
"Calm down," says the nurse next to me. "He's on his way."
   
"He gone," I cry and I point at the device. "Gone!"
   
"He can't call and drive at the same time, sweetheart."
   
I don't listen. I'm panicking and I'm crying and all I want is Tobias.
   
I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around my legs and rock myself back and forth, listening to the sounds coming from the hallway.
   
Time passes and I panic even more. When the door opens and Tobias runs in, my breathing is uneven and my face is completely wet.
   
"Tris!" Tobias runs over to me and I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his shoulder.
   
"Tobias!" I say, still sobbing.
   
"I'm here," he says and he places his hand on my back. "Everything is okay, Tris."
   
He lifts me up and sets me down on his lap and is sits down in the chair next to my bed. I hold on to him tightly and try to calm down, but it's not working.
   
"Tris, you need to calm down now," says Tobias. He says that a lot lately, but that's not his fault. I sob again. "Tris, breathe in and out deeply."
   
I'm trying, I really am. It's just not working.
   
"Tris, come on," he says sternly.
   
"Not... wowking."
   
"It is."
    
I shake my head. "Can't bweathe. Not good."
   
Tobias looks around him, looking for something or someone. I lay my head on his chest and try to let his heartbeat calm me down, but his heartbeat is just as fast as my own breathing.
   
"You need to get out of here," he murmurs. "Doctor, she needs to get out of here. She needs to go outside."
    
I look up. I didn't even know doctor Eastwood was here.
   
"Excuse me?" he says. "Who do you think you are to make decisions like that without being a doctor?"
   
"Tobias Eaton," he answers simply. I would've laughed if I wasn't in panic this much. "Her boyfriend. Besides, her bed needs to be cleaned anyway."
   
"Do you have sunglasses?" asks doctor Eastwood. Tobias nods. "All right. Then she can go out. But she needs a wheelchair."
   
Du-huh.
   
I press Tobias closer to me. A wheelchair is rolled toward us and Tobias lifts me like I weight nothing. Which could be reality.
   
Tobias rides me toward the elevators. In one of the elevators he places the sunglasses on my head.
   
"The sun's too bright," he says. The doors open.
   
I watch as the entrance comes closer and the air colder. It's winter, and I have no coat.
   
Tobias brings us outside, to a bench on the property of the hospital.
   
"Here," he says and he takes his coat and places it around my shoulders. He crouches in front of me. "Better?"
    
I nod. "Thank you," I say softly. Slowly I calm down again.
   
"You really scared me, you know," says Tobias.
   
"Sowwy." Sorry! You have to say sorry!
   
He kisses me slowly. "Don't be. You've nothing to be sorry for."
   
I kiss him back. I look in his eyes. The only thing I see is love. But I don't know why I would see love after I said he was stupid yesterday, even though he hadn't done anything wrong.
   
"Why?" I ask.
   
Tobias frowns at me. "Why what?"
   
"You not gone. You always back."
   
"Of course I come back. Why wouldn't I come back?" He places his hand on my cheek and moves his thumb up and down.
   
"Me stupid," I say. "I say you stupid."
   
"True," he says.
   
"You not mad?"
   
He shakes his head. "Tris... you were gone. They told me you were dead, you would never come back. They told me I needed to move on, that I had to leave behind what had happened. But I couldn't."
   
A tear falls on his pants.
  
"I thought I would forget you if I left everything behind me, if I left you behind me." He looks at me. "Even now, if I left you behind me I would still feel the same way."

He wipes the trail the tear left on his cheek.

"I know you don't mean it when you say things like that, Tris. I know this is all really frustrating for you and you get angry about it and that's all right. I don't mind getting a load of shit over me if that means I'll be able to bring you outside one day, and that you get in my car and drive with me to my house. I ask you only one thing: don't leave me."

I take his face in my hands and press my mouth to his. He reacts immediately by wrapping his arm around my waist.

He loves me. Enough to take the burden and stay with me. Something that seems almost impossible to me.

"I love you," I whisper, and I watch as my words fly through the air to him in clouds of carbon dioxide.

"I love you, too," he says. "So, so much."

I smile.

"Come on, let's go inside, or you'll get sick."

I nod and let him take me inside.

A nurse changed the blankets and sprayed something in the air to push away the foul smell of bile. Tobias lifts me to the bed and lays me under the sheets. He also takes my hand and blows in them to get them warm again. I look at him and wonder what I did to deserve him.

"Promise me you won't freak out like that again while it's still winter," says Tobias suddenly. "It's way too cold for things like that."

"Okay," I say. I hope I can keep that promise.

He takes a screen out of his bag – one that looks like the one I read my mother's journal from once.

"I'm sorry," he says. "Couldn't finish my work before that nurse called."

"My fault," I say.

"Maybe you could help me then." He puts the screen on my lap and I start reading.

We work until my dinner comes and I'm busy again with holding the fork. Tobias helps again, like the first time.

"You sweet," I say and I kiss his cheek.

"You, too," he says. "Did I tell you I love you?"

I shake my head teasingly.

"Then I love you."

I laugh. "You weiwd, too."

A/N - I ship them so hard, it's insane.

What do you think will happen in this story?

Be brave & stay alive