Nightmare

Chapter 13

Dezzy

I didn't sleep again.

I didn't even want to try. I laid there all night crying.

When Zack got up and stomped out of my room slamming doors in his wake. There was no denying it, he knew.

He knew about Jimmy. I should have known the no its he said his name.

Thinking about it now he said I murmured the name James, not Jimmy. But I guess it didn't matter. He knew anyways.

He was angry.

Chances were the rest of the band knew by now too. How would I face them?

I had no words for any of them. An apology would seem lack luster. Almost a smack in the face.

Worst of all is the pain of what I know is only the fact of losing Zack.

It felt like the walls in this room were closing in on me. I was trapped.

I could t stay shut in here forever. Eventually I would have to face them all.

I laid there for a few more minutes then decided I had to get up.

I drug my miserable ass into my bathroom changing clothes and applying some make up to hide my dark circles.

I'm going to go down to the lobby get me some coffee and breakfast.

I couldn't stay locked up forever.

When I opened the door my mind registered the sound of another door opening and I stuck my head out just as Zack was closing his door.

He looked at me glaring. My blood ran cold in my veins as he stomped away down the hall. It was beyond clear, he was mad. Also. He was walking away from me.

It felt like my heart was breaking and I just wanted to sob.

I held back the tears and retreated back into my room throwing myself onto the couch with a frustrated groan.

What the Fuck had I done?

Why did I ever agree to come with them?

Beyond any of that how had I allowed myself to become so vulnerable that I spilled most of my secrets to Zack? Of all people?

How was there a growing attraction for him building in me?

Why did it hurt so bad when he walked out? What was I honestly expecting?

Did I really think that he would accept the fact I was Jimmy's ex-girlfriend?

How could he?

A soft knock on my door startled me.

I couldn't bury the hope it was Zack, but when I opened the door there stood Kat.

"Hey" I whispered letting her in.

"You look dreadful" she commented sitting on the couch.

"I feel it" I mumble feeling numb

"So they all know" Kat whispers when I sit down

"Yeah I figured they did" I cry "how bad is it?"

"They're pissed. Really pissed" Kat sighs giving me a tear filled look.

"Oh god do they know you knew?" I ask her fearful that they're all pissed off at her as well.

"Yeah Zack guessed it last night." Kat mumbles wiping her face "Matt isn't talking to me"

"Oh god Kat I'm sorry" I cry feeling terrible "is there something I can do?"

"Yeah" Kat nods opening her purse and pulling out a box "stay with me while I take this."