You Are My Home

Paris

My time in France held some very memorable moments and people. Pinoe was actually playing in France at the time, so when I first got there I stayed with her for a few nights. If there is one thing Pinoe knows how to do really well is have a good time. She was probably one of the reasons I didn't have time to wallow in self pity. She took me out and introduced me to some of her friends.

After a few days of living in what I liked to call Pinoe land, I thought it was time to get to know some of my PSG teammates. The team has their own apartment complex, so for the first time ever I was going to live alone. My apartment was all the way at the end of the hall so I only had one neighbor. She is pretty cool. She actually is a fellow American. Her name was Lindsey Horan. Since I knew like zero French she took it upon herself to really introduce me to the team and helped me get around the town.

It took a few weeks to really get into the french way, but I found that it really suited me. Soccer was great they liked to be a possession team, which I excelled in, but France itself was perfect for me. Everything and everyone was very chill. People would take their time doing everything. People were never in a hurry, but they still lived life to the fullest.

I cut out contact from a lot of people. I still talked to Lauren every few days. She was kind of mad I left without telling her, but she gets why I did it and she said she might come and visit me sometime.

Allie and I talked every other day. I asked her about herself, she got a new boyfriend. his name was Bati, and apparently he was special. From the stories she told me he sounds like a good guy and we talked a few times on skype becuase she really wanted me to meet him. I did threaten him that if he ever hurt Allie I would come back just to kick his ass. I think he believed me because he seemed a little more nervous around me after that.

Allie and I kept each other updated on every aspect of each others lives except one thing. We never talked about her. she tried when I first called to tell her I landed, but I immediately cut her off. I told her if I was going to do this then I needed to cut her off completely. Allie and Alex still lived together, I told Allie for my sake I just couldn't talk about her. I actually blocked her from my phone as soon as I got on the plane which I know probably pissed her off, but I know she would ask me to come back, and if she asked me I probably would. So I didn't have any contact with Alex until almost a year later, but I will get to that part.

In my time there I actually had two girlfriends, with one it lasted about 3 weeks and the other a four months, the longest relationship I have ever had and it was not a healthy relationship. My girlfriends name was Shirley, she was actually a teammate of mine. She was beautiful, but I think what really captured my attention was how much passion she had.

Shirley did everything to the fullest she played soccer with a ferocity at all times she would always being doing things outside of soccer, like traveling or seeing the city or hanging out with friends or meeting new people. I am the kind of person that cares about very few things strongly, so Shirley really appealed to me. We started off strong her showing me around the city and getting me to become closer to a lot of the girls on the team.

She wasn't afraid to show her emotions in public too, which at first I thought was perfect for me because I was never able to do that with Alex. She was always in the habit of holding my hand or putting her arm around my shoulders, or giving me kiss on the cheek or where ever was available.

She said I love you to me in like the first week of our relationship, I was hesitant at first to return it but I ended up telling her I love her about a week after.  After that our relationship changed drastically.

Like I said above Shirley was a very passionate person and that not only applied to when she was happy, but when she was angry too. At first it just started off as little arguments mostly about me forgetting to return her texts or being a little late to a date or not really listening to her when she talked. She would be furious with me and yell at me like I was a child. I allowed this because I know she was right to yell at me, I did do those things.