You Are My Home

She Just Cares

"But Tobin..."

"Lets just go home first."

I grabbed my backpack and put it on and then grabbed my board. Christen was still on the ground just looking at me. I reached out a hand to pull her up and she immdiately took it, but I released her hand as soon as she was up. I started walking back knowing she would follow. I felt her walking a few steps behind me the whole way back to my apartment.

What does this mean for Christen and I? Can I really be with her? Can I ever trust her again? I don't understand why she kept something like this from me.

We got back to my apartment, there was a note on the door from Allie.

Harry, I'm staying with Bati tonight. Alex went to stay with Shim. Text or call me if you need anything.

I grabbed the note and crumpled it up and opened the door and threw the paper across the room. I threw my stuff down on the floor.

I went straight to the bathroom and hopped in the shower to wash all the sweat off my body and I was still avoiding talking to Chrsiten, because as long as I don't talk to her then  its like it never happened, but I am going to have to talk to her.

I get out of the shower and walk into my room where Christen was in my bed her legs under my blankets, but she was back in the same position she was in at the park except she was hugging my pillow tightly.

This time though she wasn't crying she was just staring at my dresser where there was a new picture of Christen and I. She was gigling and I was kissing her cheek. It was my favorite picture of us. I throw on a sweatshirt and some sweats and then I sit on the edge of my bed looking at the same picture that she was looking at.

"Is there any way you will be able to forgive me for not telling you?" She rasped out.

"I don't know Chris."

"Can I at least explain why I didn't tell you?"

"I guess. "

"Most of what I told you was true. I did fall for you the moment I met you. I just lied about why I stayed away for so long. I was confused about my sexuality, that much is true, but it was more than that.

When I walked in on you and Alex that day she told me that you guys were together and that you would always be hers. And I saw you in her arms and I saw how content you were there and I believed her and if that wasn't enough she threatened me Tobin, she told me that if she ever saw me get close to you it would be the end for my soccer career and I believed her Tobin.

I mean she is Alex Morgan, she could do whatever she wants. So I stayed away from you. And then after Sweden and after my girlfriend cheated on me I came back to the states. I came back to national camp and I saw you. I saw how much she hurt you all the time and I saw how much you still loved her. I didn't understand how you cared so much for someone who caused you that much harm.

After Alex got engaged I thought it was safe to pursue you, but you went to France and I tried to get you out of my head.

Then Kelley made me go to a wedding. Alex Morgans wedding and you were there, but you were a new you and brilliant and completely enticing new you and I just couldn't stay away from you anymore Tobin. Once I actually got to know you I knew I was in love with you, but then you had a girlfriend and I was mad at you.

When we actually got together and you told me everything about you Tobin, I knew how much you had lost already and I knew that if I told you what Alex did I knew you would lose her too and I know how much she means to you. I couldn't stand to see you lose someone else you loved, so I lied. And now I broke my promise and I hurt you. I am so sorry Tobin. " I got up and walked to the door.