A new beginning

.17.

The closer I get to the school, the more frightened I become. I see the bikes of Raymond and Taylor and Misha I see in the distance with Cameron, Alexis and Jane. I found Jane always a nice girl to see, but now she is bullying, I find her really stupid. I can not find much there, because I'm the one who is abnormal. My life is a great mystery. I never know what will happen or with how many bruises I go to home. The question is whether I'll still be home, if I still stand it. I keep myself strong for four years, this year is my fifth year, is this not enough? Do I have to stop fighting and go against it? The moment that my front wheel comes in the schoolyard, I see Misha already come to me, along with Raymond and Taylor. Quickly I step off my bike. Yes, I have no desire to be drawn from my bike.

,,Look who's here. Piglet." Taylor laughs sheepishly. I look ahead, but without facial expression, you can not see how I feel.

,,Was it nice in the hospital?" Raymond looks at me. As if he feels sorry for me, do not make me laugh!

,,I think Piglet has lost its tongue." Misha grabs my ponytail, I actually almost always got in, and pulls very hard, so hard that my head is going to the back. It hurts, but I've learned to deal with pain. ,,How often do we have to cultivate you before you get better?" he asks, but I say nothing. Often it's smarter not to respond to his comments.

,,Hey, he asks something of you!" Calls Raymond and put his fist in my stomach. Because of the pain I want to dive together, but I can not do that because Misha has still grip on my hair.

,,Guys, come help. Piglet needs some help with talking." Taylor gestures to Jane, Cameron and Alexis. The three of them also come to me and now there are six people around me. No one in the schoolyard interferes with it.

,,If you'd just open your mouth, we may stop." I look at Taylor. Yeah, sure! Like I believe. And my mouth will, for the first time this morning, open and I dare to say something.

,,Taylor, if you let me alone for once, I can continue with my life."

,,Oh, she's trying to hurt me. How sweet!" Misha let my hair down and Taylor wraps her arm around my neck. It's almost a stranglehold, so tight around it. Kill me please! I feel that they kick me four times on my legs, and then I find myself lying on the ground in pain.

,,You're just so ugly!"

,,You do not look good."

,,Dumb bitch!"

,,Strange child, with your ugly face!" I hear all the comments, but I do not want to hear it. I wish I could hear nothing more, no comments, no laughter ... nothing.

I shoot upright in my bed screaming. The sweat is literally on my forehead and back. These nightmares I have not had for a while, why are they back? The effect is still the same, though. Every time I see their faces in front of my eyes, I want to run away, as far away from them from. The evil laugh from Taylor still echoes through my mind. Why is it so hard to forget the bullying? Should I follow the advice of Chloe and talk to a psychologist? I'm not sure I can handle it. Every memory hurts. I want to talk about it, but not with a psychologist. I have to trust that person. I'm going to lie on my back again and find it strange that Amy did not wake up by my screams. Normally she is the first person to comfort me. Shall I send a message to Chloe? She told me that I could text her if I ever get a nightmare again, but that was before she told me to stay away from her.

Beca: Hi, I'm sorry to text you. But before our fight you told me that I could text you whenever I had a nightmare again. Guess what? I just had one... :'(