Life In The Fast Lane •JB•

30

Justin

I woke up, stretching out my arms across to the other side of the bed. I patted my hand on the mattress in search for Cam, but nothing. It was those stupid fucking pills. I threw myself up into a sitting position, pulling at the roots of my hair. This couldn't have been a hallucination, it felt too real to be. I've done some drugs in my time, and I know the difference between that and real life.

"Camilla?" I whispered loud enough for it to echo across the room, but no reply. Frustrated, I pulled myself out of bed, I wanted to make sure seeing things isn't a side effect of these happy pills.

I busted open the en suite door in search for my prescription, only to hear a faint yelp come from the steaming shower.

"Justin!" she shouted, trying to cover up the exposed parts of her body. As my mind faught to turn for her privacy, my feet felt like they were glued to the tiles beneath them. I kept my eyes on hers as she stared deeply through the lightly fogged glass, both her hands wrapped around her chest. Everything in me was fighting from jumping in with her.

"I- I'm sorry, I thought you weren't here. I thought you were gone." I spoke lowly, turning from her direction and back out the door into my room. What's wrong with you Justin.

I let out a grunt in annoyance, slumping down on the edge of the bed with my hands to my face. Small foot steps made their way towards me, a soaking Camilla stood between my legs with a towel wrapped around her body. I stared down at the droplets of water that stuck to her skin, but before I could get stuck in a trance she took hold of my face, squeezing my cheeks together with her hands so she could have all my attention on her. She stared intensely into my eyes, scanning over one side of my face to the other.

"You're using again?" she spoke lowly, keeping her grip firm on my  cheeks. I could only tell she was talking about my pupils, they were probably bigger then my irises.

I took her by surprise by meeting my lips with hers, attempting to pull her down on me her hands got between us, "No, Justin..." her plump lips skimmed over mine as she spoke, sending me over the edge but somehow I contained it inside. "I'm trying to be serious here," Camilla lightly sighed, planting herself next to me on the bed.

I placed my arm palm side up in her lap, expecting her the place her hand in mine only for her to examine around my wrist area, being as gentle as she could with only her fingertips, caressing around the stitches that held my flesh together.

"I'm sorry." Camilla whispered, planting a soft kiss on top of the almost healed wound. I bit down on my bottom lip in attempt to hold back tears, but as she broke down beside me I couldn't help but let a few slip out. Her arms snaked around my neck as she hugged me ever so tightly, I rested my chin on her shoulder, embracing every touch from her.

"It's not your fault I'm a fuck up." I spoke up, letting my arm be limp in Camilla's hands.

"No you're not Justin." She traced the tattoos from my wrist up to my elbow with the tips of her nails, sending shivers through my body.

The pleasant sensation upon my skin distracted me from my thoughts, although I couldn't help the agitation that grew in my veins.

"You will never understand." I growled, ripping my arm from her grip and tearing myself from the mattress.

Camilla kept silent as I began to pace back and forth across the bedroom, keeping my focus on the floor beneath me. As voices flooded through my head I traced back to the bathroom, popping one pill, the effects of the drug slowly but surely taking over.

I let out a deep breath, taking steady steps back out to the bedroom where Camilla still sat patiently with a crooked, but sad smile on her face. "So you're taking depression pills..." She questioned, keeping her stare on the floor.

"I'm not depressed." I quickly responded in defense, "They just make me feel better."

"I think that means- never mind." Camilla ended her sentence there, which was probably for her own good.

I threw on a simple outfit and headed towards the exit of my room. "Can you go get dressed so we can eat some lunch or something?" I stirred away the conversation from being about me and opened my tall bedroom doors only for Camilla to follow me out. She softly nodded her head making a route to her bedroom, crossing paths with Lewis who stared down at his phone.

"Cam?" Lewis shouted, his eyes widened staring in some sort of shock.

She simply opened her arms as he twirled her around in a hug, making me roll my eyes. They quickly exchanged a few words until she disappeared into her bedroom, hopefully looking for something to where.

"What's up your ass bro?" Lewis joked, although I didn't take it as one, harshly shoving him a few feet away from me.

"Calm down... but seriously when did Cam get here?"

"Around five in the morning," I stood with my hands by my sides in tight fists. I wasn't in the mood for shit, even if Camilla was here.

"Za's gone out to get some burgers, so don't worry about making food." Lewis ended with that, going back to do whatever he was doing.

With some time to spare I went down to the meeting room, pulled out a small plastic bag from one my the draws and poured out the powder onto the table, chopping it into a finer power. Hesitantly I inhaled the short line, wiping my nostril clean of evidence as every particle entered my lungs.

I left the room quickly and stepped towards the kitchen, only to find Camilla and Lewis talking as they sipped on sodas. Quietly I made myself present in the room, taking a beer from the fridge and cracking it open. I took a sip of the cold beverage, feeling Camilla's stare on me about as cold as the drink I sipped on.

"You shouldn't be drinking alcohol." She said straight up, not even acknowledging the state I was in. I crushed the half empty can in my fist and turned to her, "It's none of your business what I do." I hissed, leaning against the door frame with my arms folded over my chest.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Can't you see the way this shit is making you feel?" She stood up from position, stepping closer to me with her shoulders back and her nose high. "If you want me to stick around, get your act together." She pointed a finger to my chest, sending a threatening but serious stare through thin eyes.

I let out a low chuckle, the crumpled can in my hand leaking beer all over the floor as I motioned my arms around in a defeating manner.

"You were fine last night, what happened?" She whispered, keeping close attention on my eyes.

"Look, I'm going to go out for a bit, I'll be back later. Lewis, tell Za whoever wants my food they can have it." I lightly scoffed, taking my keys from the counter and heading towards the front door.

I turned to face Camilla one last time, her face coated with a look of disappointment. As much as I wanted to stay around, I couldn't in this moment of how I was feeling, I needed to let out the frustration that built up inside of me.

-
since Justin is using drugs and drinking alcohol again, he will kind of be his bipolar/angry/cocky self for a bit until he weans off of them again. I feel like I took ages to upload this lmao I'll try upload twice a week again. Key word: try.
I hope by the time you read this I've hit 2K reads! Never thought I would get 100 reads let alone 2000! Please don't forget to vote and you are always welcome to leave feedback.

Love always, Mel ❤️