Maddie's POV
I took another bite on my sandwich listening to Bea's story, our tones are low, afraid Gizelle and Marge will hear us.
Therese is not here, she followed Tita and Tito. Pauline can't go with her though, she has a lot of papers and projects due this week. Deanna stays with her, sometimes ate Amy does too, I hate the idea but it's not like I can stop her.
Jirah stole my food and quickly popped it inside her mouth, her grin made me want to strangle her.
"Nakakatampo naman kayo." Marge said, they moved closer to where we are.
"Kanina pa kayo nagbubulungan diyan." Added Gizelle who have the same expression as Marge.
"Ah, eh. Wala lang naman yun." Jirah said, trying to drop the subject.
"Bakit kailan pang hindi naman marinig, kung wala lang talaga yan?" Mataray na tanong ni Gizelle, she's glaring at the three of us. Her and Marge's stares are enough to make the three of us nervous.
"You always keep things from the two of us." Marge seriously said.
I feel guilty, I'm the one who's keeping secrets from them. I tell, Bea, Jirah and sometimes Tey but not them. Not because I don't love them, I just don't want them to be involve with this mess.
"You guys never tell us what's going on. Kung wala kami habang nangyayari yun hindi namin malalaman. We have to pretend that we're oblivious about everything. We stop ourselves from asking because we don't want you to think na pinangungunahan namin kayo, we have hope na sooner you will tell us." Marge started crying, and the three of us panicked.
"Marge, Gizelle, it's not that." Bea stood from her seat and crouched in front of them.
I scramble from my seat to do the same, Jirah is not doing so good at keeping calm as well. Seeing our best friends' cry is our weakness.
"If not. Why do we feel like outsiders?" Gizelle is looking at us with pain in her eyes, "We're part of this friendship as much as you guys are. We can handle things too. Don't you trust us?"
I reached for her face to wipe her tears away. I never knew that I'm hurting them. It's not Bea's fault, and definitely not Jirah's, it's my choice to not tell them.
"We do." I whispered.
My chest is tight, I have to close my eyes to clear my head. Beatriz took a deep breath. They still won't stop crying and we're lost.
"We have no idea why Maddie ran away, why she got herself drunk. We don't even know why Therese ignored you."
"It hurts to feel like we are left out."
As if the pain is not enough already the hurt in their voice almost killed us.
Marge and Gizelle's sobs are the only sounds we hear. As I stare hopelessly at them.
"I'm sorry." I mumbled, I'm not saying it to the two but to all four of them.
I was really bad at handling things, I kept it from them thinking this is for the better and so that it won't hurt them. But then, they already hurting. I should trust them more because if there are people who will understand me, it's them.
"I was protecting you guys and I thought I'm doing it the right way." I cleared my throat because it feels like there is a big lump that's keeping me from speaking.
They are all staring at me, with confusion in their eyes, they are anticipating what I'm about to say next.
They are my best friends and if I really love them like what I always say, I should be fair. I should trust them.
