You Are My Home

Engagment

After my encounter with Allie, I tried my best to take care of myself. I was at an all time high. I hadn't had a serious drink in months I hadn't cut myself in even longer. Alex and I hadn't hooked up in a while. Soccer was going great, we were winning and it looked like we were going to go all the way to playoffs. I was getting a crazy amounts of assist this season. Some clubs in Europe wanted me which was pretty exciting. Of course I was pretty happy with Portland and the national team right now so I polietly turned them down. Life was good.

The only person that knew about my feelings about Alex was Lauren. I didn't tell Allie becuase the three of us are always together and I  knew she would make it weird, but I think she was catching on herself. Sometimes when I would catch myself looking to long at Alex or laughing way too much at something she said. I would look up to see if anyone noticed. Sometimes I would see Allie staring back at me with confusion all over her face. I think what made me the most confused was the times I stop was I was doing with and look up and realize Allie was staring at Alex, why would she do that? But, whatever I trusted my Harry no matter what so if she figure it out I trusted her to keep it between us.

Like I said though life was good, great even, until it wasn't.

We were at a national team camp in Hawaii of all places. It started off great, I mean it was Hawaii, our hotel was right on the water with our own private beach. Ashlyn, Kelley, and I had already been out there surfing. We won our game there 5-0. I had an assist, life was continuing to be great. We were planning to go out that night to celebrate the win.There was going to be a team dinner and then we were going to go out and get some drinks. Surprisingly, A lot of people had family with them, I guess people just wanted to be in Hawaii and I guess I don't blame them for that.

A few of us wanted to take a walk down pier that was next to our hotel before dinner. Surprisingly Sydney, was the one who suggested it, and she said it was a requirement for Alex to go and Alex told me I had to go. So Alex and I got ready and we left for the pier. It was Abby, Sydney, Becky, JJ, Mewis, Carli, Kelley, Ashlyn, Ali, Christen and I that went. I tried to get Cheney to go, but she said she would rather take a nap. As we were walking down the pier I noticed that there weren't many people around, which I was grateful for. I didn't feel like signing autographs and taking pictures.

We were getting closer to the end,  I think I got distracted somehow thinking about the night before. 

Alex and I were sharing a hotel room, which wasn't abnormal we were constantly roommates. Alex was upset because Servando was supposed to come that night, but he called her a couple of minutes ago saying he wasn't going to make it because some buddies of his wanted to take him to some game. Alex was furious. I managed to calm her down after watching a few episodes of  grey's anatomy and cuddling, we decided to go to sleep early because we had a game the next morning. 

 In the middle of the night I was woken up by a light kiss on the lips from an Alex with tears streaming down her face. I immediately pulled her into my arms.

"What is it Lex? What's wrong?"

"I had a nightmare." She managed to get out between sobs. 

"Do you want to talk to me about it?"

She just shook her head no. 

"Is there anything I can do?" She shook her head yes at this.

"What is it you know I would do anything for you." Scaring myself by how true my words were. 

"Kiss me." 

"I don't know Lex, we probably shouldn't."

"Please Toby." She pleading me. 

"Alex, what about Servando?"