*In process of editing*
Grayson's POV
The tears streamed down my face as I read the letter. My heart had already shattered into a million pieces, and the letter acted like a fucking leaf blower, scattering them all over the place.
She really was gone.
She really wasn't coming back.
But I love her!
I need her!
She said she loves me, she loves me just as much as I love her, but she doesn't want me. I don't think she realises that I can't be without her. I can't live my life without her by my side.
I held the letter to my chest as I cried. I cried and cried, for what seemed like hours. My heart became empty as my eyes became dry, I was no longer myself. The Grayson I used to be, left with her.
My heart was pounding and my breathing was unsteady. I felt like every cell in my body was moving so fast that my veins were blurry. I could hear my banging heart beat from inside my ears sounding like a spastic drum line. I felt like I could feel bees in my ears, a broken white noise machine playing all different sounds at once.
I was holding onto myself like I'm the only lifeline bridging the gap between reality, as I got up on my own two feet and ran. The atomically loud abyss of noises and sounds and feelings rushing through my body at a thousand miles per hour.
I felt like I was drowning, but I felt like I was burning, and I imagined my feet were moving with trails of dust behind them because it felt like I was somehow moving faster than the 60 seconds that make up a minute.
I felt like I was playing catchup on a stopwatch, as my feelings were overwhelming because I was feeling all of them at once.
I felt like my lungs would not contract, as if the air just didn't exist. Everything blurred, maybe from my tears, or the lack of oxygen. I shook and quivered as I screamed with no sound, I couldn't breath.
My heart kept beating faster and faster and my head carried on pounding as the 60 seconds started all over again. My lungs kept rejecting the oxygen I was putting into them as my chest became tight, making me nauseous. My worries controlled my thoughts as I felt my heart crash and burn, my soul pouring out of me.
My chest ached at the thought of her. I felt like everything was closing in around me, I was all shaky and confused as I felt like I was going to die.
My thoughts were so unsettling, as I was sweating and trembling, as my legs wobbled and my heart pulsated out of my chest.
My eyes wouldn't focus, neither would my brain. I was being controlled by my overwhelming feelings, I was being controlled by her.
My anxiety was at its max as my panic would not disappear, my legs still carrying my body as I sprinted down the street. I was pulling at my hair, trying to pull myself back to reality, but nothing worked.
My head was spinning as I was crying uncontrollably, feeling helpless to the unbearable ache.
I was lost.
I was empty.
I was cold.
I, Grayson Dolan, was Benumbed.
