Call it Fate, Call it Karma

Studio

After meeting The Strokes' future producer, Gordon, and some other pretty important people who I couldn't remember the names of, the guys all set up their stuff and immediately started jamming to test out the feel of the place.

Fab hadn't had his own drumkit to practice on in such a long time, so he was truly ecstatic. I watched with a warmness in my heart as his curls bounced with every movement and the grin on his face only grew bigger.

I walked into the recording booth where Julian was examining the mics and I sat on a stool in the corner. It took him a few seconds to take off a pair of headphones and realise I was there.

"Hey," I said with a smile. "...enjoying yourself?"

"This is fucking amazing." he beamed, his eyes widening as he looked at his surroundings once more.

He looked so happy, it made me fill with even more excitement and apparently I was so ecstatic that I lunged forward and just kissed him. I immediately pulled away, even though it felt kinda amazing and sent courses of electricity through me, and I gasped. "I'm so sorry, oh my god!"

Julian looked a little shocked, but not repulsed or anything. "Why are you sorry?"

"I dunno, it's just...we haven't kissed or anything in a while and we haven't been that close recently so I thought maybe it'd be weird."

He paused, furrowing his brow. "We...we haven't been close?"

"You know we haven't." I grunted as I turned away. "You're always out working or rehearsing which obviously isn't your fault, but it just sucks...and you're always tired and just never yourself. It hurts to see you like that." I swallowed the lump in my throat and stood up. "Today's the happiest I've seen you in weeks, Jules." I waited for him to say something, but he took too long. "Anyways, todays supposed to be fun and everything, so I'm sorry if I dampened the mood...just forget about it and enjoy yourself, okay? We can talk later." And with that, I left the booth and strode over to Fab.

"Hey!" he greeted me with his signature gleeful grin as he rested his drumsticks down on a nearby amp.

I sat on amp next to the other one. "How's it goin'?"

"Too good!" he exclaimed. "This setup is wicked!"

"Ooh, can I try?" I asked, leaning in as I studied the kit. "I've never tried drumming before."

"Absolutely! Sit!" Fab looked so thrilled about my sudden interest in drums and he moved over to pull me onto the seat behind the kit immediately. He handed me the sticks, manoeuvred my foot onto the pedal and he sat back a bit to give me some space.

"What do I do now?" I asked, a quizzical expression forming as I examined the drums. "Where do I start?"

"Anywhere you like." he said with a soft chuckle. "Just hit something."

I took a sharp breath in and hit a cymbal. It was louder than I thought it was gonna be and it startled me, so I instantly retracted my arm and looked over at Fab with pleading eyes.

Fabrizio laughed as he brought himself to his feet. "You hit it too hard, man!" He came up behind me and placed his arms over mine. He guided me from behind, and soon enough, I was keeping a beat. "You're doin' it!" He clapped and stepped back.

"Woo! Go Jade!" Nick cheered. He then started playing some sort of riff that fit perfectly with the beat I was playing.

Nikolai joined in, and so did Albert. It sounded a little messy, but it was still a decent jam. Fab danced over to Julian and yanked him out of the booth. "Come dance, Jules! My favorite bands playing!"

Julian caught sight of me on the drums and raised his eyebrows in surprise. He then started tapping his foot to the beat and joined in, ridiculously dancing with Fab. It didn't take long for me to mess up my momentum and cause everyone to stop playing though.

"It was fun while it lasted!" I announced, stifling a laugh. "I think I'll leave the drums to you though, Fabrizio."

"You were great!" exclaimed Fab, taking the sticks from me as I handed them to him.

"Yeah that was pretty rad, Jade." Julian said, almost awkwardly as he scratched the back of his neck.

I scrutinised him for a few seconds. He looked nervous. "You okay?" I mouthed to him.

He shrugged, then quickly tilting his head to the side as he turned on his heel. I'm pretty sure he was motioning for me to follow him, so I did.

I followed him out of the studio and into an empty hallway. Julian stopped and leant his back against a wall once I'd caught up. I said nothing and just raised a brow inquisitively, waiting for him to speak.

"I swear I haven't been neglecting you on purpose or anything," he said, anxiously chewing his bottom lip.  "...and you're right, I have been super caught up in work and I'm sorry."

My brow furrowed, but I still said nothing.

"I remember you telling me you miss me...and I get that." he paused, taking in a breath. "I'm sorry." He looked down at his feet, pretty much hanging his head in shame. He just looked so disappointed in himself and it broke my heart a little. "I just want this music thing to work out so bad I've been trying to get as much money as possible for recording and everything. It's kinda selfish, and I'm just now realising that and I'm so sorry."

I stepped closer to him and sighed as I placed a finger under his chin to lift up his head so he was looking at me. The genuine sadness in his eyes made me want to cry, but I pulled him into a warm hug instead, burying my face in the crook of his neck. "Don't be sorry, Jules." I squeezed him tighter, smiling when I felt his arms wrap around my waist. "It's not your fault at all. Music should be your number one priority right now and I'm sorry I've been getting in the way of that sometimes. I just...I love you...like, a lot...and I wanna be around you all the time, but it sucks when you're tired or too caught up in something." Julian sighed and rested his head on my shoulder as I spoke. "I know you wanna work hard and everything, and you have been! I think it's time you quit your job, Julian."

He pulled away from me with a frown. "Are you crazy?!"

"No. If anything, you're fucking crazy!" I yelped, stepping back. "You guys are more than well off. In fact, a couple of you could easily afford to quit your jobs. It's just pointless, Jules. You're overworking yourself for pretty much nothing."

"For nothing?!" he spat, his nostrils flaring. "Are you kidding me?!" I hadn't seen him this angry in a while. "I don't work those long hours for fucking nothing!" he continued to lash out, making me step back a little.

"I know you just wanna prove to people you don't need a rich parent to survive, but no one fucking thinks that, Julian! You haven't seen your dad in years! You don't need to prove yourself to anyone!"

His face softened and the look of sadness returned in his eyes as soon as I mentioned his dad, but it quickly went away and was replaced by another frown. "Fuck you." he muttered, before storming off back into the studio. I slid down, my back to the wall as I breathed heavily. I felt like I was about to cry, but I wasn't going to let myself.

Just when we were about to make progress and maybe take a step forward in our sad excuse of a relationship—if you could even call it that, a petty argument started and took us back 2 steps, which was probably my fault—I could've broken the news to him a little less harsher than I initially did.