Nightmare

Chapter Thirty-Nine

Dezzy

A month had passed, a whole month of hearing nothing from Zack.

Don't get me wrong, I heard all about his little hissy fit. How he apparently thinks I am a liar. Who the hell would lie about everything I had been threw. My life was literally stranger than fiction.

You couldn't make this shit up if you tried. For him to doubt me, well that just proved I had done the right thing. He didn't even try to call me, find me. Nothing.

Well I wonder how he feels now knowing I am twelve weeks pregnant. Three months. Apparently he was waiting for me to call and tell him I had terminated my pregnancy. I guess the joke was on him, because he would never receive that call.

I felt lousy, my boobs killed me, I was always tired, and god the vomiting.

I have no idea why they call it morning sickness when it lasts all day and night. I am literally sick all of the time. I swear I can smell fish in the ocean and it makes me sick.

Thank god the Sullivan's were allowing me to stay with them because I don't think I could live alone at the moment. Barbra, god how I loved her. She was so sweet and caring. She did everything she could to keep me from being sick. I practically lived off of ginger ale and crackers.

But today was my first appointment to check on the progress of my little peanut. I was excited. Sure I was a little sad, I was hoping Zack would come with me to this appointment, but I was damned if I would call him and ask.

He didn't care obviously, I would act like I didn't either.

Fuck him honestly. He was just as bad as Jimmy. Maybe even a little worse in his own way because he made me believe he was different. Jimmy didn't hide the fact he was a selfish asshole.

Zack on the other hand, he hid it. He hid it well, until the very worst moment letting his true colors shine. From what I had been told by Kat he carried on like a petulant spoiled bratty child. That was behavior that a father shouldn't display. I wouldn't have my child growing up to act like that.

My child would be kind, my child would be loving and would give people the benefit of a second chance.

I showered quickly getting dressed rushing threw the process.

"Do you want me to go with you today?" Barbra asked me as I walked into the kitchen grabbing the juice and toast she had waiting for me on the counter.

"No ma'am" I smiled taking my vitamins "I will be fine. I'm going to swing by and check on Kat after though"

"Any day now for her" Barbra smiled "I bet she's excited"

"She's in nesting mode." I laughed "She asked me if I would come by and help her clean up the nursery again"

"I was the same way" Barbra nodded laughing "You will too. I bet you'll be worse than her and I put together"

I just smiled draining my juice and shoving the toast in my mouth.

I leaned over and kissed her cheek quickly walking to my car.

I checked into my appointment, reading the baby name book I picked out the other day. I had to pick a name for this baby, and soon I would be finding out if I were having a boy or a girl.

"Desiree?" I heard my name called and I followed the nurse letting her do my work up.

"All seems good." She smiled leading me to the examination room. "Dr. Williams will be in shortly." 

I nodded my head climbing up on the table waiting.

"Dez" Dr. Williams smiled walking in "How are we feeling sweetie?"

"Nauseous still" I shrugged "Boobs are swore. Still tired"

"It will pass soon" The doctor explained taking notes "You're nearing you second trimester. Usually it only last during the first. You should start regaining some energy, your apetite should return. Are you taking your vitamins?"

"I am" I nodded "They make me nauseous too"

"Yes they will," He nodded "But I've heard taking them with a banana will help. Your weight gain looks good for being sick."

"Oh good" I smiled "I was worried I wasn't gaining"

"No everything looks great." Dr. Williams smiled patting my arm "Let's  lay back and I will take some measurements of your belly to see how its progressing. I'll also listen to the heart beat and we will do another sonogram to check on the measurements there too. Based on your previous history this is considered high risk. Granted I don't think nothing will happen but we will monitor just to be sure."

"Okay" I nodded "I just want everything to go well"

"And it will" He agreed "We just have to watch closely, and you need to keep stress free. Is the father helping you out?"

"He isn't around" I muttered embarrassed.

"Oh I see" Dr. Williams frowned. "Well his loss."

"I agree" I nodded laying back allowing the doctor to take his measurements.

"You're growing at a very good steady rate" Doc laughed "Right where we want you to be good. Now let's hear this baby's heart beat."

He applied some gel and put the Doppler to my abdomen, I held my breath waiting for my peanut's heartbeat. I don't know what I would do if I didn't hear it but thankfully the doctor found it.

"Excellent. Nice and steady." He smiled "Very good. I am glad."

I just nodded holding back my tears. My baby was alive and well. It's heartbeat so strong.

The doctor applied more gel moving to the sonogram machine and pointed out my little baby "There the little bugger is."

I looked at the screen smiling. There, was my baby. Tiny but you could make out a small little face.

"Excellent, Dez" Dr. Williams grinned "Your baby is about two inches long and looks to weigh around half an ounce. Imagine a lime"

I grinned. My baby. The lime.

"Your fluids look good. I'd imagine you will start showing shortly" Dr. Williams laughed "Alright well, we will see you again in another four weeks. By then we will be able to tell you the sex of the baby if you wish to know"

"I do" I laughed "And I will see you then"

I hopped off of the table and checked out heading towards Kat's.

Any day now she would be giving birth, and I honestly couldn't wait. I had never held a baby and I was finally going to be able to. Her and Matt were so excited.

Truth be told I was a little jealous. I wish that Zack hadn't been an ass and was half as excited as Matt was to have our baby.

Maybe one day he would be. Who knew.