*In process of editing*
Megan's POV
Grayson returned after exactly 10 minutes. I hadn't moved from the position I was in. I was still just staring at the wall, thinking.
"Hey" Grayson said as he sat next to me. I didn't say anything. I was angry. I knew that if I tried to say anything, my anger would just get the better of me. I don't want to take it out on him again.
"Do you want to try and eat something again?" He asked softly.
I just shook my head, my appetite still hadn't come back.
Grayson got up from the bed and turned of the lights. He then took off his jeans and replaced them with jogging bottoms. He took of his shirt and then got back into bed.
"Goodnight" He said as he kissed my forehead.
I don't get it. I was just so rude to him. I told him that I didn't need him. I made him feel terrible. So why is he acting like it never happened?
It's like he knows I didn't mean it. What I said wasn't true. I do need Grayson. He's the only reason why I didn't give up.
I should be thanking him, not pushing him away... but I just can't.
I'm too Cold.
Damien did this to me. He made me like this. I can't seem to get away from it.
But when Grayson had held me back at his house, I felt the warmth of him cancelling out my cold. He said that he was nothing without me, but maybe I need him just as much as he needs me.
I need to find my feelings. I need to find my emotions. The only person that can help me do that is lead right beside me, and what am I doing?
Pushing him away.
I want to feel his warmth.
I want him to hold me the same way he did back at his house.
I want to feel his arms wrapped around me.
I want to hear his heartbeat as I lay my head on his chest.
I want him to run his fingers through my hair.
I want him to kiss my head.
I want him to make me warm again.
I turned over to face Grayson.
I thought he had gone to sleep, but he hadn't.
He was just looking straight back at me. The look of pain plastered on his face.
He thinks that I don't want him. He thinks that I don't need him. He thinks that I don't care about him.
But I know that none of those things are true.
"I'm sorry" I croaked out as a tear slipped from my eye.
He made me find my emotions.
He made me find my feelings.
And how? Just by looking into my eyes with his. Seeing that I had caused him pain.
Grayson immediately moved over to me. He wrapped me in his arms.
I started to cry.
He is all I want, but I can't seem to tell him that.
I silently cried as Grayson held me close, drawing circles on my back with one hand, as his other caressed my jawline and played with my hair. He whispered sweet things in my ear as he kissed my head, in attempts to calm me down. My hand rested upon his bare chest as Grayson's heat radiated of him.
"Megan, you're freezing" Grayson said as he brought my ice cold hands up to his mouth and blew on them with his warm breath. He kissed the back of my hands and interlocked his legs with mine. He pulled at the covers and wrapped us in them.
"Gr-Grayson... I didn't mea-"
"Shhhhh I know. It's okay. It's okay, Megan." Grayson cut me off and cupped my face in his hands.
I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck and brought his face closer to mine. Our foreheads were resting against one another as we stared into each others eyes.
"Grayson, please don't love me. I don't deserve you. All I do is cause you pain" I said as a tear fell from my eye.
"Megan, nothing can stop me from feeling like this about you" He said.
"No. No please. I'm only going to hurt you. I can't see you hurt Grayson" I said as more tears fell. My breaths were heavy as my hands were shaking.
Grayson just pressed his lips against mine. Our lips melted together, they fitted perfectly together just like a jigsaws puzzle.
At first I kissed back, but then I pulled away.
"Grayson, No" I said as I started to sob. He was all that I wanted, but I can't have him.
Grayson only pulled me closer. He kissed down my jawline to my neck. My hands found there way to his hair. The feeling he gave me was delicious, but I couldn't do this.
"Grayson" I breathed out as his hands started to roam my body.
Grayson just carried on.
"Grayson" I said again.
My voice was not helping me at all. It showed how much I was craving him and how much I wanted him to keep going, as everything I was saying came out as a soft moan.
I put my hands on Grayson's chest and said his name one more time as I pushed him away from me.
His eyes stared into mine. I could see the love and lust in his eyes, but behind that, I could still see the pain.
"Please don't make this harder for me than it already is" I said shakily.
"Nothing has to be hard, Megan. I need you. I want you. I can't be without you. I can't just stop myself from loving you. I'm drawn to you. I'm addicted to you. Megan I love you" Grayson said with so much passion.
I didn't know what to say, so I just didn't say anything. I pulled him towards me as he wrapped his arms around my waist, being careful to not touch my wound. My arms were wrapped around his neck as his head rested on me.
I fell asleep with the feeling of guilt flowing through my whole body.
If only he knew that I felt the same way.
