A new beginning

.13.

The next morning I'm happier than ever. Chloe told me that she loved me last night. Well, she only said it because she was drunk, but I don't care. I don't know if I can go on like this. I really like Chloe, but Tom's between us. What am I saying right now? Tom is right to be with Chloe, because he's her boyfriend. I need to take some distance from Chloe. Every time I'm near her, I want to kiss her and maybe even more. My fantasy is going far though. My dreams are full of Chloe and my mother. I look to my nightstand. There are only three pictures on it. 1; my mother, 2; my brothers and 3; my little sister. Those three people I miss the most. I don't have any pictures of my father, but I don't care. He didn't care about me either, so why would I care about him? O crap, Chloe is probably waiting for me at Starbucks! Quickly I get up, grab my phone and text Chloe real quick that I'm on my way.

,,Beca, what's wrong?" Amy looks towards me while I'm running through our room.

,,I'm late for my meeting with Chloe. You know the coffee?"

,,You mean you're date."

,,It's not a date."

,,It kinda is. You two are together every morning. It's like you two are dating."

,,What? I'm – we – um..."

,,You're cute when you are blushing."

,,I'm not blushing and we just hang out as friends, nothing more." Then my phone goes off.

,,I bet that's Chloe to say that she miss you and that she wants to kiss you."

,,Ha ha, very funny!" But on the inside I like the idea of Chloe and I kissing. What?! Beca, stop thinking about Chloe this way! Tom is her boyfriend and she's in love with him, not with you.

Chloe: I'm really sorry Becs, but I can't come to Starbucks today :(

Beca: Aw, why not?

Chloe: Tom wants to drink something with me.

Beca: Okay, I'll get it.

Chloe: Don't be sad. We can see each other at the Bella's rehearsal.

Beca: I guess.

,,And? Was it Chloe?" I nod. ,,Boyah! I'll get something, I won the bet."

,,I didn't bet with you and she canceled."

,,What?! You are kidding me right?"

,,Does this face like I'm kidding?" I'm sad. Who thought that one message can ruin your whole day?

,,I'm sorry." Amy gives me a hug and spontaneous I begin to cry. ,,Hé, what's wrong?" Amy look me in the eye and whip away my tears. She let me sit on my bed and hold me in her arms.

,,I don't get it. I thought she liked this whole coffee time every morning."

,,Maybe she doesn't want to hurt you by telling it in your face."

,,This is worse you know?"

,,Through message wasn't smart, I'll admit it, but it's just one time Beca."

,,How do you know that?"

,,Because she didn't canceled it forever right? Only today."

,,That's true."

,,You know what?" I look up at her and she wipe some tears away again. ,,I'll go with you to Starbucks, maybe we can ask Jesse and Benji to come with us. We make our own tradition."

,,Thank you, but as long as Chloe doesn't stop this forever, I'm going with her."

,,I understand." Amy stand up. ,,Now get up and take a shower, you look awful!" She give me a wink and I laugh sarcastically.

,,Gee thanks." I roll with my eyes, grab some towels and walk out of our room to the showers.

When I'm in the showers I'm thinking about my past. My parents who fought all the time and the fact that Nina and I we were blamed for everything. The hitting, the screaming, everything... it broke Nina and I. Every night we were singing the same song. "Broken home" from 5 seconds of summer. We were sitting in my bedroom and song quietly. Most of the time only the chorus, because that's the mean reason of our questions. When did you lose your happiness? I really want to know, because they were happy once. What happened between them to be torn apart? I can't ask my mother, because she died and I don't want to see my dad, because he will continue hitting me like always and Nina... I don't even see her anymore. And I don't think she knows. I sigh a little and starts to sing. Nobody can hear me right now. Chloe is out with Tom and well, it's early.

Hey mom, hey dad

When did this end?

When did you lose your happiness?

I'm here alone inside of this broken home...

Who's right, who's wrong?

Who really cares?

The fault, the blame, the pain's still there

I'm here alone inside of this broken home, this broken home...

I thought that I could trust Chloe, but I guess I was wrong. Amy is my best friend, together with Jesse and Benji. Right now, they are the only person I can trust. Maybe I can see Nina one time, but she's at elementary school. I don't have any contact with her, because I don't have her number. I miss her like crazy, because Jeremy, Damian, Nina and I were very close. So close that everyone thought that we were best friends. The moment mom and dad broke up, Damian moved to Europe, Nina left to live with mom, Jeremy was already living in Miami with his wife and I was forced to stay with my father. Damian and Nina don't even know how bad he treated me. It was awful, I was hit by my father and I got the blame for everything. That Damian left, that my mom left, that Nina left... everything. At my school they did the same, but for no reason. They just hated me and I hated myself too. I had nobody who loved me, only my mother but she was hours away from me and my father never let me go to her. I haven't seen Nina for years, I don't think she recognize me if she saw me and Damian... well, he's a father now. He has a beautiful daughter, named Fabienne. I'm desperate to see them again. I want to hug my little sister, my big brothers and of course my little niece.

,,Beca, are you still in here?" Amy yell.

,,Don't come closer!" I cover my naked body.

,,Why would I – Ulg, that's gross! You need to hurry, Bella's practice is in about a half an hour."

,,What?! O my god, Aubrey's going to kill me!" I yell, grab my towel and run back to our dorm, while Amy is running after me laughing. 

A/N: Sorry for the bad quality from the YouTube video, I couldn't find a good version. If you want to listen to it properly, you have to download: Sound Good, Feels Good from 5 seconds of summer.