You Are My Home

Break up

I did end up texting and calling Christen that night, but she didn't respond for a couple of days.  I didn't understand what I did to make her angry. Frustrated I started talking to Mel constantly. We went to that art show and we both ended up getting bored and so we just walked around the city and talked for a while.

She held my hand when we walked and it felt nice. At the end of the night she drove me back to my apartment, we hugged goodbye, because I still wasn't sure if a romantic relationship is good for either of us. I wanted to talk to someone about it, but I didn't know who. Allie has been busy with Bati. Lauren was an option, but I don't know if she will really understand the problem.

I really wanted to talk to Christen, but she wasn't answering my calls. I called Kelley just to ask if Christen was okay and Kelley said she is perfect. She answered some of my text but mostly to say she was too busy to really talk to me.

So I went out with Mel, and like I said we were pretty good together, we both like to chill and just go with the flow. We liked a lot of the same TV shows, the same resturants, and sports. But we also had the same problems. Both of never wanted to plan anything special, we were always fogetting the plans we did make and we both were self conscious of ourselves. She was better about opening up than I am. She told me about why she has been hurting herself and how she still does it every once in a while. I was not so open. I told her that I used to be an alcholic and I used to cause myself harm, I never explained why. 

But mostly we had good times together , Allie seemed to like her after a dinner that Allie made us go to because she still couldn't believe what happened with Shirley. And with Allie's approval, Mel said yes to being my girlfriend. We we were dating for two weeks before I had to leave for national team camp. Mel and Bati volunteered to take us, but Mel didn't wake up in time so Bati took us.

I was pretty nervous for this camp, maybe even more nervous than Allie an this is going to be her first camp. This was going to be my first time back and what if I don't mesh well with the team anymore. Alex is going to be there, so there's that and Christen we still haven't talked very much and I don't even understand what I did wrong and I just really miss her. Luckily Allie was freaking out too, so it was easier for me to calm her nerves down than focusing on what I am feeling.

We arrived together and went straight in to see who are roomates are. Both hoping we are each others'. Looking at the list I was elated and then I remembered the last few weeks and was dissappointed.

She was already here too because her information envelope was gone already. Allie was happy at least, we were next to each other and she was with Lauren. We made our way to our rooms, trying to waste time I took the time to say hello to everyone I passed and had a converstaion with each person. I really did miss these guys, to waste even more time I went into Allie's room to say hi to Lauren. I spent a good hour in there listening to Lauren describe the latest cute thing Jrue did for her.

After a while it was almost time for team dinner, knowing my roomate would be at dinner already, because that is just the way she is I told Chen and Harry to save me a seat and I was going to drop my stuff off in my room and clean up a bit before heading down.

I headed to my room and was met with my roomates belongings. Everything was already unpacked and put exactly, where the should be. Chuckling to myself. I don't know how she does that. Purposively I threw my suitcase down opened it and just started throwing stuff every where, well on my side at least. Then I went to my bed and messed up the covers. Taking a look around the room, I was happy at the small amount of chaos I was able to cause and went down to dinner. Looking at my watch I was two minutes late. Figures.

Putting a cheesy smile on my face, I strolled into the dinning area. The coaches gave me a look, but didn't really do much because they are used to it.