You Are My Home

Dreams or Memories

"Before the accident how long were we together?"

"Ummm a couple of months, we had a rocky beginning to relationship."

"When did we first meet?"

"It was at a national team camp, it was your first day and I walked in late because I over slept, because I stayed up to watch a Harry Potter marathon." She cracked a smile at this. "You already sitting with my group of friends and you already fit right in. But you weren't what I expected you to be and that is what caught my attention. We got along quickly that morning making easy conversation and I couldn't keep my eyes off of you."

"But I thought you said we didn't get together right away."

"We didn't. At that time I was a complete mess, I was in love with my best friend, Alex, and after that breakfast Alex threatened you to stay away from me."

"Why would she do that?"

"Because even back than I was completely in love with you, I just didn't know it than, but Alex did and she thought I belonged to her and Alex isn't very good at sharing. "

"So we stayed friends?"

"Oh no we didn't even do that. We barely spoke to each other. Every time we talked to each other people could have guessed it was our first time meeting. You were the first person I could ever not get to be my friend and that annoyed me to no end. You told me after we got together that after you went to Sweden you knew you were gay and you knew you had feelings for me, but you were scared of Alex and so you stayed away from me. But you always had your eye on me.

I have had a umm bad past. My parents kicked me out when I was in high school for being gay, I used to use people for sex, I am an alcoholic, and I cause myself physical harm. On multiple occasions you saved me. One time in a club you saw me losing control and you sent Lauren to get me. The second time I think you saved my life. Alex had just gotten engaged, I headed to the beach with way too much alcohol in my system with a plan to seriously hurt myself and once again you sent Lauren to save me.

After that I went to Paris for a year. I figured out what kind of person I wanted to be and I came back to the US, for Alex Morgan's wedding. You were there and we actually talked. We actually talked for like 4 hours straight while you helped me to get ready. The way we were able to communicate it was like we have been friends forever. I started to like you. I even tried to kiss you but I thought that you were dating Kelley.

At the reception, I had a chance to talk to Alex  and I accepted the fact that I was no longer in love with her and she no longer loved me. I just didn't think that anyone would ever love me. And then you came out. You didn't push me to talk but you comforted me and some how you said that exact words I needed to hear. I knew then that I liked you for real, but I thought you had a girlfriend. So we stayed friends.

We would talk everyday all day, about the meaningless things about the important things it didn't matter. We just loved talking to each other. I tried to move on, tried telling myself that I just had a crush on you, so I got myself a girlfriend and then you stopped talking to me.

Another national team camp happened, I was angry  that you had stopped talking to me, you were just another person that had left me I yelled at you, but then I realized that I had no right to be angry with you. So we hadn't talked in a while, I don't talk  to half of my friends, that's when I truly accepted that I was in love with you. I broke up with my girlfriend and that night even though I was a complete asshole to you, you comforted me. You help me in your arms all night long, and when we woke up the next day we kissed.

And Christen, it was the best kiss I had ever had, but I still thought you had a girlfriend until later that day when I admitted my feeling for you, you kissed me and said you liked me back. I thought how could anything be bad anymore in my life if I had you?