His Boxy Smiles

Chapter 50

{ Dear my beloved readers,
I'm so sorry T.T As it turned out, my writer's block kicked my ass for two (or three?) weeks instead. I'm really really really sorry. I'm too ashamed to even reply some of you T.T This chapter (I think) isn't up to standards so please have mercy on me. I'll try to update faster next time. And also thank you, always, for reading this story of mine. Please still stick with me until the end! I love you guys!

Love, KezLois }
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Jimin held onto the notebook as if it was his life line. His hands were shaking and he absolutely had no idea how he could read through his best friend's writing for the third time.

It was hand written. Taehyung had written everything.

Everything.

That was what they've all been waiting for, right? For Taehyung to tell them everything? They'd even caused the boy physical pain when they so openly and angrily confronted him about it that one night and yet... Yet...

I asked of this? I asked Taehyung for all of this?

If Jimin had known of the depth of Taehyung's poisonous thoughts, then he wouldn't have...

I wouldn't have...

But then again, if they hadn't, Taehyung would have kept this much to himself.

Each word written pierced through his chest like a knife. He could only imagine what Taehyung must have felt like all these times. And writing this? It must have taken a lot of energy, if not his sanity and emotional stability, to be able to do this right.

Beside him, he could feel Jungkook breathing heavily, as if he was trying his best to calm himself down. It was safe to say that the maknae was on the verge of a breakdown and Jimin couldn't really blame him for he too, could feel his calm demeanor melting very fast.

Earlier, when Dr Lee and Mrs Woo told them about Taehyung's tranced state, their bloods practically ran cold. The other day, he was fine, then suddenly, they were being told that something's gone awry again? Right then, Jimin was about ready to rage at no one in particular (maybe the universe) because every time something good finally happens, every time they got closer to breaking down Taehyung's walls, somewhere along the way, things would go the wrong turn. Jimin had thought that that was exactly what's going to happen again but oh this was different. This was not just some same old 'Taehyung being closed off and pushing us all away' kind of problem. Heck, this was a whole other problem they had to deal with! This was actually Taehyung, (finally) reaching out. This was Taehyung sharing his burdens and pain like they had asked.

At first, when they were handed the notebook and told that Taehyung had wanted them to have it, dark thoughts swirled their brains. Jimin hated to admit it but the first thing that had crossed his mind then was that. He knew for a fact that the others thought of the same thing because the corridor suddenly became ridiculously quiet. Jimin practically heard everyone's breathing still. No one even made a move to, at the very least, touch the notebook. They just stared at it in fear of what was written inside it, almost to a point where it looked like they were glaring fire balls at it in the hopes that it would just burn right there and then. Oh, but when Jimin took it upon himself to confirm his thoughts, he was ashamed that he- no, they thought that Taehyung would do something so cowardly as to commit suicide because they should have known better than that. He should have known that his best friend, despite his soft exterior, was stronger than that- stronger than any of them could ever possibly be.

In the painful silence that had fallen upon them, Jungkook sniffled. That made Jimin glance at the others. They must have seen the terror in his eyes because they looked right back at him in scared curiosity.