Call it Fate, Call it Karma

Alone, Together

I sat in Nick's bedroom, finishing a cigarette as I tapped my finger on my thigh to the muffled beat of whatever the guys were playing in the other room. I chose to distance myself almost entirely this time so there wouldn't be any similar issues to the last rehearsal.

I was a little pissed off that no one had come to check on me in two whole hours. It's not that I needed to be checked on, it'd just be nice knowing someone cared enough to pop in and ask if I wanted some tea, perhaps...or to ask my opinion on a song they were working on like they used to often do. That may sound a little conceited, but I was still in a fragile mood from the previous night when I was excited to have a conversation with Julian and he fell asleep on me, which obviously wasn't his fault, but it still kinda hurt.

It was at that point where I found myself smoking some of Nick's weed stash that I'd find in his nightstand drawer. That only made me overthink things more immensely than I usually would, resulting an even more fragile mood, which then lead to myself having a little cry. I felt so alone and sorry for myself in that moment, it was kinda pathetic...but what can you do? Everyone has a little harmless breakdown from time to time.

A couple minutes later, the door swung open and in walked Fab. "Hey, Jade! Ryan's brought over some shirts we can sell at the gig toni-" he stopped himself once he'd quickly caught sight of my mascara and tear stained face. "Holy shit!" He closed to the door and jogged over to me, enveloping me into a hug. "Jade, what's wrong?"

I laughed to myself, sniffling as I hugged him back and pulled away. "Just feeling sorry for myself, it's stupid. I'm okay, I promise." I forced my best reassuring smile. "I'm a bit high, too. Think I might go home."

"Look, I'm not gonna press you on whatever you're sad about, but if you wanna talk about it, I'm always here." Fab said softly, making a genuine smile appear on my face. "And you're not leaving! We're pretty much done anyways. We'll just check out the shirts...and then I'm taking you somewhere to grab a bite before we leave for the gig, okay?"

"That sounds nice. Thank you Fab." I wiped my face and squeezed him in another hug.

"Just saying, if this whole thing is Julian's doing again, I'm kicking his ass. Hardcore." he said, pointing a finger.

I laughed and shook my head. "It's no one's fault but my own." I jumped up and grabbed his wrist. "Let's go!"

Fab and I ended up settling on sitting in a McDonald's for a while. I contently munched on some fries he'd bought me as he told me about something funny a drunken Nick had done a few nights prior.

"...And then he jumped off the balcony and fell into a dumpster!"

"No way!" I cackled, almost choking on a fry. "Oh my god!" I laughed so hard I spilt a little soda on my shirt. Looking down at it, I groaned.

Fab laughed and handed me a napkin. "We'll head back now and you can change into one of our new shirts!"

"And look like a total groupie at the gig? Can't wait!"

He shook his head with a soft chuckle. "Shut up."

"Roll out!" Nick called out as he ushered everyone to the door. "We've got some fans to please!"

"Don't get cocky, Valensi!" I elbowed him, holding Albert's guitar above my head. "Guys, let me through before I drop this!"

"You'll do no such thing!" called Albert from the bathroom.

"Well hurry up the fuck up then! It's slipping!" I teased, knowing very well I had good grip on it. Albert's distressed shriek echoed in the bathroom, earning a laugh from everyone in the room.

Eventually, we all made it out of the apartment and to the venue in one piece, surprisingly.

I had barely said a word to Julian all day, so it was a little awkward when we ended up alone together in the dressing room when everyone else had gone out to get drinks from the bar before the show.

I sat, awkwardly flipping through a guestbook I'd found in the room somewhere while I was looking for an excuse to avoid eye contact with Julian. It was working quite well until he cleared his throat, gathering my attention. My eyes narrowed on him. He looked a little nervous. Was he nervous because there was gonna be a huge crowd tonight...or was he nervous to speak to me?

"Um, are you okay?" he asked, then hastily finishing the bottle of beer he was given when he arrived.

I forced a smile, looking back down at the book. With a pen, I scribbled The Strokes onto one of the pages under the last bands name. "Yeah...thanks."

His brow furrowed. "Don't do this to me, Jade."

"Do what?" I slammed the book closed, throwing it on the couch beside me. Were we finally about to talk?

Before he could answer, Ryan poked his head in. "You're on in five! Let's go!"

Julian looked at me agitatedly before getting up to leave.

"Good luck." I mumbled to myself, swallowing the lump in my throat.