A new beginning

.35.

It's been twelve days. Beca's lost. She doesn't know where she is or who she is. It's been twelve days since she woke up from her coma. She knows that we are her friends, but nothing more. She doesn't know that I'm in love with her or that she's in love with me. The doctor comes back inside. He makes his way to Beca, his eyes on the clipboard in his hands.

,,How are you feeling Beca?" his eyes meet hers now.

,,Crazy. I see things that I'm not supposed to see. And I can't un-see it. Not even if I wanted too."

,,What do you mean?" I ask her.

,,I see my mom. In this bedroom, smiling and talking to me, even she's dead." I look over to the others and they just shrug there shoulders. How can Beca see dead people?

,,Hey Beca." Jesse and Emily walks in.

,,Hi." Emily say, but Beca doesn't say anything. ,,Do you remember us?"

,,Don't be offended but I don't really remember anything right now." Jesse and Emily frown and look to me worried.

,,Does she remember you?" I shake my head. The only thing Beca remembers is our first meeting, nothing more.

,,Hey, I do remember you Chloe."

,,Why aren't you holding hands then?"

,,What do you mean?" Beca asks Aubrey, which she only remembers as a blur.

,,Chloe is your girlfriend, so why don't you hold hands?"

,,She's my - what?!" The monitor is beeping like hell and I'm scared. What if Beca gets a panic attack and dies? Now Amy and Benji walks in, Beca's best friends. Beca looks at them and slow down a little bit. Does she remember them? ,,Who are you guys? I mean I know we used to be best friends but I don't remember you guys at all." Amy just gasp and Benji starts crying. Beca's eyes find mine. ,,Please tell me who they are. Please tell me who I am." She begs, but I shake my head.

,,It's better if you find out for yourself." Tears start to escape my eyes when I see Beca tear up.

,,Can't you see?! I can't! I don't remember a damn thing about my life! I have been in this effing hospital room for weeks and barely remember anything! If you guys really are my friends, you would tell me!" She starts crying harder. She's lost and I can't help her...

I wake up and I cry. Fourteen days, it's been two weeks and Beca's still in coma. What if my dream come true? What if Beca doesn't remember anything? What if she gets a panic attack and kills herself? What if she doesn't love me anymore? What if? Are there positive thoughts about this? I can't think positive for now, not after my nightmare. I don't want Beca to suffer, but she already does. She's been fighting for her life for two weeks now and there's nothing what has changed. She's still in that stupid coma and I am still mad at myself for hooking up with Tom. I've been crying for the past days, just thinking about Beca's reaction. I need to tell her that I'm not longer in love with Tom, but in love with her.

,,I want to see you laugh, Becs. I can't wait forever, please wake up. I miss you like crazy!" I can't take it anymore and walk out of the room and out of the hospital. It's cold outside, so I put on my blue winter coat and my purple hat I put on my head. I have to fight the tears. My coat isn't closed by the way, but I don't care. I just needed some fresh air. Every day that Beca stays in coma, is a day too much. I need her so much and the waiting is killing me. I know she's fighting for her life, but some times I wish I could help her. I wish she could see how much of an affect this has on everybody. Jesse and Benji are down, they don't paying attention to everything. Jesse even get out of the Trebles. He's on a break, but still. I can't believe Bumper actually told him that. He knows what's going on with Beca. How can he be this heartless? Amy is lost and seek an answer in music. A good distraction from everything, if I say so. Miley has told me to take a break either and I'm really glad Beca and I get the chance to work with her and to live with her. She's an amazing singer, performer and actrice, but she's also an amazing friend. From the start she's been here for us. Beca's father, Beca's grief about her mother when she sang "Someone's watching over me" for us. I cry myself to sleep every night, because I miss her so much. Every time I want to sing, Beca gets into my head and I can't. I can't sing without her. I think everyday about her and flashbacks in my head let me know that I can't give up on her. And I won't give up on her! My mind is traveling back to moments of Beca. The time we were in the canteen and Jesse showed us a stupid movie. Beca just said: "O my god, that's so stupid!". Or the time we had a performance with the Bella's and Beca just laughs and did a stupid thing with her hand with the flute to put our tone. I don't even know what she was doing, but I know that everybody laughed with her, including Aubrey. It wasn't easy for Beca to open up to somebody with her past, but I'm glad she opened up to me. It takes strength and courage to open up and expose the tender parts of her heart to me. I don't know what she did to me, but I'm head over heels in love with her. Her smile is perfect, her eyes are beautiful and her vulnerable side, that only her closest friends are able to see, is making me fall even more for her.