His Boxy Smiles

Chapter 42

{ Dear my beloved readers,
I have no idea if I'm making any sense in this chapter so please do leave your comments. Tell me what you think about this chapter because I'm as sleepy as an owl in the morning while writing this. And I'm sorry if I haven't been updating. I'll make it up to you guys somehow. Promise! <3<3<3
Love, KezLois .}
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Taehyung's not physically getting worse. He was actually recovering well with all the hours he put into sleeping and suffering through his nightmares.

But Emotionally and mentally? Oh it's killing him painfully slow. But he didn't mind.

A punishment is a punishment. He just had to suck it up.

Are his members doing well? Are they sleeping properly? Are they eating regularly? Are they still mad at him?

He wanted to see them. Badly he does.

He wanted them to know how sorry he was and how wrong he was about everything.

His time alone made him see things clearly.

His excuse for his evasion of things that are related to his accident and current predicament was that he didn't want to burden his members or anyone any further than he already had. Although there's some truth to that, it wasn't entirely the reason why.

In actuality, he had been scared to speak of the memories or flashbacks of the accident that came to him in nightmares. He didn't know why but he was scared of describing it in words.

Maybe because if he spoke of it, it'll hit him hard. Harder than it already was. Maybe because if he speak of it out loud, everything in his nightmares might just be real; that he was dead for real. That this was all just a dream and he'd never be able to see his members again.

It sounds ridiculous and absurd as if he's out of his mind but that was how he felt. He could be dead for all he knew and this was what the after life had presented to him.

Be it or not, something like this wasn't an easy subject to speak of.

Deep inside him, he knew this wasn't entirely his fault. But how could he not think otherwise?

He f***ed up bad. Real bad.

And so he didn't expect to see one of his stuffed toys sitting on the table right in front of him the moment he woke up. Not at all.

Taehyung frowned in confusion.

What was it doing there? Why was it there?

That's when he noticed a card tucked in one of its armpits.

With heavy limbs, he reached for the card and studied it.

It was a simple 4 by 5 inch card with a black hand written message on it.

Get well soon! Hug him well! I can comfort you somehow that way.

Taehyung's frown deepened.

He knew exactly who it was from. He could recognise that handwriting anywhere.

He eyed the bear that was staring at him innocently. He would laugh in any other circumstances but he was so confused he couldn't find it in himself.

He remembered how he told Hoseok how this bear reminded him of him.

It was when he first got the bear from a fansign. He had joked that it looked like him but he was telling the truth. He guessed J-Hope knew he wasn't entirely joking given the fact that he used the bear as his representative.

Taehyung's eyes shifted back to the card. He flipped it and saw a big heart shape with I Love You written inside it.

What are they up to? He didn't deserve this. Why would his hyung do such a thing?

He was at fault. He screwed up real bad. He wasn't supposed to be treated this way. Not with a letter of assurance or brotherly affection. Not a hand written one at that but silent treatments. If the letter is needed at all, it should be of words of disappointment, disapproval, anything at all that should make him feel horrible and repentant.

Taehyung's heart swelled and before he knew it, silent tears were rolling down his cheeks.

He grabbed the bear and hugged it tightly.

"You're being stupid, hyung," he let out more tears. "I miss you."