Call it Fate, Call it Karma

Skeptical

I sighed as I dragged myself down the dairy aisle, scanning all the labels on each different brand of milk to see whichever was the most affordable. I eventually settled on a jug and placed it into the basket I'd been carrying.

"Jade!" An unfamiliar voice called from down the aisle.

I squinted my eyes in confusion and stared down the end of the aisle to see a lanky guy with shaggy blonde hair walking up to me with a wave.

"Jade!" he said my name again, stopping in front of me. "Long time no see, huh?"

I scrutinised him for a while...long enough for him to start feeling uncomfortable.

He suddenly realised why I was staring and looked away, a flicker of hurt in his eyes. "You don't...you don't remember me?"

"I'm sorry, no." I said as I turned away to grab something else off of a shelf.

"Remember that party in that rich chick's apartment? We hooked up in her bedroom. Ring a bell?"

"Oh, fuck!" I squeezed my eyes shut, slapping a hand to my face. It was all coming back to me. This was one of the few guys I'd slept with at the trashy parties I went to when I was depressed. I barely remember most of the hookups, due to being drugged up and drunk.

"You remember?"

"Do you come up to every girl you've slept with when you see them in public?" I scowled. I didn't feel like being reminded of one of my many mistakes.

"I'm a friendly guy." he shrugged, his blue eyes glimmering as they looked into mine.

I rolled my eyes. "Well, it was nice to meet you again--"

"Ben."

"Ben, yeah...nice to meet you." I bit down on my tongue as I turned away. "Well, I've gotta go."

"Wait!" he called after me, making me utter a few curse words to myself as I turned back around to face him. "You look nice."

"Thanks?"

"Can I buy you a cup of coffee if you're not busy?"

I sucked in a breath and balled my free hand into a fist out of anxiousness. "Look, man... I'm not really looking for any kinda relationship right now, sorry." That was true. I was planning on laying off any type of intimate relationships for the time being.

"As friends?"

I just wanted the guy to go away. He was only a reminder of my past mistakes. I quickly grabbed one more thing I needed off the shelf, turned away and started to jog.

"What the fuck?" I heard him call after me.

I almost bumped into someone's shopping cart as I fastened my pace.

Once I hastily checked out the groceries and realised I was in the clear, I took a deep breath and started walking home. That encounter pretty much triggered my sad need for substance abuse...so much so, that as soon as I got back to our apartment I popped open a bottle of beer and drank it as if my pathetic life depended on it. Weak...I'm weak.

A few beers in and I was close to crying myself to sleep on the couch, but I suddenly realised that I had nothing to cry about anymore other than the pure mortification of my past mistakes. Julian was back with us and I was slowly starting to better myself, so why cry?

I jumped up and ran over to Albert and I's record player that we had set up in the corner of the living room, and I put on one of my favorite Beatles albums. It was a good decision to be drunk and happy, rather than to be drunk and miserable...like I used to be. My encounter with Ben may have reminded me of a huge mistake, but that mistake was made in the past. Keyword: past.

As I danced around the apartment, I made sure to hide any evidence that I'd been drinking. I didn't want Albert being disappointed in me. I drank quite a lot of water as an attempt to sober up before he and Julian got home. But to no avail...

The door opened and in walked Julian and Albert, talking amongst themselves until they spotted me humming along to a song as I lay on the couch.

Albert walked over to me with a skeptical look on his face. "You alright?"

"Yeah!" I replied with a grin.

Julian lifted up my legs so he could sit down.

"So...get anything done today with the guys?" I asked no one in particular.

Julian shrugged. "Yeah, we jammed a little and recorded a couple songs."

"That's so great!" I cheered. "Which ones? I'd love to hear them!"

"What about you?" Albert narrowed his eyes on me.

"I bought the groceries."

"Anything else happen?"

"Nope."