Nightmare

Chapter Thirty-Four

Zack

I stood outside of the tent waiting for Desiree and Barbra to come out. But Desiree never did. I was so mad at Barbra that when I saw her walking alone out I didn't wait for her or even bother to ask her where Dez went.

I thought that maybe Dezzy had gone with Kat and Matt to take pictures, after all she was hired by us to be our person photographer. This was the wedding that should have happened from the beginning and they would want photos.

But cocktail hour came and went, no Desiree. Then we all went into the reception, still no Dez. Even when Kat and Matt walked in she wasn't to be found.

I waited around all night looking for her. After about two hours it was obvious, she wasn't here and she wasn't coming.

I said my goodbyes and congratulations to everyone, walking up stairs. She had to be in the room. Where else  could she be? Well as long as she didn't go home.

I unlocked the hotel room door opening and the room was black. There wasn't a light on in the place, but a relieved sighed escaped me when I saw Desiree's laptop still sitting on the little dining table. Thankfully she was here.

I quietly walked into the bedroom stepping out of my shoes and pants removing my shirt and climbing into bed next to her.

She didn't stir, her breath was slow and quiet she was very obviously asleep. I turned on the bed side lamp onto the lowest setting looking at her. Her face was red around her nose and there were tear stains on her pillow.

I'm sure hearing those two awful bitches tell the entire band about what she had lost probably brought up terrible memories.

Of course when I heard it I was mad. I was fucking pissed. I was mad that those two would be the ones to tell it to the world. I was mad she had gone threw that. Yeah I was mad.

It was terrible, no woman should have to go threw it. But the person I was the most mad at was Jimmy and secondly Barbra. I know Jimmy, I loved him he was my best friend but back then he wouldn't let nothing stand in the way of us hitting big. I can honestly believe that Jimmy would have pushed Desiree to do something like that.

Of course he would see it as a hindrance and not a miracle. Not something he did, but something she did to probably keep him around. Jimmy in those days was so focused on the band nothing wouldn't stand in his way. I remember not having any money to eat and no where to stay but he would keep saying we can sleep in the van, we can eat steak when we hit it big.

He probably dropped her off at the clinic and told her he'd give her another baby when he made it big or something to that affect.

And Barbra, I don't know if what Victoria had said was true her putting Jimmy up to it, but damn it that made me mad if it were true. I thought she loved Desiree. She should have been there supporting her. Or raised her son better so he would have supported Desiree.

To make matters worse, she lost her ability to even have kids. That in its self was enough punishment. Even if she didn't want kids ever, the right and ability should have never been snatched away from her against her will.

It made me sick to think about that. I looked over at her and it broke my heart. I could picture her pregnant and beautiful. She would probably make a terrific mother.

I softly wrapped my arms around her pulling her to me, I needed to hold her. She needed to be held.

"Get off of me" She screamed jumping

"Desiree baby its me calm down" I whispered holding her close

"Zack?" Dez asked shocked "What are you doing here?"

"Well, if you didn't remember Kat and I switched rooms." I smiled "And I wanted to sleep with my girlfriend."

"You did?" She sighed settling back into my chest

"Of course I did" I smiled kissing the top of her head softly "Why wouldn't I?"

"You have to be kidding me" Dez snapped "After what those two cunts said about me today."

"No, I'm not kidding" I sighed

"But you were angry I saw it in your eyes" Desiree accused me

"I was angry." I agreed "At them for ruining things for Matt and Kat, for viciously saying what happened to you, but mostly I was mad at Jimmy."

"Jimmy?" Dezzy questioned looking at me

"Yeah Jimmy, and Barbra" I nodded

"Why?" She demanded

"Well, I thought Barbra loves you." I snapped getting annoyed.

"Of course she does." Dex exclaimed "She's like a second mom, she had no clue. None. What Victoria said was a lie."

"Was it?" I asked thankful I hoped Barbra wouldn't have done her like that.

"Yes it was." Dez smiled "She was the one who helped me get back into school. Gave me a place to stay when my grandmother kicked me out. That's why Jimmy lived in that laundromat.

"Are you serious?" I exclaim happy

"Yeah." Desiree laughed.

"But Jimmy?" I questioned.

I watched Desiree's face darken a little "Jimmy"

"Yeah did he really tell you where to go?" I asked her.

"He dropped me off with the money." Desiree whispered "With the money. No idea where he got it. But he said he had a little and the doctor only charged one hundred and fifty dollars. I figured Jimmy loved me enough that he wouldn't take me somewhere that would hurt me."

"But you were wrong" I snapped

"I don't know." She shrugged "I don't think he knew it was going to go down the way it did."

"Well what happened?" I asked. I probably really didn't want to know what happened. But for some reason I had to know Jimmy's role in it. I don't know why it mattered, but it did. It did a lot.

"He dropped me off" Desiree began explaining staring at the wall "I went in filled out some papers, paid the money. They took me to a room, put an IV in, I got really sleepy. I woke up and I was in really bad pain. They gave me a bottle of pain killers and sent me home. I called Jimmy but he didn't answer. So I took the bus. I went home fell asleep. When I woke up I was covered in blood."

"Oh god" I whispered feeling sick.

"Yeah, well my Nana took me to the hospital and of course they told her what happened. I had to have surgery to stop the bleeding. She kicked me out. I called Jimmy, he wasn't there. So I talked to Barbra. She came and got me when I was released from the hospital since I had no where to go." Dezzy sighed "Anyhow Jimmy wasn't happy at all. He was going on tour and so Barb and Joe kicked him out."

"Everything Rachel said was true?" I asked her.

"Sort of" Desiree agreed shrugging

"You tried to commit suicide?" I asked her. I knew of the one time

"Yeah, well, I mean he dumped me after. The hospital Barb got me from was the mental institution." Dez sighed.

"Oh god." I shook my head wrapping my arms a little tighter around her. "Why did you even love him god he was awful to you."

"Zack that's not nice"  she chided me

"He wasn't either" I snapped kissing her.

"We were young he didn't force me, granted it was his idea but still" Dez shrugged again.

"I wouldn't have made you do it." I stated "I wouldn't have even suggested it."

"So I take it you want children" She sighed as a worried look passed over her face.

"Yeah, but it doesn't have to be in the traditional sense" I shrugged winking at her.

I leaned down and kissed her. God I was falling in love with her.