Thwaites & Thompson

Alive

~~~~~

Thwaites

I get startled awake, drenched in my own sweat...
I move my arm and knock the bottle of Hennessy off the bed.
I grunt but then I immediately get off of my bed, struggling with the bed cover as I untangle it from between my legs.

I head to the bathroom and as soon as I wash down two Aspirins and toss my face with cold water, I freeze for a moment.

"Tess..." My heart sinks.
She's moving out...

I instantly dry my face before I rake through my hair with my own fingers and then slip on a shirt before I storm out of my room.

I stop amid the hallway when she steps out of her room, dragging her suitcase out.
No no no...

She freezes when she spots me and I instantly move forward, walking towards her.

She takes a step away from me again and I frown at her.
Why is she threatened by me?

"I'm all set..." She musters a smile and wipes her brow with her thumb.

I glance sideways and my chest tightens when I notice that her room went from being her room to the way it was, the guest's room, empty, lifeless, and dull...

She attempts to move again but I instantly move to stand before her.
My breath was raging and my heart was beating hard...

"Is it because of what I said last night?" I ask, speaking in haste.
I worried my heart would stop any moment now...

Why is she leaving?!
My rage built up.

"But we're grown ups!" I almost flare.
"I was being honest damn it!" I stress down on my jaw hard I feel it spasm.

"Really?" Her eyes were sharp and her face was stern.

I almost gave away...
I figured it'd be best if I looked away.

"It doesn't matter now..." She shrugs and I continue frowning at her. How could she be so goddamn cruel?!
I almost broke down and look at her nonchalance!

"You said you'd let me leave if you knew that the other place is somewhere I would feel safe."

"Is it?" I jerk my chin towards her and she worries her jaw for a moment.

"Yes. I'm moving in with Madonna. It's pretty safe..." She nods once and my chest tightens further.

She's leaving me for Madonna?

The sounds in my head made it even worse...

"Will you be able to sleep? No nightmares?" I eye her challengingly and she nods again.

"I'm never letting him get to me again. Not even in my sleep..."
"I realized back then I was young, foolish, innocent..." Her voice softens.
"No more now..."
"I'm dealing with this." She nods once and the strength and determination in her eyes worry me that maybe she really doesn't need me anymore...

So I try my luck one last time. I try the weakest of faith...

"And me?" I don't recognize my own voice...
I wanted to scream at her...
I wanted to tell her that if I were her, I'd not let me go...
Not now...

I feel my shoulders slack as I stare into her eyes hopelessly...

She takes a few steps closer to me and I feel the ground beneath me slowly slip away...

She tiptoes and then wraps her arms around my shoulders, hugging me tightly, knocking all the wind out of me.

Dé-ja-fucking-vu...
I let my lids fall shut and this moment with Amanda flashes before my eyes...